No show skies

I haven’t seen a clear sky in 5 days. So, that means no sun but it also means no moon. No moon for five straight days. It’s killing me. (Exaggeration much?) I’m trying not to let anxiety take over but damn….. it’s hard. December 20th, my end date, is less than 3 months away and I’m already starting to get weirded out that this one year moon project will be over. How can I have been doing this for almost an entire year already?? How????

On the one hand, I feel this deep gratitude for all that I’ve learned about the moon in the past 9 months. I feel more connected (connected? In sync? Something like that) to life on this planet. (On this planet? Here? Maybe just plain …. to life?) Don’t read this like it sounds. I’m not sitting on the floor listening to whale music (inside joke with Pal), chanting with some incense burning behind me. I’m just feeling more … something that I don’t have the words for. This project slowed me down in the way where I just notice more things. Or maybe it was the pandemic. Maybe it was the whole never ending pandemic that did this for me. Or not the pandemic as much as my response to the pandemic. Obviously there are people out there who did not have the same luxury/freedom to hunker down, not to mention the desire or even the same level of concern for themselves and for others as I have experienced. Those people did not slow down and probably think I’m nuts to be living as cautiously as I still am. Honestly, it sucks. I hate it. But safety is my top issue. I want to go to the movies. I want to eat out and not have to cook and clean around my meal. But, in the end I’m 100% content with my choices. No regrets. No covid. No long covid. No worries.

Sigh. It seems incomprehensible that this is the second year long project, barely overlapping the other year long project, I’ve done during this pandemic. It s completely Ms incomprehensible that I’m contemplating a third year long project.

It’s insane. Now I’m associating year long projects with covid/pandemic and initiating another year long project is the same as admitting this virus hell world isn’t going to be over any time soon. I need a new strategy though. As fun as chasing the moon has been, (I fell in love with being at the beach in the last year.) when (if) I do choose to do another year long project I’m going to definitely choose something that I have consistent access to. This long block of cloud covered skies has been …insert all the negative words here…. and I’d prefer to choose a subject that is less weather dependent. I’m thinking a specific tree in my own back yard. I’ll be able to photograph that baby 24/7/365. I proudly told someone that in the year I photographed the animals with the trail camera I only forgot to set the trail camera up on one night. I was so proud. I got a blank stare back. People just don’t get it. The whole project is about the consistency and also monotony of doing the same thing day in and day out. In the 9+ months that I’ve been photographing the moon I have a pretty good track record for capturing the moon — when possible. I recall one time when I saw the moon, went inside to get my camera, and missed my chance. May have happened twice. I’ve had so much luck during this, though, so many times I didn’t think it was going to be possible and I was there for the ten seconds the clouds parted and made the moon visible. And I am grateful, like you can’t even believe, for being there at the right time with my camera time and time again. I’m still going to choose a more readily available subject.