Yesterday the wind here was crazy and I knew I wouldn't be heading to the woods. It was also super cold. When I came downstairs at 8 in the morning the husband was sitting in the family room. He had gotten himself up and pulled on some pants, and made his way to the family room without his walker. Way to give me a heart attack. Anyways, I knew he would be in a bad way come afternoon because he never gets up so "early" but there is no sense in trying to logic with someone who is no longer logical. Also he doesn't even know if it's day or night- like he forgot how to look out the window or something. In the afternoon I brought the husband to the wound care center for his scheduled visit with the new excellent doctor. Everything is coming along just fine in the wound department. However, in the car I could see him fighting to stay awake, just like a tired kid. When we got back to the house I could tell that he was so tired that he was starting to glitch. These days when he gets too tired it's as if his head can no longer send signals to his feet and walking doesn't come naturally anymore. I told him he was in need of a nap, and directed him towards his room. He happily got into bed and I tucked him in and wondered if I would see him again that evening.
Two hours later he emerges in the family room and sits down. That short nap was totally unexpected, but he seemed to have rallied and when he sat down he looked at me solemnly and told me that in the car ride home he wasn't sure who I was and he was trying to figure out if I was Marion or Evan.
I'm taking a break to have a little cry now.
For the past couple of weeks he has been more vocal about not recognizing any of his surroundings and never knowing quite where he is and I kept telling him that the only he needed to know is that I was there and I was going to take care of him.
When he fell 2 years ago and got carted off in an ambulance to the hospital all by himself (because no family members were allowed in the ER due to covid) with a concussion and didn't know anything and couldn't answer any questions but smiled when the nurse told him I AM ON THE PHONE WITH YOUR WIFE ... I really thought GREAT as long as he knows who I am I can handle this situation. He doesn't know anything except me, I can still take care of him.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!
I am trying to keep this dude at home and not have to put him in a memory unit somewhere and this is not a good development. I want to start doing alternative things, like give him some MTC oil, and see if it helps. I really need his brain to outlast his heart.
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