I watching one of those television medium shows and the medium said that when you dream about people they're actually visiting you and letting you know they're still with you. I find this thought completely comforting and would like it to be true, so I asked out loud for anyone ( I feel like I've got a parade up in heaven I'd like to hear from) who was with me to show up in my dreams.
Then I went to bed and completely forgot about it. The following night, however, I dreamed of my friend Bob, who passed in 2014. In my dream, my dear friend came to me, with long silver streaked braided hair a la Bo Derek in 10 circa 1979, only longer, like down to his waist with the braids form the front tied into a know behind his head, which seemed relevant and deep dream level meaningful somehow even though I had never known Bob to have hair any longer than maybe 4 inches back in the 80's when guys had big puffs of hair on the top. Also, for most of the time I could actively see Bob he still had beautiful black hair, and only went gray in the last decade when he was LA and I only saw him in person once. But his hair was jaw dropping gorgeous and that felt important. In the dream I was a bit confused and was trying to understand how Bob had hurt Josh (I know! That never would have happened in real life) and it was bothering me, but then once I was awake and struggling to figure out what the meaning was behind what I had been dreaming, I came to the conclusion that Bob had not hurt Josh, but was saying that he was sorry he couldn't be here to help Josh and was going to be here spiritually to give strength to Josh during bad the times, when Josh was hurting. This made infinitely more sense and just sat better with me.
I miss my friend. I even miss the parts of him that were kind of scary. He knew a sadness that went to depths I haven't visited.
One friend, I am so grateful I don't have to miss is Pal, who is doing well despite being a widower for over a year now. I spoke within today and he was just so happy and positive, as he has been about almost everything along the way, and good things are coming his way, and he is even trying to get me pulled into his world of happiness, photographically, which I completely appreciate and want to be a part of like nobodies business and am trying very hard not to get my hopes up about. FINGERS CROSSED!!
This morning I was talking to a sweet old guy at the dog park today. He’s an old Italian guy, in his 80’s, always talks about mushrooms and gardening with anyone who will listen. I adore this guy. More than some of my peers who don't seem to have patience for older folks. I actually followed him back to his house because he gave me some arugula seeds that I plan on planting today and he was talking about his neighbors who are a gay couple. (Their house was immaculate) I told him that I would love to live next to a gay couple and that my best friend in the world is gay. I told him my sister is gay and that I think she is a fantastic human being. And then, he took a hard swallow and shared with me that his brother is gay. I suspect that it was the first time he told anyone that. I was so happy for him, I told him I didn't know he had a brother and that he should bring him to the dog park. We talked about things other than being gay because in the end, it's the other things about you that make you who you are, gay is just a tiny piece of the puzzle and I am really hoping that having shred this with me, seeing that there is no shock or shame involved helped this old guy know that his brother is way more than his sexuality. It was a very sweet moment.
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