TISMF (expanded)

So I was talking to Marion on the phone today and she had this really interesting take. (The kid blows my mind with how together she is) I was telling her that I felt like one of the ways in which I have changed since doing the PTSD therapy is to be able to let go of potentially traumatic events and not to kind of, attach and magnify them with other traumas that have happened to me and therefore keep the festering cauldron of trauma alive with all of the trauma. (Me?? Letting go? Who would have thought!) Also, that I felt some super surprising empathy towards my mom when I realized that she was a shitty mom because she was unprepared and unable to cope with my sister’s behavior.

And that led to us talking about forgiveness, and how some people are able to forgive the worst, and she was saying that (get ready to have your mind blown) the benefit for people who can forgive other people that do horrible things is that by forgiving the person that did the bad thing you are also …. (This is big. Pay close attention) not taking responsibility for causing or being unable to avoid the bad thing yourself. BAM!!! It’s the story of my life!!

So by forgiving the person who did the bad thing, you’re kind of absolving yourself too, and that made so much sense and it also really hit hard.

I think we both need to ruminate on that for a bit. Let’s discuss the next time we talk.