It's currently 10 degrees out (almost 11AM), which is way less frigid than the -3 it was when I woke up and realized that today is going to be another day of not getting out of bed at a decent hour because it's so cold out I can't do anything I want to do anyway, and by anything I want to do I clearly mean the one and only thing I ever want to do, which is head out with sweet pea and my camera and work on what ever project I am currently obsessing about. (It's the tree carvings project)
In my perfect world daytime hour temperatures would never be below 40, snow would only exist for hours at a time, and when I'm shooting light it would be bright and sunny and when I'm shooting with no shadows the sky would be covered in a light reflecting thin layer of even cloudiness- like a big reflector bowl. Also, there would not be human biting bugs in the summer- or another time for that matter. (That means you, ticks!)
Speaking of snow, there is a possibility of snow in the forecast, which makes me SAD people. (Double entendre there. Seasonal Affective Disorder!!) I was anxiously checking the world's most inaccurate weather app (as in the one that comes on my iPhone) in hopes of seeing a warming trend to melt the snow which is already on the ground and got the opposite of what I have been dreaming about. One day I am going to have to turn this script around and instead of getting the opposite of what I hope for I will get what I want. My secret fear is that this some kind of cruel self fulfilling prophecy and that in actuality I do have some kind of psychic mind control over what comes down the pike for me and I am asking for the disappointment by not being proactive about expecting something better. Today I am going to make a vision board.
Things to put on my vision board:
- A jackpot winning lottery ticket
- Gallery representation
- My three kids living geographically close to me for all of eternity.
I'm pretty sure that is not too much to ask for. (OK, I'm admitting the lottery is a stretch, but someone wins, it could be me! Why not me? I'm just as worthy of a candidate as anyone else who goes out and gets a ticket. However, just incase, I'll be having the husband buy the ticket today under the theory that he has such better luck than I do (exception-health) that I suspect his guardian angels are stepping in with assistance more often than mine are.)
It's the last day of vacation, which also feels a bit like the last day of a jail sentence. The husband can't physically do anything, he also won't sit in a wheelchair and get pushed around. Josh doesn't want to do anything except play computer games, and I just sit here waiting for the shit to hit the fan with the husband's health and for Josh to go off to college. Really, I am this passive blob of ridiculous patience who kind of wants to stand up and scream about how this is no way to LIVE and force these two out of the house but then, who wants to drag unpleasant people out to do things that they don't want to do? They have the special ability to suck the joy right out of anything I'd like to do so I sit here and do nothing. Gah. This sucks.
Tomorrow Josh goes back to school and the next day I drive Evan to the airport. We haven't seen that much of Evan, he's been hanging out with his friends and girlfriend mostly but I can't blame him. We are so boring, which I already knew but has been hammered home to me by the observation that every time Evan does walk into the room the husband is in the big chair and I am on the couch with the tv on but we are both likely staring at our own individual hand held screens. I gross myself out. But not today! Today I am making a vision board (see above) AND cleaning up in the kitchen. No one will look at my kitchen tomorrow and wonder if I am a hoarder. (As in completely clearing off the kitchen island and table)
Ok, gotta go find those photos of lottery winners to change into photos of myself.
Comments