phase

In the world of "I'm going through a complaining phase" I will now commence complaining about my back. It hurts, again and beyond usual. I'm pretty sure there is one disc that is in prime position for a total slippage because this morning when I tried to do a pelvic role to release pressure I felt it pinch off and then unpinch again. Now I am kind of afraid to move. I did snarf down some advil, but that isn't going to solve anything. Neither is the pain killer hoard I have going on since people just love to prescribe to me what I refuse to take. It's kind of funny to me how every time I say shit like "Just give me three pills. I'm not going to use it more than the next two or three nights just to get to sleep" They don't believe and they give me weeks worth and now I have enough to kill a horse in assorted different prescription bottles, and in a world where I gave less of a fuck than the the bare fuck I am giving right now at this very second I would completely narc up and live in a pill popping haze for the foreseeable future.

I am so tired of being pain somewhere that I ordered hemp CBD oil off of the internet. I tried to ask Evan if he knew anything about it, but he kept telling me I'd have to move to colorado to get real cannabis CBD and that isn't going to happen, so I just tried to find something legal, hemp and that seemed reputable and figured in the worse case scenario I'll be taking snake oil. In the best case scenario it will be a magic anti-inflammatory and also do something about this freaky possibly allergy induced state I am in thanks to my autoimmune malfunction, which makes me allergic to everything on the planet including horses. (Which still seems completely unlikely to me). The upside I am hoping for is that it seems to help anxiety disorders, and I can't tell if I have legitimate anxiety from living with a husband in such poor health or if I might be tipping the scales into the over the top range. In either case, anxiety is supposed to be managed by CBD oil, so that could be the best side effect, after massive weight loss, that I could ask for.

I'm not the only one feeling less than 100% these days. I noticed that sweet pea was having some curious urinating behaviors so I brought a pee sample into the vet. They called me this morning to tell me it had red blood cells in it (must have had a lot because the vet asked if her urine had been pink tinged). I brought sweet pea to the park where she was less than enthusiastic about wrestling with her friends, and then went to the vet to pick antibiotics. We are going to treat for a bladder/uti infection and see if that helps. On the way home I stopped at the drive through car wash and had a good chuckle over sweet pea's response from the back seat. She was sitting bolt upright and looking everywhere. When I took her out of the car she was wet. I hoped it wasn't urine and that some how there had been ice clinging to her scant butt fur. But then 15 minutes later the cleaning lady walked in and sweet pea left a little puddle on the floor. The good news is that if it is a UTI then she is one dose closer to being cured. The worrisome news is that it could be things way worse than a UTI and I am not going to find out until I give her a week's worth of antibiotics and retest that urine. Hopefully she will not pee in the house too many times before we solve this mystery.