So, sweet pea unintentionally tried to commit suicide the other day. And by "unintentionally" I mean she partially ate one of those oxygen free packets out of some sweet sriracha uncured bacon jerky Evan had been enjoying the night before. Who knew dogs liked sriracha?
So, it was about 7:40 in the morning when I spotted the suspicious looking packet between her paws, and I immediately called the vet, who doesn't getting in until 8 but left the number of the animal emergency room on her machine. I called the emergency room and (you know, just in case I'm holding my broken dog in my arms) I got a slow talking automated machine which told me that the charge for phone advice was $65 and was I ready with my credit card. For real!! I hung up and figured I'd wait to 20 minutes until the real vet opened.
So, in the mean time, I decided to do a little internet research, where I found out that there are three basic things that those little packs are made of, one is completely benign, one is not good for your pup but nothing to totally freak over and the third thing is iron shavings, let's have a total meltdown!! I took solace in that my packet insides did not appear to be iron colored , but black like the completely benign charcoal packs. Just in case I waved a magnet over the drool covered chewed pack remnants and Mother F$*#&ER!! That pack practically levitated up to the magnet.
But in the mean time, I had decided that sweet pea was going to be fine because anything else was UNTHINKABLE.
So, I called pet poison control from the car while driving Josh to school and they (after putting me on hold for ten minutes and calling the company to find out what was in their packets) told me that I had to give set pea peroxide to make her toss the packet contents and then milk of magnesia for two days to get any digested part of it out of her as fast as possible. So, I said "Will she just drink the peroxide up? How do I give it to her?" and the lady on the other end chuckled a little and said to do it with a turkey baster. I told the pet poison control lady that I wanted to do it right because sweet pea was not the kind of pet you let get poisoned. It took me a while to wonder if the poison control lady thought I was the kind of person who might poison some pets, just not the one who ate the OxyFree pack.
Now everyone knows that turkey basters are for artificial insemination, and not puppy medication, so I asked the pharmacist for medicine syringes and she totally hooked me up. DUH! Pet poison control lady! Then I went to fetch some milk of magnesia and there were choices! How the hell was I supposed to know if puppies liked artificial cherry or artificial mint flavor better? Then I remembered how the kid's pediatrician once told me that the scent of mint on our breath was strange and distasteful to an indigenous person who uses excrement as a hair gel so I went with artificial cherry.
I brought sweet pea outside, loaded up my syringe grabbed the leash and totally took her by surprise shooting a tablespoon down her throat which she swallowed. Then about 90 seconds later, I heard the horrible sound, the sound every mother in the world sleeps with one ear pointed towards in her kids in fear of hearing, I heard the glug glug glug of a stomach warming up to hurl. And then she hurled up all of breakfast kibble coated in little black iron specks. But were outside so I didn't care and was even joyous thinking that she probably hurled it all up and wondering if I needed to really give her the artificial cherry flavored milk of magnesia. I decided that even though SWEET WAS GOING TO BE FINE AND NOTHING BAD CAN HAPPEN TO MY SWEET PEA that I would just play along like I was really worried after all and go the course with the milk of magnesia. Hello gray -blue liquid poops! I guess some of the iron did not get hurled up in the three little piles of black speckled puppy kibble after all.
And it went down like that for two whole days. Until today, today sweet pea did not require milk of magnesia and her poops are still hot liquid, but now they are kibble colored like nature intended.
And guess who has giardia now! The day of the packet incident I had dropped off a sample to make sure she was cleared of the other two parasites she had come with and she is clear of those but .... So, it's another round of medication for my baby. Poor thing. But last least I know why she is so skinny!! I wonder of she is parasite free for any length of time if she'll fill out at all. All this time I've been saying she a lab/something skinny mix, but maybe she has parasite induced anorexia. Some dogs have all the luck!
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