I feel icky and I really want to take a bath in my old stepford bathtub. I got that bathtub when I was pregnant with Josh and thinking I'd have a water birth (I did) I opted for the biggest freaking bathtub I could find. This bathtub, was so luxurious that when the kids were little, and they wanted baby Josh to get into the tub with them, I could pile all three of them and me too into it (because someone had to hold baby Josh)
I think the best thing about that humongous (we had to buy a second water heater to fill it) bathtub was that I could lie in it and not touch the sides.
In my new town house there is long thin bathtub and it isn't comfortable. First, it is too long, so I slide down even if my legs are straight and second it is too thin so my arms touch the cold sides of it. Also, if I need to add more scalding hot water to the tub because I've been in it for long enough for the three cups of water surrounding my body to cool off there his no where for me to put my legs so they don't get burned from the new water addition. This leaves me to conclude that I am going to have to buy a hot tub. It's only logical. I long for a hot tub (especially at the lake) and I even know the perfect spot for it.
The pressure of my next session is really beginning to hit home. At any given moment I could pretty much puke. Which is unfortunate and unnecessary and I'm thinking not the way it should be. Even my friend who is leagues ahead of the rest of us, having completed her photography and working on her sequencing, is having anxiety attacks. I am shaking my head in disbelief. I recall going to Y@le and hearing the grad student talk about how burned out he was and how he wasn't going to pick up a camera for the entire summer after finishing and I thought to myself that it shouldn't be that way! I thought he should leave energized and brimming with ideas! I was naive back then. I hadn't been through this process where the objective is to bring us to our knees and begging for mercy.
Like I said, I am feeling icky.
I've commandeered the dining room and have been printing like a mad woman. But I'm not sure why since I really have the best of my work already printed out. It's just easier to tell what is better if I can hold it rather than see it not he computer screen. I also reserved the tremendous library conference room for Monday and am going to use that table to lay out all of my work and try to figure out another sequence that doesn't look just like the first sequence in which the work was deemed to all look alike. That kind of makes me annoyed and I am tempted here to refer to the people who said my work all looking the same as mother fuckers. I don't think they looked hard enough, mother fuckers.
Icky.
I really hate three day weekends because I can get so much accomplished when no one is around but not when the world's laziest family is all lounging close by with an unwatched television blabbering in the background. BTW, there is something about the completely artificial way that sports announcers speak which makes me want to pull the skin off of their faces. Anything to make them stop. I can't believe women want in on that field. It's the downfall of humanity. A tragedy in the making.
Icky. Icky.
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