Right now if you put me next to a non dairy (fell off the wagon last Sunday and paid for it with PAIN for 4 days) chocolate fountain with an unmeltable straw I would completely suck that fountain dry. I was going to say probably but you know this is not a probably situation. For sure I'd even manage to snarf down all of the gluten free dipping offerings, like strawberries and marshmallows and I hope pineapple, because sometimes chocolate alone is not enough!
Today at the dog park I found out that a woman I have known for years grows and sells pot. Trying not to let that revelation color my opinion on her. I mean, is she gutsy and cooler than I thought or stupid, OH MY GOD you could go to jail!! You see what I mean? I hope she doesn't get caught and I hope that this state legalizes it.
I've been carrying a bottle of dog shampoo around in my camera bag because sweet pea keeps rolling in things and the hose in the dog park is still on and I have been known to soap up/rinse her head,back and neck before allowing her into my vehicle. I was just heading for the hose when the dentist called to tell me that I was late for the appointment I thought was at 1:30 which was actually for 10:30 so I zipped over the dentist. I've been sporting a temporary fake tooth since last December and am finally getting it finalized in porcelain. The husband came to get stinking sweet pea from my car and ended falling in the dentist parking lot. He skinned a knee and an elbow. Idiot thought he could lift 55 pound sweet pea out of my back seat. WTF? Please dear universe and goddess of growing old with grace and dignity let me accept any future limitations which I may have and know when to ask for help. I can't believe he got away with only a skinned knee and elbow. Taking care of him really tests me. Every minute of every day. I yearn to scream.
Also, I went to my local office supply store, where I had been earlier in the week and was told by an employee that they could print me the XL postcards I wanted to take with me to the portfolio review next week. So, since the lady said they could even do it while I waited, I didn't rush back. Me and my preloaded thumb drive meandered in to the office supply store today, all tired and brain fuzzy because thanks to my special kind of head, I have been staying up late and waking up at 5AM for two days in a row. There was a line and I grabbed an office to chair to sit in while I waited in line. Another woman came in right on my tail and I told the guys behind the desk to take her first because I knew I was going to be there a while with my job and everyone was so freaking impressed by my generous gesture. I told them, Hey, we are all in this together and I have all the time in the world. Really, between you and me, I knew I had a big job and was going to be slightly fussier than most about the image quality, I'd be taking up some time there at the desk, I wasn't in the mood for anyone to give me the stink eye, and the woman looked to have a quick in and out kind of situation (which, she did) and it was actually no big deal Besides, that office chair had completely embraced my big old tired buns and I was perfectly content. So, after the woman who was technically after me went I was greeted warmly by the staff.
Tip of the day: when you're about to make the 20 year old office supply store employee print your image in three different densities on both the color printer and the dedicated black and white printer it pays to make him like you so much that he wishes that you were his cool friendly people loving mother- before you get demanding, in the sweetest way, of course. Also, smile a lot. Cliche, I know, but effective.
I totally befriended them. We showed each other our dog's pictures, I called his dog a cutie patootie, and by the end I was calling out, BYE Christian and Chris! See you guys tomorrow! as I strolled out the door. But, I'm getting ahead of myself. The girl from Monday lied to me! They could not make my XL postcards in one day. SO I went with regular size postcards, which can't be made in one day either, but I can pick them up tomorrow, which is comfortably 5 days before I leave for the portfolio review. After letting the lady who was technically after me go first I realized my cover as the chillest customer ever would be totally blown if I made a fuss, so I just let it all roll off my back. I was cool. Christian helped me make a business card, Chris advised me that it was fine to write "insta" instead of full out "instagram" and that anyone on instagram would totally know what I meant, and in the end, they were super sweet to me, and I was the nicest customer of the day right back and all of this, every single moment was all thanks to politics. This insane situation make me want to be so nice that no one can go nuts and open fire on me. Because really, at this point, aren't we all a little nuts? Everyone on both sides... coo coo for coco puffs.
The problem with being a morning person who hasn't been sleeping well is that there is no such thing as a second wind in the evening. I can actually say that barring a Venti beverage in the late afternoon I don't believe I can ever recall having a second wind in the evening.
Too bad too because I missed an opening of an MFA grad who lives not too far away from me tonight. I was totally going to go, but was distracted by my pit stench (I may have done some nervous sweating around the postcard production) and brain deadness. I'm assuming her show will be up for a while and will try to get there once this portfolio review is behind me.
I'm pretty freaking excited for the review. I'm really looking forward to it. It's been a while since I got to be all about me.
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