clickmom

the accident

So, the accident. 

I pull up to a 4 way stop. There are only two lines of cars. My line and the line to my right. It's dark and drizzling. It's me and a mini van. The mini van drives off, so I accelerate through the intersection and the escalade behind the mini wan rolls right through the stop sign and crashes into the front end of my vehicle. She must have accelerated because she hit me so hard that she rotated my car almost 90 degrees until we were almost facing the same direction (hers). I think the thing that stopped the actual side of my car from slamming into the side of her car during the spin was that her tire was jammed into my wheel well. 

Anyways.

It happened so fast that I don't even recall it in slow motion, like I would something more typical, like tripping in the woods. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her car coming towards me, felt like it was going to swallow me, then the spin and then a pain at the base of my thumb. I must have whacked my hand on some part of the steering wheel- it turned purple in about 30 seconds. My wrist is a bit sore, but nothing like how it would hurt if it were broken.

I picked up my phone and immediately called the police, hoping some person might stop to say they witnessed the accident. As I was on the phone with the cops all the cars just drove around us and all of the shattered glass, metal and plastic in the road and deserted us. The cop on the phone said it was ok. They just wanted to make sure that we weren't hurt. He told me that we should both put our emergency blinkers on and wait. I sat in my car texting my friends telling them mostly Some bitch just ran a stop sign and hit my car. I'm so PISSED and then the cops came, got us to back our vehicles out of each others and pull over out of the intersection so they could talk to us.  When the cop came over to me I asked Is she drunk? He said NO I asked Was she texting and he said NO, and he said that she said she thought I was turning right, which made no sense at all , so I made a face and a look which expressed my feelings and the cop said "Yeah, I know." 

Then the lady came over to me and said we should probably exchange information. I grabbed paper from my car and we did. The cop finished writing his report and said my car looked safe to drive. He said he thought it was only my windshield wiper fluid and not to use the fluid. The lady came back to me and 

and and

THANKED ME FOR BEING SO UNDERSTANDING BECAUSE SHE HAD HAD A REALLY BAD DAY.

My head exploded, and then they brought the hazmat team to clean my brains off of the street.

No really, I just stood there.

Speechless.

The woman who rammed a gigantic truck into me just told me that she had had a bad day.

I still..... 

Wow sister.

Just WOW.

The cop drove away.

The lady drove away.

And, naturally, because, HOLD MY BEER! NO ONE GETS A WORSE DAY THAN I DO! my car died about 1/4 mile down the road and I had to sit there, cold and wet, waiting another 45 minutes for AAA to come get me.

Luckily, when I got back to the house, there was a bottle of unfinished wine from Thanksgiving on the counter, so I chugged it as soon as I got in. I immediately felt all the tightness that had been building up in my back since I stopped shaking. (I forgot to say that I began to violently shake after getting hit, which may have triggered some shark bite memories. I shook violently from the blood loss back then) I think I stopped shaking as the tow truck driver pulled into my mechanics parking lot. Something about being in the place where people take care of me. I like my mechanics. Or the fact that it had been almost 2 hours by then, so I guess you can't shake forever.

Anyways.... Tomorrow I'll figure out what to do about getting the car looked at. Gotta go to a collision guy. I guess. Not sure how it works. I want it to be totaled. I don't think I will ever be able to trust it again. 

But you know what is really getting under my skin? The lady who hit me was driving a rental escalade so she doesn't have go through the pain in the ass of getting her car fixed now!

 

dog diana

 Two nights ago I dreamed that I had a new dog. It was a small dog and I was very sure in my dream that the absolute perfect name for my new dog was Diana Ross. In my dream I worried that Diana has three syllables and dog names were supposed to have two syllables. I wondered if I could call the dog Diane or if I could call the dog Anna. I quickly ruled out Anna because I have a friend named Anna. Evan was with me in the dream.  It was weird because in my dream Evan was only about 2 1/2 feet tall. He was the size of a child with the body of a man.

 Oh yeah. Last night I was in a car accident. Some woman ran a stop sign and drove straight into the front of my car. The part of me that got hurt is my right hand. This is a particularly upsetting because my right hand is my camera carrying hand. I don’t think anything is broken just bruised   I’ll give you the whole story tomorrow 

yay for being fine

So, I got the barbed wire braces off. It wasn't quite the experience I was thinking it might be. In my imagination I was on my knees sobbing with relief and joy that the torture was over. And as soon as they were off (in my imagination) my stress levels would plummet so low I'd wonder if I had actually been stressed before or not.

SO yeah, it didn't happen like that. First, let me say that to all of the people who smugly told me I'd be freaking out that my real teeth felt slimy after the braces I say, WRONG. They felt slick for exactly 12 seconds and then they felt like sweet relief. And that sweet relief lasted for a couple of hours until I had to return to the orthodontist for the thing that isn't exactly invisalign because its functioning merely as a retainer, except without the thick pink colored plastic on the roof of my mouth and with out the strip of metal across the front of my teeth. Instead its a complete clear my teeth shaped plastic tooth surround which annoyingly covers all of the roof of my mouth minus the small bit in the center which the orthodontist cut out without dulling the 90 degree angle cut edges. When you have one of there torture devices in your mouth you are not supposed to drink anything other than water- and nothing hot either, which has been the equivalent of taking my security blanket away from me. Folks, I walk around all day long with a travel mug full of caffeinated goodness in the form of either tea or coffee (mostly tea, which explains the strange orange hue to the few parts of my teeth which are still mine and not ceramic filling) and taking that away from me is akin to stealing a baby's pacifier. Not kidding. I am completely unnerved, not to mention slightly dehydrated.

Also, this fool orthodontist didn't tell me how to get the thing out of my mouth and the first night I almost had a heart attack thinking I'd need to go to the ER to get it out because clawing at the edges along the outside of my teeth didn't budge it. It was only when I hooked my finger into the cut out part on the roof of my mouth was I able to break the suction and gradually, by alternating left and right sides, pry the appliance out of my mouth. It looks like I'm trying to purge a meal and confused about where to stick my finger. Its definitely not something I want to do in public and when I have to do it in public I shield the horrifying sight with my non-prying left hand while my right hand goes to work. I still look like I am wrestling an alien out of my throat. 

The orthodontist also put some kind of glue and wire thing behind my front teeth which is supposed to anchor them and not slice my tongue to shreds but guess what is happening? I've been waxing it at night. Another topic to discuss when I file my formal list of complaints. 

If you recall, dear reader, the whole braces thing came about because I knew I would detest an invisalign and did not want to be in the position of having to force myself to cooperate with something that caused me angst. And.... here I am! I suffered through braces just to end up in an invisalign. Dammit. I am ready to rip into the orthodontist. 

Also, not that I want to complain or anything, but since I am already complaining in my head every day, this orthodontist dude clearly did not listen to a word I said and completely disrespected me by NOT FREAKING LISTENING. I told him I knew I would not be compliant and did not want an invisalign. I think I was so shocked when he put it in that I couldn't even respond. 

And this my friends is why I am DONE - FINISHED- OVER -TAKING A LONG BREAK FROM-NOT SEEKING OUT- men. I am going in search of women doctors. If I haven't already decided you're worth tolerating I am not signing up. Can not handle being around dismissive disinterested threatened men- anymore.

Have I told you about the saga of trying to figure out why I don't feel good? Oh my gawd, I tried very hard to use this male doctor who was recommended to me, but basically he is an idiot and can not even answer basic questions about the tests he orders for me, so I will be finding another doctor. I just can not handle incompetence right now. Especially when it comes from a man. I just assume a certain level of condescension and I'm not going down that road. Just can not. Also, I need a doctor who is smarter than I am- because I am well versed but not a doctor, so I want to be impressed by your breadth of knowledge and not have to school you on how allergy tests work.

In the good news department, I don't have bladder cancer, which I didn't think I had. And in a couple of weeks I'll be seeing the kidney doctor to find out there is nothing wrong with my kidneys, which is what I want to be told despite the blood, red and white blood cells in my urine. So, yay for being fine.