Because the only things that actually happen to the husband around here are positively not among the thousands of things that I manage to worry about on a day to day basis, last night, after I made sure the husband got safely to bed and "tucked him in" for the night, I said "Goodnight childhood nickname" (I learned it from his 90+ year old grandma back when I only knew him for less than 6 months and he brought me to visit her because he didn't have a mom to introduce me to) and he replied GOODNIGHT MOM.
Whoa. We are not the kind of old married people who call each other Mom (or Dad or "Mother" or "Father" Gross)
If this was a scene in a movie we would have also heard the needle being pulled across the vinyl record. I froze mid step and I asked "Did you just call me MOM?" He said "I think I did." I left it at that.
Ask me what I did last week... I knew you wanted to know! Last week I was searching how to tell if someone is getting close to death and seeing your dead relatives coming to assist you across to the other side is a big one. A big one. All of the hospice nurses say that one happens a lot. Was he confused or was he getting a Mom vibe because his Mom came to help him cross over? Both options are loaded with dread.
On the one hand I AM NOT READY FOR THIS and on the other hand WHEN WILL THIS BE OVER?
When your loved one gets confused it is so hard not to pressure them into declaring that they aren't actually confused. It's a terror through the heart. Instinctual response? DENIAL. You want to go over what they should be remembering, like its gonna stick if you just spell it out for them. Except it isn't and that just turns your world upside down. FEAR. Are we still ourselves when we have lost our accumulated life time worth of memories? AND THEN THERE IS THE OTHER OPTION: When your loved one starts to sense their dead mother's presence. I am not going to think about that. However, if my mother in law, who died long before I knew her son, so I've never met her, is here, can we discuss my lottery numbers? The husband used to be the kind of driver who doesn't use turn signals or stay in the lane when local roads have those s shaped curves and he never caused an accident. I know he has guardian angels keeping him safe. I'd like to ask a single favor of his extraordinary driving guardian angels... I will say those numbers out loud once I hit publish here. They know what to do!
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