It's day 18. 10 days to go. I have no idea what I'm going to do after this cleanse. I'm hoping the doctor just hands me another cleanse because right now I feel like the best thing I can do is follow someone else's very strict plan. So, here is how the weight loss for the first 18 days went down. Steady loss of about a pound a day until day 10. Then NOTHING for 6 days. Now I'm down three more. The biggest victory? I've been wearing workout clothes or sweat pants all winter because I refuse to buy bigger pants. Today (out of laundry desperation) I reluctantly tried on a pair or jeans that had become leggings which cut off my circulation at the waist. AND THEY FIT!! They were comfortable enough that I wore them to take sweet pea to the woods and am even sitting here now typing away with them buttoned up! If my life was a broadway musical pulling on those jeans would have been a big all cast on stage breakout in song and dance moment. (That last sentence was inspired by seeing the high school student production last night)
Speaking of which, last night I took Josh to see the big high school play, the dance musical that he did not get cast in, but which afforded him the chance to audition for the student directed play for which he earned the leading role, so maybe a lucky defeat. None of my kids are sharers. When they do talk to me, it is not ever about their personal lives, even if I ask questions. One of my concerns about Josh was if he was making friends after transitioning from the tiny trailer park private school to the humongous public high school. Of course, I want to know that he is happy. His happiness is my bottom line and I believe that having friends is important. But he never mentions friends. Until last night! When we were on our way out of the theater two other young men who were sitting near us called him, grabbed him, threw their arms over his shoulders, introduced him to their mothers, and strolled down the hall with him. I'm so happy.
Okay, back to this cleanse. I find it fascinating that I didn't lose anything for that week especially since I calculated that I am not quite eating 1,000 calories a day. This does not come as a total surprise to me, however, since I am quite fond of trying to tell the doctor that I should be about 20 pounds overweight and not as overweight as I am. While I don't really want to hear that I have some kind of problem, I do feel that not losing weight while adhering to this cleanse is a gigantic red flag. My fingers are crossed that in those 27 gallons of blood I packaged up and fed-exed to some kind of lab for "deeper" testing there will be some results which further validate my beliefs.
In the mean time, I had another tooth yanked out exactly 4 days ago and I am in PAIN over here. I stopped myself when I realized that I was trying to strategize on how I am going to describe the pain to the dentist in order to be taken seriously. I suspect that other people sitting here in my pain/position right now would be phoning the doctor on his cell phone and demanding hardcore drugs. Part of what makes me so hard for people to understand is that I don't want to take the hardcore drugs. I just want some sympathy for the suffering. I got a stomach ache after taking too much of the prescription strength advil they prescribed me, so I am trying to minimize the tylenol I'm leaning on as well. I like my liver, folks, and I am aiming for a long lifetime relationship with it. So, yeah, suffering is the word of the weekend.
I think it might be related that when Matt was a baby and had an undiagnosed allergy to milk, I recall feeling completely overwhelmed and wiped out from caring for this child who never slept and pooped 12 times a day at least. (Thank god he was a happy baby!!) I told a group of other young mothers that I could not believe how much he pooped and they all agreed and said they couldn't believe how much poop comes out of baby too. Then they kind of seemed more overwhelmed than I felt and I just brushed it off. I kind of figured everyone was changing their baby every 2 hours too. Then Evan came along 4 years later and I was shocked to discover that digestively normal babies do not poop a dozen times a day. Then I realized that those wussy mothers who all said it was wearing them out had babies who pooped 3 times a day and I wished I could go back in time and slap them all. Everyone loves to complain. Which I suspect is why I feel like I am never taken seriously. I save my complaining for you guys, and am totally self conscious about complaining out loud and since so many people just complain away without even reason to complain my gentle hinting and problems might not even register for most people. Even now, the entire right side of my face is screaming out in pain, (despite the tylenol I took an hour ago) and I am feeling ashamed for being a big whiny baby because someone somewhere has it worse than me. I gotta figure this one out.
I'd like to end on a good note here. The tick I pulled out of my boob last week did not test positive for Lyme disease.
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