I went into the grocery store again today but I didn't have it in me today to call the selfish maskless bastards out. I guess my anger reserves were low, probably because I feasted on delicious vietnamese food last night and I loved every bite of it, made even more delicious by the fact that I didn't have to prepare it, I was so satisfied. I was so happy and content. Anyways, Today, while in the store, I simply steered clear of those trash pile humans. Then I had therapy and I discussed that woman from last week with my therapist, and how shook I was upon realizing that she was not viscously in-your-face, middle finger, maskless, but rather completely ignorant with no outward anger, only innocent misinformed confusion. (or in plain english: STUPID AS FUCK). We had a long talk about how all of this anger and resentment I allow myself does not serve me, as it only makes me physically ill and mentally weary and how I have to stop. Just stop. I have to accept that I do have to walk this earth alongside scum bag peeps who couldn't give a rat's ass about anyone other than themselves. And when I am wallowing in the anger of that I'm only hurting myself. I know that! I know! But it isn't fair. I treat people how I would like to be treated and I want the same respectful treatment back. It's never gonna happen. So, I am going to work on this, but not until after I write a letter and send it to every person who has a local social media platform in hopes that someone publishes it and it can maybe have the effect of some of those fuck face stupid assholes behaving better. (Not being angry, just accurately describing) I will copy the letter here once I am finished with it. Then I will "let it go."
Okay: topic shift: The animal photos. So, I wanted so bad to keep track of each day and what was happening but doing that completely threw me off. I was taking forever to both catalog the animals and their activity and also edit the better images out of the folders. Something about going back and forth between looking and writing really messed with my groove. I really wanted to mostly edit and that is what I ended up doing. I wished I had an assistant sitting near by so that I could dictate while editing and the assistant could record what I wrote. I discussed this with the editor today and she suggested I do a voice to text recording thing while I do a re-edit and then I can have everything typed out. Sounds like a good plan. Let's see how it goes.
What I did to edit was I pulled hundreds of photos out, then I divided them into folders by specific action/attitude/scene, and then I did a more severe edit by pulling out only the top images from those folders into a single folder and somewhere in there I think I lost the intimacy that leads to the tender feelings for the animals that I have and want the viewer to walk away with too. I'm pretty sure it boils down to repetition, because watching the deer or foxes do the same things over and over season after season is the thing that creates what I want to do. In the end the question will be: How many images can I possibly put in a single book? Obviously since I just put 286 images into my bird book, I can put almost 300 images into it. That's a long book. (another long book) I have to think this one through. Maybe long books is my pandemic thing. Time passing is definitely one of the themes here. Anyways, I think I need to do another edit and in this next edit I will find some number of images that fall in between not enough and ridiculously too much. The other decision I am grappling with is wether or not to separate the actions in the book or not. I think that presenting the actions in the isolated way, like in chapters, gets to the point faster but then I would have to present it so that it relives the year long project over and over 6 or 7 times through each topic. I dunno. I guess I will have to start with the book dummies again and see what makes sense once I hold it in my hand. I am trying to avoid making 15 different book dummies like I did with the bird book. It would be fantastic to get it right the first time but I also want to cap the number book dummies. Maybe 3? I don't know.
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