He’ll be coming round the mountain… tomorrow.

There are just too many things I could say. I could talk forever about every aspect of the last two weeks unfolded perfectly right down to arrival times and weather patterns and how I’m sure my guardian angels all got together and said “We gotta give her this one” because I am headed into this next round with such a better outlook.

My fears that I had become one of those people who just gets old early quickly faded away as I realized that each and every day I woke feeling more refreshed and youthful (haha word choice) than the day before until right now as I sit here and type this out, afraid to go to sleep because tomorrow is pickup day, but I feel like my old self again and I like it so much better here. I remember what it feels like to be the real me. Meaning not the angry burned out resentful guilt ridden desperate and tragically so sad she feels like her spirit can’t stop weeping me. Meaning that if I can go back to being that me right now (I don’t want to but the immediate future looks pretty fucking hard right now) then I will be able to return to my authentic self afterwards, too. Yeah. I know how corny it sounds but this break and how it unfolded and how I was received with such love by the people I chose to visit during my free time…… it’s been healing in this insanely deep and spiritual way. From sweet baby Josh being happy and chatty the whole ride up to the whales of Massachusetts putting on a grand show for the boat I stood on. Every single aspect of this trip made me feel so loved. To Pal and the goddess each welcoming me into their homes and spending hours and hours talking to and engaging with me, I cherished every second. Even by nature made me feel loved.

I’m going into this next chapter with the belief that I will be okay. I can do this right now. I can find the ways to take care of me. And most of all I can go forward knowing that I will be happy again and it won’t be hard to get there.