When I had the mower serviced early this spring, I joked with the repair guy that the blades might be messed up because every time I mowed along the poorly self installed leaning and crooked 6 foot high fence of our neighbors there were rocks on the path. I jokingly told him that I suspected the neighbors were tossing rocks over their fence. And we laughed over it, except I wasn't totally joking.
Fast forward to two days ago.... Guys. Those MFers are totally throwing rocks over the fence. How do I know? I know because the NEWLY PLACED rocks are literally sitting on top of whatever grass and weeds they fall on. Rocks that emerge from the ground after a frosty winter do not sit on top of grass, leaves and sticks. I also thought for a quick minute that they were throwing bits of household trash over the fence, but then I saw those small items moved the next day and realized that it is possible that a small animal is (I drove past and peered into their yard to see the situation) snatching some of the trash from their 3 overflowing piled high with garbage trash cans and dragging the trash underneath the fence in order to enjoy the neighbor's snack in my delightfully trash free back yard. I just can't with these people! Their trash cans look like what one might see in the popular public park after a beautiful holiday weekend when the park was wall to wall with families picnicking and there wasn't enough trash receptacles. IT IS FRIGGING GROSS. And I do not know what to do about it. Thankfully the wind blows in a direction that if their trash was stenchy, the stench would blow across their front lawn and not towards my house, but still.... So, I have established that they are unsanitary, but the rock thing is of more concern.
It's one thing to be a disgusting trash hoarder and not recognize that your trash might impact someone else, but it is an entirely different thing to intentionally THROW ROCKS ONTO MY LAWN. Because, let's be honest here. My knee jerk reaction is to outdo these people. They might throw rocks, but I am not above throwing whole bags of gravel. (slingshot anyone?) Also, they have an awful lot of new landscaping against that fence. It would be a shame (not) if their plants suddenly started to do poorly.... You know what I mean?
Anyways, I am gathering the mental fortitude to go over there and politely discuss what is happening. Then I plan on calling state agencies or the police because JFC months of garbage stacked on your driveway? Who does that in a place that fronts as a nice respectable suburban town? Also, why are my neighbors always strange?
Did I ever share stories about the hoarder next door from stepford? Or the antisocial people on the other side, whose fist thought at seeing me move in was to hope out loud that my 4 year old and newborn baby wouldn't be climbing the fence of her backyard to swim in her pool. Or the multitude of strange folks that lived in my building in Brooklyn? Like Crazy Dan the drug addict who threw bags of his own shit into our backyard in Manhattan? And yes, we had the treasured apartment with a backyard in Manhattan. That was an awesome backyard. We were too young to know how special it was. Or how less than desirable it was to walk past the building's incinerator/garbage chute receptacle to get to and from our apartment, or live in the mouse infested basement, with the building's laundry machines, convenient and noisy.
I would like to be surrounded by neighbors who are just normal people.
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