Day 23. Feel like I could just give-up on food. Got some of the test results back today- but not the tick disease test. There was a screw up with the original blood sample and they did not test for tick diseases. Instead they tested for other things like gut permeability, which determined that I have a way too permeable gut (leaky gut syndrome) and this comes as no surprise since the good doc diagnosed that one years ago with some test where I drank an evil witches brew of artificial sweetener that was not supposed to cross my intestinal barrier and it all crossed over as evidenced by it all ending up in my 24 hour pee collection. That was a fun test!!
The good news is that my sugar levels are normal, the bad news is that I have too much insulin, which new doc thinks means insulin insensitivity (am I getting this right? I am too tired to be blogging) and not the fact that this blood was drawn after a 6 month long eating binge. I knew I couldn't be this fat forever and not have some kind of health issue. The other thing that needs to be corrected is my cholesterol, which will certainly be down from this sugar free (did you know that sugar raises cholesterol levels?) cleanse. New doc wants me to stay on this cleanse as long as possible, and to be honest, I feel like I can ride this wave for a while longer, especially because once I got over feeling completely ill from it I noticed that my thinking felt clearer and now I am even going to go as far as saying that I feel psychologically more grounded, and I haven't really done anything different besides this cleanse. You heard it here first folks, I feel less crazy, which is interesting to feel since I have always my entire life imagined myself to be the kind of person who becomes a batty old lady one day. (My personal narrative involved me walking around in some sort of tutu with a magic wand giving out home baked cookies to the neighborhood children who have been told by their parents it is okay to accept the cookies from me, the batty old lady of the neighborhood-also crooked red lipstick) I don't know who I am going to become if I don't go the coo coo for cocoa puffs route. I need a plan B.
The wheels are turning. Here is one plan B: I'll get thick funky glasses, grow my rapidly graying hair long, dress in long drapey black clothes (and clunky black orthopedic shoes) and become a street photographer, because the woods are no place for long drapey black clothes. At least the camera makers are making good cameras lighter and lighter. Now all they have to do is make digital look exactly like film. But I think this version of old lady might be a bit overdone, especially if you hang out in places like the Museum Of Modern Art. Damn you Georgia O'Keeffe! Everyone wants to look like you!
So, I'm going to stick to this cleanse longer than the 28 days it is meant to be for. I'm down with that. Also, I am totally going to cook in large amounts and do some freezing this weekend because then it is super easy to do.
I spent 2.5 hours sitting in the hall at Josh's school this evening. I finished Bossypants (Tina Fey) She really covered a lot of stuff in that book, which was interestingly about sexism as well funny and about her life. I feel like I can relate the sexism part more than ever since the wonderful world of photography is also a boy's club and some of the bullshit that goes down makes me want to puke. If I win the lottery I intend on evening the score.
This morning I walked sweet pea for almost 3 hours. Then I went back later on without her and with my camera. All in all my phone is telling me I walked over 15,000 steps, or over 7 miles today and that includes about 20 flights of stairs somehow. My legs are tired. But the new doc suggested I go back to the gym (after all this time I feel like I don't even know how!!) so I will, but this is going to be hard. I don't feel like I belong at this gym, which is technically The Y, and I'll have to suck it up for a bit and take some group classes to work out all the kinks and hopefully I can get back into half the shape and strength I had going on when I moved to this god forsaken new town.
The husband's brother has a funny name for this state. He calls it Connecticrap. Hahahaha. I'm going to fall asleep chucking over that one, because I am at that level of tiredness when I can just laugh myself silly over anything.
I have what I think is an exciting idea for a book/photobook series brewing in my head. I think I might want to trademark the title before I do anything about it though. I have one concern, which is that because there is such a heavy theme involved that the photography will not be taken seriously, but if it is a successful idea and opens doors for me, or even gives me half of my 15 minutes of fame then I think I am down with it. I'll keep you posted in a less nebulous way.
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