I've been putting way too much energy into not letting the weather (or more precisely: ongoing winter weather) get me down. But I just NEED to see the ground again for my photo project. Really, I need leaves and dirt. Snow is not cutting it. Also, I am so tired of being cold. I'd like to put away the hats and gloves until next fall. I am beyond ready.
In the mean time, I went to visit Matt at Hipster College. I have concerns about his lack of future plans. He really wants to go to Russia but the girlfriend (the one I like, maybe a bit too much) told him she was not interested in a long distance, let alone, intercontinental relationship. SO he just gave up on his dreams, which completely bums me out. I want him to have both. I wish I didn't like this girlfriend so much so I could at least push him hard to go to Russia. I actually have been polling people and every single one thinks he should go to Russia. But I don't want Matt to turn around and blame me for losing the love of his life if I push too hard. Pretty much my stance with his has been THIS IS YOUR CHANCE and YOU WILL NEVER AGAIN BE AS YOUNG AND FREE AS YOU ARE NOW, so you guys have to find a way to make it all work out. Because my baby gets to have his cake and eat it too. Also, I wish I could tell the girlfriend that boyfriends as incredible as Matt don't just come along any day so she should lay the fuck off his dreams and make it work, until he decides otherwise. Because you know, I am 100% Team Matt, forever.
After returning from my trip to Hipster College, where even I, a life long heterosexual began to wonder about my own sexuality (Just kidding! What is happening with these kids??? How are so many of them in in between places?) I had a day of rest and then I was off to utopia, where the sewer pipe had frozen over but the lovely town sewer guy had hooked up a temporary tank to the driveway clean out pipe, which was before the frozen part so I could host my little get together with some school friends who were staying with me over the two day workshop. Guess which one of us didn't poop the whole time because knowing the potty water was sitting in a big transparent plastic tank on the back of a pick up truck in my driveway is as unmotivating as anything I can imagine, including eating three pounds of cheese or living off of matzoh. (Get it? Those things cause constipation!) Also, 90 second showers are not my thing. Those I did anyway. We were in a tight little classroom for two days and I did not want to offend. As soon as that baby defrosts I am taking a candle lit lavender scented bath.
The purpose of the two day workshop was for us students to present a book dummy of our work. In a most frustrating hour long turn of my own, the program director said I had strong work but it looked too much alike and I should shake it up a bit. Then he and the visiting photographer suggested some technical stuff, which got me quite excited, but I was also disappointed at the same time because I was hoping they would shout that I was brilliant and my work was completed. But, pulling on my big girl panties, I came back to new town, woke up the next morning and went out to shoot for a few hours, until I could barely see straight. Then I did the same thing the next day. And I am planning on doing the same thing this afternoon, as soon as the blazing sun gets lower in the horizon. It's interesting how I can not shoot all day long. I just concentrate too hard to sustain for long periods of time. 3 hours is my total max, 2.5 is pushing it. Anyways, I think I got a couple of photo winners, it's trickier and a different way of seeing now with this new technique, so I need to be out there a lot in the upcoming weeks. In the end I should have all my work completed before I leave for Berlin on April 15th, except I am taking Evan to Colorado to see some colleges the weekend before Berlin, so I actually have less shooting time, and that is called BAD FUCKING TIMING. Also, "Thanks for not letting me take you to colleges when it was less inconvenient for me, Evan!" I'm pretty sure there would not be a convenient time for me to ever get an MFA until all three kids were out in the world on their own, but still... I started bugging him about this over a year ago when he was a junior. Just saying.
One big question I am mulling about in my mind these days is if I can combine the new photo work I am doing right now with some of the older work I did last fall. Differences include black and white vs color and single image vs triptych. But in the end I feel like the work all has the same reverence for the land and the light so they really translate the same for me. I'm going to do what ever the program powers suggest I do, then I am going to get my diploma and celebrate the hell out of the entire month of August. Graduation is August 8th, and my fingers are crossed that I am up early in the defending of my thesis process because I would way rather get it over with than wait and worry. By the time I get there I will just want to get it over with. There are 139 days between today and August 8th.
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