Yeah, I do!

So technically, it’s day 15 of Wheezy lockdown.

In the first week, which was psychologically the worst of the two weeks, I tried to walk sweet pea twice. The first time I cut it short after a couple of joggers jogged up from behind way too close for comfort and the second time the same freaking this happened again.

During the second walk the first jogger passed so close I could tell her jogging clothes were freshly laundered. Then some dickhead kid on a bike passed me so close i might have felt his jacket brush my arm. Both of these incidents took place while I was walking sweet pea through the middle of an empty parking lot so there wasn’t an excuse for this rude behavior. I was determined to get a decent walk in for my own sanity so I changed course and returned to the open field, where it appeared people had cleared from. That made sense it was getting dark. So, I walk about half way around the 1/2 mile loop when I’m startled by another jogger sneaking up from behind and passing right next to me. I’m chatting on the phone as she passes and I say to my friend “I can’t take these F-ing joggers.” But, this jogger isn’t wearing earphones and she hears me and she turns around about 20 feet in front of me and shouts “Do you have something to say to me?” and I freeze for a half a second and then this feeling washes over me and I know I am 100% committed to whatever is going to happen I am about to unleash and so I scream back to her “Yeah, I do! Stay 6 F-ing feet away from me, BITCH!”

At this moment the jogger gives me the posture- the kind that says “Im gonna fight you” and I’m pretty shocked because, she , like me, appears to a white middle aged house frau type. I mean, she had some jiggly junk in the truck, I’m guessing that jogging was very new to her. I’m quite momentarily confused by the situation. Then in my own head that voice that always talks my thoughts to me gives myself permission to release 55 years of repressed anger all over this chick, and as she and I stare each other down for a quick second I actually visualize myself on top of her and slamming her head repeatedly into the path. I actually tell myself that getting C19 would be worth it if I could hurt her bad enough. I’d end up saving lives in the end because I’d be standing up for all the people who want people to keep the F away. I’m going to be a martyr. Just then a couple leaned in and said something to the jogger. I don’t know if they said “That lady is right, you should stay 6 F-ing feet away” which would have been accurate or if the two said something more along the lines of “You should keep running, that fat chick looks insane” which I’m pretty sure was an absolute pin point accurate depiction of my inner thoughts, but the jogger turned and ran off. What kind of coward doesn’t finish what she starts? A jiggly assed jogging coward, would be the correct answer.

I haven’t been beyond my own backyard since.