So, last week, I pulled a typical clickmom and went flying over a curb while going full speed ahead. Technically, the toe of my boot got stuck on a small stick jammed between the curb and my boot and the rest of me, thanks to the full speed ahead momentum of the moment, just sailed right into the air, hovering horizontally over the parking lot pavement, when I instinctively jerked myself around so as not to fall flat on my own face but instead managed to land on my right side, and more specifically my right arm which was pinned to my side, making (in my own imagination, because obviously, I didn't see myself go airborne) my in-air jerking movement somewhat similar to that of a suffocating fish flopping on a dock kind of thing.
I was walking with my friend who kept saying "One second you were there and the next second all I saw was your boots in the air" or something along those lines. I might be trying to block the entire incident out of my mind. In any case, I was instantly overwhelmed with pain, oh my god, I wanted to die , pain. I only managed to get on my own knees because (I really didn't want to die) I was afraid someone would come screeching into the lot and not being able to see me since my own vehicle was in the spot beside the one I was lying in would pull into the spot and crush me in some way I had not managed to already crush myself and cause me additional pain. So, I got to my knees, unable to speak, then I got to my feet and leaned up against my filthy street salt covered car, stifling the desire to puke up the 3 cough drops which had been my only form of sustenance for the day. Then, once I was able to gasp something out loud to my audience (because why fall when there is none there to embarrass myself in front of? That would be a waste of a fall!), which I'm pretty sure went something like "Can't talk. Gonna puke". Also, made jokes about funny bone not being funny, because I wanted to be macho in my despair. Eventually I had to move because the pain and nausea morphed into the sweats and I had to open my trunk and rip my scarf off and unzip my big fluffy dog walking jacket with my non throbbing left arm.
To make a long story short, came home, passed out on an ice pack, woke up still in agony, got x-rays , nothing broken, elbow swollen beyond anything you want to see, bruising like crazy, shoulder muscles beginning to lock up from the trauma, went to new town chiro who does a million eastern practices too and she (among other techniques) BLED MY ELBOW. The only thing that would make this story better would be actual leeches, but she did it by puncturing my skin and applying cups, the kind they use in cupping, and holy moly it hurt like crazy and was totally gross as the cups kept filling with blood, losing suction and dropping off into a bucket but when she was done, elbow wasn't swollen anymore! Hurray!
Then over the weekend things began to move in a good direction with the elbow and I noticed the purple was getting yellow, gross but progress none the less. I did my part and did the arm stretches the chiro said would facilitate healing, ice and arnica and then this week, on Monday climbing down a steep hill I freaking slid in a mud patch because the nutmeg state is coming out of a deep freeze and the ground is basically all mud and I plopped down on my ass in what would have been a nothing fall had my left elbow not tapped a rock and set my whole pain, swelling, bruising, thing right back into motion. Today I went back today for more bleeding and other stuff.
Did you catch the cough drop reference? I am still sick. I have been sick the entire moth of January you guys. Whine whine whine. I thought I was over the hump, and took the husband to the doc for his post surgical check up (I may have not mentioned that he had a defibrillator implanted into his chest) and noticed there were rubber gloves, purell and face masks on every surface of the medical building. Confidently, I told myself I was over being sick, and then half way through the appointment my cough reemerged with a vengeance and I coughed my way through the medical center. I hope I didn't get any old folks sick. Now I am back to hocking up juicy bits of what just might be lung tissue. (JK) I hate this. I am so over being sick. Tonight I am going to take some wives tale advice of my polish friend and put onion slices in socks on my heels and try to sleep like that. Too bad my sheets are clean because I have a feeling........ But wouldn't it be awesome if I woke up cured?!?!
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