The whole moon project has not gotten off to a great start.
That is an understatement.
To be more accurate, the whole moon project looks like a big fail thanks to a solid week of solid cloud filled skies and if I am going to move forward with the images I have thus far I think I have to think of it as something other than a moon project. Which I figured out a few days ago, and I decided that making any image looking up at the very time I would like to be photographing the moon might have to count as a stand in. Yesterday I lucked out with a flock of vultures hanging out in my trees. Today I saw a cute little woodpecker. But, I think that is how it is going to have to go down. I am picturing this book being laid out with one week per spread and choosing one image from each week to be larger than the rest on each spread. Kind of like a weekly calendar with a highlight. And hopefully the highlights will be all moon shots. Or not, it's really too soon to say. After this past week I can imagine an even longer stretch of moon blocking clouds out there. I'm only 10 days into what is either going to a one season/3 month project or another year long document to prove my existence during this hellish time of personal and world wide pain and suffering.
Oh my gosh, the clouds parted for a quick minute today. I saw sunshine and I dashed over to the camera and ran out the door and frantically looked around to where I thought the moon might be, to no avail. Then thinking the moon might be tough to see because it was visible as the thinnest of thin crescents I pulled my phone out for a quick internet search and. You. Are. Not. Going. To. Believe. This. There was no moon today. None. Dejected, I dragged myself back inside plopped down on the couch and watched as the clouds swallowed up any blue for the remainder of the day.
edit: I did some internet searching and found out that in my area the winter months average 7 clear days and 7 partly sunny days PER MONTH, as in LESS THAN HALF OF THE TIME will I even have the opportunity TO SEE the clear sky and the moon (insert the sound of me weeping) which means the moon project can no longer be referred to as the moon project. I mean, calling it the MOON project would be too a much of a stretch even for an optimist like moi. Maybe I will shift over to calling it the skies project. At this point a clouds project would be more successful than a moon project. Dammit.
I was supposed to talk with the new shrink a couple of days ago and I texted him, as per usual, to let him know I was ready at our prearranged time. Normally he calls or texts me back right away. When that didn't happen I knew in my gut he had covid. He texted me back hours later and said he had tested positive and had laryngitis. This got me thinking a worse case scenario situation in which he doesn't make it. I feel like I am slow motion going through a bit of a breakthrough these days, so that would be unfortunate for me, but, I wondered, would I be able to continue this progress without him? I think so. And he has written a bunch of books which I could always read. I haven't read them because I am well aware of reading not being my most effective learning style, but in a pinch I know it would be better than dead ending this momentum. Also, let's be real, he says the same things to me over and over so, I pretty much know what his response to whatever I am discussing will be. I am a bit nervous about him though, I can't explain it, I just have a bad feeling about his future health.
I have been having super vivd dreams for a couple of weeks now. In one particular dream I was pushing the husband up a street in his wheelchair when I spot a polar bear coming towards us. I turn to run down someone's driveway to hide behind their house and pushing the wheelchair is definitely slowing me down. You know where my dream mind went. It went to the bad place. Just for a second, but I did dream push him to safety. Even in my dream state I realized that my thought had been rather harsh. Then I saw a crowd of people walking with the polar bear as if he was the hero in a small town local parade, and that was when I knew the whole world had gone crazy. Also, why a polar bear? Why not a brown bear which would be an actual possibility. Even my dream self recognized how odd of a threat the choice a polar bear is. My mind, what a mystery.
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