So I knocked a little container of blueberries off the shelf in the grocery store and a woman came along and I was kicking them to the side and I told her be careful because I knocked a container of blueberries over. She looked at me and said “Don’t worry I won’t tell anyone.” Which caused me to pause and I said “Yeah I just don’t want anyone to slip and fall and crack their head open” which caused her to pause, look at me hard and she said …… “You’re nice. I wasn’t expecting that. “
Welcome to 2022 where everyone is mean.
The husband is in the hospital again. This time not only is his congestive heart failure rearing it’s ugly head but he has had a couple of small strokes. One of which affected his ability to get the right word out of his mouth. I did not have “inability to communicate while being as aware as he typically is” on my long list of things to worry about. Now his doctor wants to do a catheterization. The husband, who doesn’t even think he is a desperately sick and medically fragile person gave the thumbs up And I’m going crazy trying to speak with the doctor. I have big time reservations. There are a lot of texts going back and forth between me and the people I’m keeping aware of this situation.
I imagine this conversation with the doctor going like: I’ll outline all the reasons why this is extra risky to do to the husband and the doctor tells me that everything I’m worrying about is not valid and pressures me into saying yes anyway. And now I’m in the position of do I do this procedure that I personally believe to be maybe not worth the risk or do I allow him to do this procedure and hope that we don’t end up in a worst-case scenario situation.
Insert all of the curse words.
There is a part of me that is looking around the room feeling like I can’t believe all of these extraordinarily huge decisions are landing on my shoulders. There is a part of me that thinks somebody else should be handling this because I’m too inexperienced.
I’ve been thinking a lot about that story the woman from the woods told me about her friend who didn’t call 911 for 45 minutes after her husband fell to the floor conshing his heart. And the husband didn’t make it. How? How? How? I don’t know how somebody can be like that.
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