I started having dreams about the husband the last couple of nights. In my dreams he’s not sick which makes sense since I think that when we get to heaven, we are our optimal selves. And in my dreams he is walking on his own and both times I was shocked to see him walking and trying to figure out if he was really walking on his own or if I was confused. But strangely enough last night I was in my across the street neighbor’s house and it was infested with bugs and mice and the sinks were leaking water into big sagging puddles and for some reason, I was trying to clean it. Which is a really strange dream for me to have since I have been in their house and it’s always pretty tidy and my own house is a disaster.
The only reason I can think of for that dream was that I told someone how my neighbor was very friendly and helpful until he made a couple of passes at me and I shut him down and now I never see him anymore
Did I ever tell you about this guy? He started telling me how he and his wife have no physical relationship. ICK ICK ICK. Finally, the third time he did that I looked at him and I said “I don’t know why you’re telling me this. It’s not like I’m available.” Obviously, that was said before October. But holy creepy neighbor, right? He hasn’t been as friendly ever since. Maybe he has a fat girl kink. Or maybe he is turned on watching me drive around on the lawn mower. Hahahaha.
This is the best feeling. Present me is so happy that this morning me had the foresight to break up these little globs of ice that were on the driveway because the last time we had a little bit of snow, they were driven on and got compacted into ice and haven’t melted yet but because I broke them up and got rid of the biggest chunks this morning when I just came back right now to finish up the job, whatever was left had melted so I’m so grateful to my earlier self.
Couldn’t smoothly run the snow blower of them so they had to go and now they’re gone!
I am ready for the snow.
Worked to get the property cleaned up to snow blow in the morning. Sweet pea is still the best. Took her to see an old stepford friend today and she was just perfect. We took a long walk of the old neighborhood and my friend showed me all of the new new monstrosities going up in that town. It’s so funny how different the style is from there to here.
Snow just started coming down so I’m hoping there isn’t too much to snow blowing the morning. But I’m ready for it.
I’m feeling a bit more normal day to day. It’s a slow process. My therapist keeps reminding me that it takes time.
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