Once I adopted the attitude of "I don't care how much sheeeeeet the universe tosses my way I am going to sail through it all." I slipped on the stairs and broke my ass. Tailbone to be more precise, but nevertheless, incredibly painful has taken on a whole new dimension in ass pain.
Because I am "clumsy" (as the pretty-much-useless-on-broken-ass-pain new town chiropractor put it when I admitted that I am the kind person who really needs to focus when she does every day things like walk down stairs) I have first hand knowledge of the healing process of a broken ass. You see, dear readers I broke my ass one time before, but it was long ago (gasp!) before this blog existed, in a dark time before the internet was convenient, when I used to do stuff like call catalog 800 numbers and chat with real people while purchasing old lady (sorry, lands end) catalog clothes. As a matter of fact, the last time I broke ass I was carrying baby Evan down the basement stairs in stepford, and that was when I decided that I was pushed by a ghost, probably of a dead person buried in the basement by the mafioso gangster we purchased the house from. I avoided the basement after that. I also avoided the basement because as a (previous to moving to stepford) life long apartment dweller basements and attics give me the heebie jeebies anyways.
This is what I remember from my first ass breaking
1. it takes forever to not be painful
2. there will no sit ups in my immediate 5 year future
3. even when I completely forget about the pain as if it is all gone, I will do something (like go down a playground slide because I am the goofy mom) and the pain will fire back up and bring me to tears.
also
4. Yoga and sweat pants are now my indefinite uniform because nothing can touch the area of my upper butt crack without causing THE PAIN.
And you know what? Hahahaha universe, joke is on you because this broke ass is not going to hold me back! I will just keep rolling forward cause that's what I do.
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