I got in a good shooting groove there for a couple of weeks and now I'm wondering if I lost it again. sigh. I was so close!! SOOOOO close.
I hate this summer. It has been the worst summer and as far as I am concerned it had no redeeming qualities at all. We didn't get good lightning storms, it was too cold to swim for most of it (ok, I might be wimpy about that) and BUGs, oh my goodness the bugs were horrible this summer.
Speaking of bugs, I was in the tiny dog park near my house and saw something I thought was kind of strange. It was swarms of dragon flies swooping around in circles over an open field. Now I have been told that they were eating the mosquitos, so I feel all grateful and tender towards the dragon flies, where as before I knew they were 'quito eaters, I was just like, "Why do these things land on my head when Im in the lake?!?!"
Things I hate: the sound of clapping, whistling in the house and chewing with your mouth open.
My stomach is messed up. Every day it feels like I'm brewing chunky kombucha in it. Is that even a feeling? A little like there is a nugget of nastiness in it. Even if I haven't eaten for so long that I've got rumbles, it still feels pretty freaking rotten. I'm a wee bit concerned a burned a hole through the stomach lining when I was pounding OTC painkillers back when my hip was on fire a couple of weeks ago. It never ends with me. I am tired of hearing myself.
Today I was recalling a time before Josh and I told the story of "back when I only had two kids" and it seemed so strange to think of myself as a mother of only two kids. I mean , was I even a mother with only 2? Did I know how incomplete I actually was? I do recall this feeling after Evan was born that I somehow had more of a legitimate family with 2 kids, rather than only 1. Hmmm. Who would I even be today if I had stopped with two kids? I can't even imagine my life without the sweetness of Josh in it. I guess I really define myself by being the mother of three kids, even though I must not talk about them as much as I feel like I do ( I just think about them 24/7) because people can not seem to wrap their heads around that 1. I am a mother and 2. I have 3 kids-- as if that number is so huge. Sometimes I say 3 and people look at me like I've said 23. I think I look rather mom-ish but maybe I don't... I have no idea. Maybe I just talk about photography so much that no one knows I can think about anything else.
Or they think I am so into dogs I can't relate to people! Because SWEET PEA!! The best dog in the world. I love her so much. She does not disappoint.
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