My life has trained me not to complain unless I can make it funny, which becomes a problem when I don't feel well. A few weeks ago I gathered the strength to call a new doc on someone's recommendation, and I went in to see her Tuesday. I started to cry because whining about how bad I feel feels so wrong to me and the entire experience was overwhelmingly frustrating. But I managed to get out my long list of complaints and she looked me right in the eye and without flinching said "You just described a text book case of Lyme's disease." Despite living in the epicenter of Lyme's I had not considered it.
She suggested I do a cleanse, which involves eating a super clean diet, some supplements and also a slew of blood tests. The nurse gave me a box and some papers and a card with the name of the lab. I knew I was supposed to go in with an empty stomach for the blood test. I so desperately want answers that I was prepared to go in the very next day, except Josh had some weird schedule going on at school and didn't have to be in until noon. I gave him the option of me driving to school or home from school (we can actually walk from our house) and he chose TO school, so I told myself to suffer and not eat the detox food all morning. I drove Josh to school, then drove straight to the lab, which is 28 minutes away, parked the car realized I had forgotten the box with the testing supplies, turned around drove back to the house, grabbed the box, and then drove back to the lab. I got there the second time at 1:30. I was HUNGRY. At this lab they told me that they only do the Lyme test and not the other tests the doc ordered, and they gave me a printout of other nearby labs I could go to. Except there was department store across the street I had planned on going to for a bat mitzvah outfit for lil sis's kid's bat mitzvah on the 12th. I decided I was about as hungry as I could get and I wasn't going to get more hungry so I shopped (to no avail) and then I went to the other lab with my box. Well, no one told me that there were ice packs that needed to be frozen in that mystery box with with which the lab technician was going to preserve my blood samples while I dash to the fedex store and have my blood overnighted to the place which is going to do the testing. Dammit. I couldn't do that test yesterday.
I returned to my car, full of my own blood and feeling defeated, at 3:30PM and ate my cold cleanse breakfast of oatmeal with apples and nuts and cinnamon. Then I ate my lunch meal at 5:50 and dinner at 7. Not sure if that messed up schedule made the cleanse less effective. It was only day one.
Today was day two. Josh had to be at school at 10 today so I went straight to the lab after dropping him and was eating my cold oatmeal (no apples today) and nuts by 11 while the lab technician centrifuged my blood samples. Luckily, fedex was pretty crowded and when they saw I had a pre-labelled box they just took it without asking me any trick questions, like they do at the post office. Any bio-hazardous liquids in this box young lady? Stuff like that.
I am somewhat terrified they are going to come back and tell me I have diabetes. After watching what the husband allowed diabetes to do to him the thought is terrifying. I think they are doing some kind of deeper probe into what makes me tick than the regular boring general blood test that the good doc does. I am quite interested in seeing if anything shows up with my thyroid. One of my complaints is that I feel this strange light pressure on my neck. You know the feeling when you put your shirt on backwards and you figure it out because you keep tugging at the fabric which is pushing ever so gently against your neck? I feel that way in forward facing v-necks. I end up tugging at the air. It's very strange and probably contributes to the crazy vibe I am giving off these days. Other than Lyme and thyroid I'm not sure what they are doing with the blood. All I know is that the second lab technician took so much that she asked me if I was feeling queasy or light headed. As if I would admit to that even if I did!
I had a fourth visit to the new chiro goddess of all that heals, and I told her about my broke ass. I determined by looking at a poster at the other chiro's office that what is hurting me is my piriformis muscles, which incase you aren't in the mood to google things, are two butt muscles that go from your hip to your lower spine. They cross right below the top of your butt crack, which in my case would be the exact two spots that were eggplant purple after I fell on the stairs last October and broke my butt. She did an amazing variety of things to me, one of which was those freaky TENS pads. (electrical stimulation) She attached one to each spot on either side where the bruises had been and one to each hip. Holy mother of all things living. That hip pad almost sent me through the roof, and this is coming from someone who likes that charge so high the new goddess of chiropractor things said I was "superhuman." I just hope it works. I am so tired of that pain back there.
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