clickmom

so long fishy

The arrival of spring is heralded in many ways here in the Garden State. This is what stands out for me. Lack of socks. I get goose bumps just thinking about it. First I can wear my favorite shoes with out socks, and then they boys jump right back into their sandals and flip flops. This makes me happier than anything because the daily socks that match search has surely worn me down each and every year by the time spring comes.

The other sure fire sign that spring has arrived, and this typically occurs on the third day of delightful spring weather appreciation for me, is the roaring of the lawn guys. Those lawn guys return from wintering in South America, pull into the neighborhood, rev up their engines, and blow, trim, and whack up our lawns and flower beds until they are pristine. Naturally an out of doors conversation is impossible at this time, with all the spring cleaning noise pollution. It drives me crazy.

For the kids spring means carnivals. Evan had his heart set on the very first local carnival that gave out goldfish for prizes. Evan wanted nothing else from this carnival other than the goldfish. We forced him onto a few rides, since a goldfish needs to get out of the bag pretty soon, and then finally allowed him to participate in the goldfish game. The game at this particular carnival was tossing a ping pong ball into the right cup in a veritable sea of cups. We figured we were in for a good amount of change, but lucky Evan got his ball in a fish cup on the very first try. The carnival guy handed Evan a pale little fish and Evan refused, asking for one with "the right color". The carnival guy came back with a tiny beautiful orange fish. Evan took his fish and we headed home.

Once home I put the tiny fish in a large glass because I certainly wasn't going to waste money on a fish that was going to die the next morning. I'm pretty sure we gave it crumbled breakfast cereal to eat that day too. By the end of the second day I sent the husband out for fish food. On the third day, we transferred the pretty little fish to a roundish vase. After a week I reluctantly purchased a smallish fish bowl and some gravel from the pet store. After a month I went back for a tank with a filter.

That was five years ago.

Since I was initially convinced the fish wasn't going to be around for long, and since Evan had already proved himself to be an uncontrollable feeder (and therefore killer) of aquatic animals, I wanted to prevent him from getting too attached to the fish. So, I never suggested naming it, and secretly fed it myself every morning. Before long, I began to look forward the fish (which, with a complete lack of originality, I began to think of as "fishy" in my own head) doing it's little frantic swim of happiness when I appeared by the kitchen sink every morning. Feeding time! I'm no fool here the fish didn't know me from anyone, but I started to (gasp) get attached just a little bit. I knew I was in trouble one day, about three years into fishy's life, when a week after a tank cleaning fishy got some sort of tail fungus and I raced to the pet store almost crying while interrogating the shop owner about how to save the fish. A few drops of some sort of magic fish fungus killer and fishy was just fine.

As of late fishy had been developing some old guy habits. When I came down to greet him in the morning he'd be "sleeping" on the gravel on the bottom of the tank. Eventually he'd realize I was there and swim up for his morning meal. But day after day fishy spent more time sleeping and less time swimming. I cleaned the tank. Nothing changed. I transferred fishy back into an even larger vase, thinking there was something up with the tank, but nothing changed again. Eventually fishy didn't swim up for meals and a couple of days later he passed in the night. We had a little ceremony in the backyard. We buried fishy in the same corner as the dood. I gave him a little headstone that Kitten had given each babe one day. It just seemed to fit. I dug up some ground cover and transplanted it for fishy. I wanted things to be nice. And that was it. I tossed the tank, and regained some counter space. For about a week I'd go down in the morning and my left hand would hover over the counter on a futile search for the fish flakes which weren't there anymore before I realized what I was doing. Now I won't have to hire the teenager across the street to came in and feed fishy all summer. And I'll most likely never ever suck on a receiving end of a siphon hoping nothing gets into my mouth. The kids are fine, they barely even knew the fish existed, but I still miss him. I got attached.

A funeral for Doodles

I woke Matt up at 8 o'clock before taking his brothers to school. When I came back home to take him to school he was still asleep, so I woke him up again and went downstairs, holding my breath, waiting to hear his voice to know wether he had looked into the hamster cage or not. Tentatively I prepared his breakfast and packed his lunch.

Matt came down as I watched for signs of discovery. He seemed fine as I handed him his breakfast, then he remarked that he was concerned about the Dood who had not changed position since last night. I took a deep breath, gripped myself, and whispered "I'm so sorry." Matt knew what I was saying and fell into a crumpled little heap. I held him , he cried and he said all the things that we say when we lose a loved one. He wanted to know how I knew, and when I told him that I checked on the Dood in the early morning and that he was not breathing, Matt sobbed harder. He wanted to know "Why?" He wondered to me if there had been anything that he had done, or anything he could have done to prevent the Dood from dying. I gently reminded Matt that the Dood was old for a hamster and that Matt had been a great boy for him. Matt asked if we could bring the Dood to the vet for an autopsy so he could find out why the Dood died. I reassured him that he had not caused the Doods death. He said that if he had known the Dood was going to die so soon he would have "treasured the moments that they had together" more.

He asked what we would do with the Dood's body and I told Matt that it was his choice. I offered up a little box I had selected this morning for the Dood. Matt insisted we paint it black and then he insisted that he be the one who place the Dood inside it. So that is what we did. Matt had a Saint Christopher(?) medal taped to the Dood's tank. He got it when I photographed an animal blessing at a local church. On that day, two years ago Matt had put the Dood into a little carrying case, accompanied me on assignment, and had the Dood blessed. Matt thought that medal kept the Dood safe, and he taped it onto the black box so that it would continue to protect him. We discussed locations around the yard where not only would the Dood be safe from the Devil Dog but where we could also plant some special flowers for him in the spring.

Then we went to the pet store where Matt picked out a stone to lay on the burial sight. It reads "Here lies a faithful friend and companion." We picked up some flowers and now all that needed to be done is digging the hole and the funeral itself.

Matt wanted to wait for Evan and Josh to be home from school for the funeral, so we waited.  I knew that Evan would be full of sorrow and guilt, wondering wether or not the fall last month had anything to do with the Doods demise.  I knew that helping in whatever way he could would be meaningful to Evan.  After I picked him up, we came home and started digging the hole.  Evan and I made a hole about a foot and a half deep, just inside the fenced in back yard where Devil Dog would be shocked by her electric fence if she attempted to mess with the body.

When we were finished we called Matt and Josh, and had a lovely ceremony.  Matt wanted to place the "casket" into the hole, and he did.  Then Matt spoke of Doodles being like both a son and a brother to him.  He said the only thing different he would have liked is more time with the Dood.  I told how reluctant I was to let a critter into the house, and never expected to love a critter like Dood, who was as sweet and as gentle as Matt.  Evan was sobbing too hard to talk, and Josh wanted to talk, but wisely bowed out when he couldn't think of anything to say.  We took turns scooping the dirt back into the hole, as is Jewish tradition, and then placed the stone and the flowers on top.  We all went back inside and I found Matt to give him a hug.  He said he was happy with the ceremony and that he thought it was beautiful.  He always amazes me with how grown up he is.

another year of my life lost tonight

About 5 years ago Matt decided he needed his own pet. I decided I didn't want to change animal cages, but you know how that goes. The first pet Matt desired was a ferret. He read books on ferrets, examined ferret web sites and became a general ferret expert. There was no way he was ever going to get a ferret, since I had been in the odoriferous home of a multiple ferret owner and eventually Matt moved on to guinea pigs. He then amassed an ungodly amount of guinea pig knowledge, and finally realized that there would be no guinea pig either. His next animal focus became the hamster, which he researched with even more fervor than the other two. Eventually he wore us down, and three years into the quest for an animal he finally got his hamster.

Matt got a panda hamster, known to be gentler and less likely to bite than the other breeds. He named him Doodles. I call him The Dood. He is a good hamster. He has never bitten. He has never escaped his cage. His late night exercise no longer keeps Matt awake. Matt is very attached to his hamster. He loves The Dood.

Tonight I was helping care for The Dood while Matt cleaned his cage. Then Evan came into the bathroom and I let Evan hold The Dood. Then came the worst sound known to a hamster loving family. Whop. The sound of hamster hitting the tile floor from the dizzying height of 8 year old boy chest. Time froze as the three of us turned in slow motion to see The Dood lying motionless on his side on the bathroom floor.

Time resumed as Evan began to scream and Matt began to wail in heart broken agony. I knelt down beside the stunned Dood and noticed him beginning to move. I gently scooped him up, praying his back wasn't broken and turned him over to see if he could walk. You have no idea how pathetic it is to see a little four legged critter unable to use his front paws and walking like a seal on the bathroom rug. The sight of this made Evan scream louder, I kicked him out of the bathroom, and scooped The Dood up again and headed down stairs for the phone. I commanded the boys to stop their panic so I could call the vet and find out what to do. I dialed the phone number wondering just how to describe the situation while still sounding adult-like. While I was explaining the situation to the vets answering service I noticed that I could feel The Dood pushing on the inside of my hand with his front paws. I carefull placed him on the kitchen floor and he tentatively began to walk. I "never-minded" the vet's answering service and we got The Dood back into his clean cage. He seems fine.

The funny thing I noticed was that when Evan, the hamster dropping boy, was beside himself he kept screaming "Why me? Why does this always happen to me?" which I thought was interesting since he had never dropped and crippled a hamster before today. This must mean something. Shouldn't he have been wailing "OMG- I hurt The Dood! I didn't mean it!"?

why I am not a cat person

Yesterday I dropped Matt off at a friends house and happened to see a note the friends mom left for her house keeper. It read "Dear Sondra, Please change the sheets on my bed. I think the cat may have peed on them , they smell like cat pee." Dogs yes, cats no. Case closed.

Alien Stella

My neighbor has a dog. She is a German Shepherd named Stella. One of Stella's ears was not standing up all the way, but instead flopping over. I'm thinking this is an adorable look for an otherwise fearsome looking dog. My neighbor brought the dog back to the breeder and this is what the breeder did to her. Doesn't poor Stella look as if she is thinking, "Please don't humiliate me any more"? Yes, those are curlers taped, and glued, into her ears. She has to stay like this for up to 6 weeks. Poor Stella.

Is Sunny Trained?

I got Sunny this morning, and the trainer did a demonstration of her new leash walking skills, but he never got her to nip anyone and so didn't address it. I am disappointed over that, and tried to get him to set her up, but he wasn't on the same track as me on this and didn't understand my frustration and fear over it. He claimed that as an obedient dog she would be more responsive to me and my corrections, but I will believe it when I see it. I'll set her up with Evan running across the lawn, but can't set her up using any other kid and am not comfortable believing that she won't go for some other kids ankle. That is a real bummer. Nipping was definitely my #1 concern. I had resigned myself to having a fat lawn dog that never got walked because she was so bad with the leash, and could live with that, but not one that would put her mouth on people.

I came home and took her for a good walk, she tried to relax and not follow the new program but I was able too keep her in line. I plan on working with her every single day until it is second nature for her. I wonder if I call Invisible Fence if they can give me a remote for her shock collar to give her a buzz if she bites. I think a shock or two would be all she needs to unlearn nipping permanently. She learned the perimeter of the lawn real fast. Maybe I can ask visitors to wear little white warning flags on their heels. I mean, what are my options? She doesn't nip when we are playing with her, only when we are ignoring her. I'm not sure a trainer could see it. She isn't doing it when we are attentive. It seems to me that a couple of shocks would be more humane than bringing her to the shelter for nipping and putting her up for adoption with a big "no kids" sign.

The kids all said "Hurray Sunny's home, but Matt and Josh went about doing their own thing. Only Evan really wanted to reconnect with her and coaxed up on the couch so that they could lie together and watch TV. It strikes me as funny, since he was the only one who was opposed to replacing Oscar.