Every day I wake up and count how many days its been since I had the vet put bear bait to "sleep". I'm still feeling guilty about making that choice even though after the worst of the grieving wore off I realized the severity of the downward spiral she had been on. I can't even use the phrase "she died" because I do feel bad about killing her.
In the mean time I am in Berlin with my MFA program. There is some weird high school like social dynamic going on in the group and this saddens me deeply. We have the opportunity here to learn so much from each other and not everyone is playing nice. If I ran a group I would make cohesiveness a priority. I just can't stop thinking about how much we are missing out on by being divided.
Speaking of being divided, last night after being coerced by our director to have a drink together after classes everyone ended up eating bar food. I can't eat bar food so I slipped out with my foodie friend and we went to a Michelin rated restaurant. I had huge white asparagus and sauerbraten . I'm pretty over German food right about now. I am longing for things that are poached and steamed.
I like this city more than I imagined I would. Mostly I like the architecture and how everywhere you turn there is a playground. Even in the cemeteries. Also, Germans seem to have remarkably well behaved dogs. I've only seen one on a leash, the rest just walk calmly down the sidewalk with their owners. Those are my kind of dogs.
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