I lied to someone today. She asked me how old my kids are and I said 22.18 and 14. But their birthdays don't happen until February , March and April. It made me feel so OLD. 22 and 18???? 14 is isn't even kid age anymore!!
Oh my gawd. Also, the grays in my side burns are getting pretty serious. I can even see the lightness with my glasses off and I can't see a thing closer than 4 feet without my glasses.
On a positive note, I have been working out and meditating. The working out part is pretty easy because I have been there and done that but the religiously meditating part is new for me. Turns out I am pretty decent at meditating. Not a surprise since I am so easy to hypnotize, and am quite sure that the two are similar enough. I can't meditate in the new town Y sauna, like I used to try to do in the stepford posh club sauna (but normally ended up chatting away with the anorexic club member, remember??) because the acoustics in the new town Y ladies locker room are insane and every time I try to shut my eyes in the sauna there are women with hawk screeching voices whining away about something mundane either in the shower or by the makeup mirrors and it's as if they have megaphones aimed at my head. It's a sad situation. Also, the women of new town seem to think there is some benefit to putting lotion (or some kind of body oil in one case) on in the sauna so it's a revolving door of freshly showered moisturizing rich ladies. Not relaxing. Don't even get me started on the TWO brilliant sauna lights shining in there like lighthouse beacons. (My turn to whine. Whhhhhhy??)
What I have been doing mostly is meditating in my car. I try to get it done in the morning so that I don't have to fight the urge to fall asleep. After 2 in the afternoon it is no small victory if I stay awake. But I have ben able to pull it off. My secret is to not lean my head back on the head rest. That would a recipe for instant nap. I just do it right in the front seat. It's a good place to meditate because apparantly I like small enclosed places. Maybe I was a pet hamster in a previous life. Luckily no one has seen me meditating and thought I was dead or passed out and tried to help me. I remember once when I was pregant with Josh little Evan was sleeping in his car seat so I decided to take my own nap in the front seat once I was safely parked in the strip mall parking lot. I woke up to flashing lights. Someone thought I was dead and called the cops.
I miss stepford. I drove in yesterday to have a holiday lunch with my babes. During lunch the subject of holiday cards came up and I admitted that I wasn't going to send any cards out again this year. Noone even realized I hadn't sent one last year. Out of sight out of mind? I think maybe. Also, no one ever asks me anything about school, and I feel neglected about that. I'm doing this tough, demanding thing and I would hope that they'd be a tiny little bit interested, but nope. I dunno. It's weird.
Speaking of school, the stress this year is incredible. I'm not sure how much of it is a product of being a second year student and how much is having a different (not easy to talk to) advisor. I think it's both. I have an advisor skype tomorrow. I have to try to be less whimpy and more passionate. Did I tell you that the program director told me that I come off as cavalier? These guys don't get me at all.
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