Tired and irritable. What else is new?

Oh my god. Just had to be mean to the husband and nip his feeble attempt at gas lighting me in the bud. Background: never in the first 32 1/2 first years of our relationship did he ever wake before noon outside of going to work. Before kids I would spend the weekend mornings alone in Central Park with our two dogs. After kid I’d spend the weekend mornings alone with the kid and dog in prospect park. I specifically remember gazing at all of the couples doting on their kids TOGETHER and thinking “Wow, that mom is not alone”. Or worse, seeing all the dads playing with their kids to give the moms a break.

So, in the last 6-12 months he’s been super irregular with his sleep. Often going to bed before dinner and sleeping half the day and into the night- and then getting up early. This is not anywhere near his normal. Totally new behavior.

This is how things go down in this house these days. I rolled around in bed for a while this morning because the moon wouldn’t even be visible today even if it wasn’t completely overcast and at 9 when I descended the stairs with my sweet puppy I heard the television on downstairs. (ER marathon- a whole other story for a different day) So, I say to my sweet pea “Daddy is already up” to which the husband declares “It’s 9 o’clock!!” With utter disdain in his voice as if he is a morning person who never sleeps past dawn and I am saying something absolutely degrading and absurd. So I say “I KNOW YOU and you can’t pretend with me. I’ve been here for 33 years and spent the first 32 1/2 on my own every weekend morning, so don’t try to pretend to be the person you WISH you were instead of the person you actually ARE. You can’t gaslight me”. AND NOW HE IS PISSED!

I told him he better not pull that shit with the person who waits hand and foot on him day in and day out. And luckily he’ll definitely forget about the whole thing.

Seriously!! SERIOUSLY!! People in my old neighborhood used to be shocked to find out I was married. I refuse to live in his fantasy world where he was engaged and involved.

But in the mean time he said he was going to write down what time he wakes up every day to prove me wrong and I said he’d have to start in 1989 and his historical behavior is what counts because I know him. Can you imagine pretending to be someone who behaves completely the opposite of the way you have lived the past 3+ decades of your life? I’m way too tired and irritable to deal with this.