Post Edgar about 17 hours

I think the reason why my shoulder is more painful than my surgery is because they give me a nerve block. My boobs are numb and the top half of my stomach is numb. And I hope this nerve block lasts for a whole week.

it’s 5 AM and I am awake because they aren’t giving me the good medication on the schedule. I have to ask for it and I am waiting for the next dose to kick in. But to be honest with you, I don’t think I would need it if my shoulder wasn’t currently on fire in pain. I was wondering why they aren’t giving me the kind of pain medication that you can just self serve yourself but then I realize that I don’t have an active intravenous trip.

I decided weeks ago that the chance of me trying to be a martyr post surgery was zero. My concern for being addicted to pain medication is also zero so I want all the medication I can get.

it’s cloudy and rainy here so I’m basically just watching the sky go from black to dark gray to less dark bluish gray.

I would need to consult the thesaurus to find a word that is somehow more all encompassing than immense to describe the level of psychological relief I feel over the absence of Edgar. I knew I was driving myself stressed out crazy but it’s kind of like I was even driving my knees, crazy, and my toes, crazy and my wrists crazy. Like the crazy went way beyond my head into every component that makes up my being. That might actually be the pain killers talking.