Possibly the only good thing abut the forementioned commute is the extra reading time I get each day. I finished my book group book, a full two weeks before book group. I may even read another book, and suggest it to the other book group ladies if I like it.
The book I just finished is "The Year of Magical Thinking" by Joan Didion. The book chronicles the year of her life after her husband dies. At the time her husband died their daughter happened to be critcally ill. It is a very candid look into Ms. Didion's inability to accept her husband's death, her desire to rewrite history and somehow prevent her husbands death. In the story Ms. Didion stands vigil at her daughters hospital bed during two near death episodes. After seeing her daughter back to health Ms. Didion is then left to continue living a life that is now incomplete without the husband she has lived personally and professionally entwined with for their entire marriage.
I felt terrible for Ms. Didion throughout the book, but to be honest with you guys, the one thing I felt every minute of every page is jealous. I was super jealous that she stood by her daughters bedside during her illness. I'm not sure my mother would. I mean I think she would come for a few days, but then I am fairly sure she would say my Dad needed her and she would go running back to wherever he was. I know this would happen because it did. When I was diagnosed with pnuemonia 2 years ago, my mom came to take care of me and my kids and then left before I felt OK, despite the fact that I begged her not to leave. So, I am pretty sure she wouldn't be sitting by my side if I was unconscious and couldn't even beg her to stay.
I was also jealous of her relationship with her husband. If I died my husband would be fine. If he died I'd be fine, and now I feel like that just isn't good enough. I think he should crumble if I happen to go first, y'know? I on the other hand I am allowed to be fine after his demise because I have to take care of the kids and stuff. I can't afford to have a bad year. I have to keep on going. But I wonder what it would be like to be married to someone and feel like he was an extension of me.
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In other news, and I am not sure if I really want to go here or not, it is "NATIONAL DE-LURKING WEEK" according to Papernapkin and Thequeenmama. So, to my bakers dozen faithful readers, why not de-lurk, all at once and give me a thrill. Let's go for broke and break my record of 4 comments per post... Give me your best shot....
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In more other news, we are going away for the weekend and I am not bringing the laptop, so I won't be posting again for a few days. I am not enthusiastic about this little trip, I am tired from my week of commuting, I miss my home, I miss my kids, I miss the gym, I want to relax, but won't get the chance. Also, since the moon is about to be full, I am surely going to be tired from all the hair growing, chasing woodland creatures around all night, tearing into their soft bunny flesh, and then the painful transition back into my self. The timing here just sucks. See ya next week.