clickmom

soother

Bear Bait came back from the dog sitter and we've had long loving walks together.  For a minute I thought she was going to try to leave with him again.  I guess she had a good time!  I've been taking her to the park, and I think she doesn't like walking on the frozen snow patches, so she pretty much just follows me along as I walk with my new spike boot covers along on the beaten down iced over trails of the brave walkers that have all been there all winter while I have been hiding in front of the fire whimpering about the single digit temperatures.  Monday was awesome because it was in the 30's but Tuesday and today were hovering aorund 20 and that is cheek freezing temperatures for my chubby cheeks, so not so thrilled about that.  The temperatures are going to fall again starting tomrrow and it's going to be everything I can do to force myself out of the house.  Also, this weekend we might have another big storm.  Naturally, it is predicted for Sunday night into Monday and the kids have already gone over their allotment of snow days, so snow days are not as fun knowing they are all just being exchanged for the April vacation at this point. Not that we had anything planned for April, but at this rate I might need Evan aroudn the house to pick away at the ice remains next April.  It's been such a dreadful winter I can hardly even imagine spring right now. I'm trying to think about what a flower smells like and I am drawing a blank.

My shrink got a new dog and she had it in the office when I went there today and I offered to hold it and she thought it would whine for her.  I told her dogs love me and she reluctantly put him in my arms.  He was fine.  I am the dog soother.  I'd call myself the whisperer but bear bait isn't well trained enough for me to go anywhere near that claim.  Dogs do like me though. I have dog magic.

In other news, I photographed a lake neighbor yesterday, and I showed those photos along with the series I have been doing on the husband to my advisor today and he was intrigued and gave me the green light to continue working on both projects.  His enthusiasm and approval was interesting because when I told him I wanted to juggle more than one project to produce more work, he was hesitant.  They really don't want you to work on more than one project, (not sure why) but as I explained to him, I wanted to work more and my husband just wasn't available enough (that pesky job of his got in the way!) and also he has been complaining here and there and I am not about forcing myself on anyone.  Okay, maybe I can be a little forceful, but I needed a back up plan because I can't work with someone who is completely uncooperative.  I HATE complaining more than anything.  It makes me want to stab my ear drums out, it's a form of whining if you ask me.  It should be illegal.  I guess my talents lie more in photographing people than in landscapes.  I'll have to spend some time thinking about that, because landscape photography makes me so happy.  I did so some of that also during the last couple of weeks and my advisor thought those photos were sad and lonely.  My first instinct was to remind him that he was living through this winter too, but I just mumbled something about that being interesting.  I'll probably still take landscapes in my free time, I'll just keep them to myself for now.

shoeing

Last week Josh and I discovered snoeshoeing.  Now, while I say "Josh and I" I really should admit that Josh found the experience somewhat tolerable, I however, threw my hands in the air and declared February to be tolerable now!  How did I end up with such indoor type children?

So, after a seriously snowy winter, I discover shoe shoeing, feel like it is the snswer to my seasonal affective disorder depression and today it was 54 degrees outside.  Tomorrow's high is 49, and I would be thrilled if the polar vortex wasn't about to slip back down and freeze the 3 feet of snow it is currently melting. Can one successfully snow shoe on a big fat layer of ice?  Grumble.  I also bought spikes to put on my boots, but I'd much rather snow shoe than penguin walk with spikes on my feet for ice.

Bear bait has been with the dog sitter for a week, first when Josh and I went to Florida and then when we went to utopia (because I was nervous about taking her snoe shoeing on the lake with such deep snoe drifts) but she's coming home tomorrow.  While she was gone I stripped the couches of their covers and laundered them, three times.  There was much filth and hair in those covers.  It's kind of nice not to have a couch that has dog stink on it.  Also, it's been nice to be able to go to bed early or stay in bed late with out having to let someone out.  Also, it's been nice to eat a meal without someone drooling on my foot.

But what has not been nice about being dogless is not having someone to go out with me.  One thing about bear bait is that sheis always enthusiastic about going out with me.  I miss the great outdoors, even though these days I've been so fearful of breaking my neck on the ice that I barely walked her the past couple of weeks.

Tomorrow Evan comes home from his 9 day trip to a third world area where he built houses for people who don't have houses.  Last February when he did this he came back with an expanded mind.  I hope this trip is a good thing for him too.  I'm happy that this year he'll do something that is directly helping individuals.  I think it'll give him an even bigger appreciation of their lives and ours. 

 

activity

Yesterday I woke in Florida.  Today I woke up under 3 blankets and it was 7 degrees outside.  But when the SNOW stopped falling Josh and I got to go out for our first ever for both us SNOW SHOEING expedition and folks, I just might like winter again!! That was fun and I could do it more often, so I am definitely going to leave the snow shoes in my trunk because my current shrink mentioned to me that she goes snow shoeing in the park by her office when she has some free time and thats where I walk bear bait!  Now, this might not be the optimal walking conditions for dogs, but bear bait still wants to walk and I am prepred to lather her paws up with greasy ice deflecting substances in order to get some snow shoeing time under my belt.   I need to be outside more and this winter has me seriously down in the dumps.

Yeah, so Florida was much needed and totally amazing.  Esecially since we hitched that ride on the private jet.  When we got back on to the jet to come back up North I made crying sounds and every one thought I was being so funny, but I wasn't completely joking.  In Florida Josh and I went to a boat show and toured some yachts.  I'm pretty sure I couldn't do that kind of life.  Even if I won the biggest lottery ever tomorrow it would just be too rich (and too idle) for me.  But I am somewhat fascinated by the whole life style.  A yacht owner was talking to me about the boat making a transatlantic voyage to summer in europe and I said I thought that the two week ride out there could be very soothing and a good time to decompress.  The yacht owner said they would never stay on the boat for the voyage.  They would send the staff out there on the boat and fly out in their private jet and meet the boat in Europe.  It's like the boat was a travelling private hotel.  There are just some things I don't really understand.  When we first moved to the suburbs I said to thehusband that we'dneed to buy a lawn mower and he laughed at me and told me that he'd hire someone to mow the lawn.  I must have been a farmer in a previous life because I really think a person should be part of where they are, I feel like it's weird not to participate in your own surroundings.  Maybe that is why I liked snow shoeing so much today. With out snow shoes I would not have been able to make my way around utopia this afternoon.

lucky me

Just survived a huge 20 minutes of sheer and utter panic.  

I can't really complain about this because it is totally a first world- 1% problem, but for a while there I thought that perhaps Evan's passport was in utopia and I would have to hop in my new craptastic slip sliding vehicle and go there to fetch it because Evan is leaving tomorrow for a charity house building trip and he needs his passport.  I searched everywhere I would have put it in this house and then I had one last idea, which was it was in the orange purse I had used all summer and tossed into the corner when fall came and I dragged my worn old comfort black winter purse back out.  I couldn't check right away because I was in the middle of making dinner but as soon as I got everything out of the oven I yelled at the men to help themselves, dashed upstairs, (so upset that I had to run to the bathroom and get a little sick first) and found my orange summer purse in the corner where I tossed it last September, poured out a summer's worth of small change and receipts, a paperback I never finished, mints, tissues and gum and there was Evan's passport, which I figured was important enough to bring back to new town, but not critical enough to put back into the safe with the others.  

I was so upset, because it's been snowning most of the day here and right now we are between snow storms, and I was going to jump into the car and hope that the roads were plowed and that could make it there and back before the next round of pounding wet snow hit.  I called the sentry who told me our utopian driveway hadn't been plowed yet, and I was imagining myself parking at the end of the driveway and having to trudge through the foot of snow which has already fallen for the 150 yards or so that the driveway is long.  

But, whew.  Somewhere in my frazzled space cadet head I had the common sense to bring the passport back with us.  Like I said;  I recognize how fortunate I am to have problems like these.  

Also, today was obviously a snow day since we've been blessed with another round of incredible snow.  I love the snow, if only the snow didn't bring all the ice with it, I'd stop complaining.  Yesterday we had a very windless day, I got fooled and thought it had gotten warm out, so I took bear bait for a long walk in the afternoon, except after a while I realized my light weight gloves and hat weren't quite cutting it and I checked the local temperature on my phone and it was 21 degrees out.  Crazy that this season has been so brutal that 21 seems warm to me now!  That being said, if I never experience single digit temperatures again I am okay with that!! 

I have more luck to report but I am reluctant to share this because it is just too good to be true.  Josh and I are hitching a ride on a very nice person's personal jet and going to Florida for a few days.  It'll be a miracle if I can drag myself back onto the plane to come back to cold and snow.  I feel like such a dope for ever rolling my eyes at my parents over being "snow birds" since it is the most appealing thing that I can think of right now!!  

luxury

The other day I had Josh and a friend in tow and we met the husband for dinner.  As we were finishing up the husband asked Josh and the friend who they'd like to ride back to the house with.  The friend looked at Josh and Josh explained "Well, would you like to ride in love or luxury?"  I was flattered to be the love ride.  

I have to make my reservations for our spring semester session destination , which is Germany and I am ashamed to say that for 25 years the husband has taken care of all travel plans and I merely travelled happily (this is a blatant lie if you've ever seen me all stressed out and blowing green steam through my ears before leaving for every a trip) along remaining blissfully unaware of the ins and outs of making travel plans.  Also, I'd really like to go in style but I'm cheap and holy shit are first class tickets ridiculously expensive!!!!  I almost fainted.   Now I'm thinking about how much camera stuff I could buy with the difference.   I wish I wasn't so cheap.

 

boob sniffing

On Yahoo I read a story about a reluctant dog owner whose puppy wouldn't stop smelling at one part of her boob so she rubbed it and found a lump.  This saved her life.  Awesome dog, right?  Bear bait will not smell my boobs.  You know me people, I tried.   I'm not sure if my less than industrial non pore clogging herbal deodorant doesn't do enough of a job to allow her face to get close to that area or if I'm in the clear or if bear bait is just not a skilled boob sniffer and I better go for a womanly check up.  Better schedule my womanly check up.   That dog!!

In the mean time Josh reports that one of his classmates wants to exchange mothers with him.  I am so flattered.  Josh wil lhave nothing of it.  Thank goodness!! 

Tomorrow I get my stitches out.  Not a minute too soon as I actually had a hand cramp today becasue I realize that I have my thumb in a permanent defensive sticking out and away position to protect it from me, who is way more left handed than I ever realized.  I'd say the average times per day I have smashed the inside stitched part of my left thumb since getting stitches 9 days ago is 4.5 times a day.  And very time it hurts so much it brings tears to my eyes.   I'm hoping that getting the stitches out will reduce the tenderness the area still has.  As if cutting my flesh down to the bone isn't the reason for all that tenderness!  I kid myself.  I'm such a funny girl.

Evan is off to a weekend of debating.  I feel bad for the other side.  Evan is ruthless.  Very strange having only one kid home.  I don't realize how many times a minute I take stock of my kids where abouts,  do a mental head count, and then ask myself again who needs to be where and when.  Life is simpler with only one birdie in the nest.

 

starting over

After Josh's bar mitzvah this past weekend the kids had a snow day on Monday and another one today.  I no longer know if I'm coming or going or what day it is or even what time it is.  Can I have a weekend please?  Evan is going on a school related weekend trip this weekend.  I'll have only one kid with me.  Upside down.  Turn turn turn

In other news, I watched The Biggest Loser finale last night and was shocked at the ematiated contestant who ended up winning.  The husband accused me of having issues about other people's weight because he likes to call himself fat and I tell him he's crazy, and today I am OH SO VINDICATED because it is all people are talking about (after the snow situation) on television.  BTW, The last time I was 105 pounds I was in fifth grade.  I'd be so happy to weight 175.

I did get pretty carried away with all the before and after images and joined some kind of 8 week program.  I checked it out on my computer and it starts on my birthday, which seemed to me to be a sign that I should participate and begin this process of being reborn starting on my birthday.  Will I follow the plan?  I plan on it.  I'm going to see if I can get a friend to do it with me.  Or I will have to pretend that Dolvett is my new bestie.

success

Josh's bar mitzvah was fabulous.  He was great up there in the bima.  His speech was adorable, he read torah well enough but then he read his mega long haftorah like a freaking professional.   A few minutes in I could see his confidence build and the longer he read the more relaxed and his beautiful voice started to come out and he really sang some parts.  He went on and on (he had a seriously long portion) and sang for about 20 minutes straight.  He was remarkable. I was so proud.  

The party was terrific too.  There were a few glitches, a couple of no shows, Pal had some kind of car trouble (water mixed in with his gas) and didn't make it, and worst of all my very ill brother in law sat down a bench which then collapsed.  He was hurt, but too stubborn to get checked out.  Don't know the extent of his injuries.   They might involve a rib.  But other than those too things, it was really fun.  We had the same DJ from Evan's bar mitzvah because we knew he did a great show back then.  And he still does.  The food was delicious, at least the grown up food was, I'm not sure what went on with the kids food, but there was some kind of deep fried mac and cheese ball that I thought sounded like a kid win which I think didn't go over so well.  Josh keeps referring to it.  But there was dancing for hours and that makes Josh happy and me too.  I danced so much I think I wore out the balls of my feet.  I thought I was wearing small enough heels to get by, but when you don't wear heels ever, you shouldn't dance for hours in any heels, no matter how small. Lesson learned. 

I think I killed a pair of spanx that night.  They were doing some serious lump control when I jammed myself into them and walked out the door but when I got home they were waiving a white flag and just kind of slipped off.  It seems that nothing can defeat my bulges.  I might have to have a spanx funeral.  

My bandaid stayed on, so that was a relief.  My thumb finally unswelled enough that I can bend it again.  That feels good.  Also, the tip is not numb anymore.  That is comforting too.  It still hurts if I press in my nail, and I am not sure why.  The stitch closest to my nail has come unknotted but it is still threaded through my skin.  The other stitches, due to the lack of swelling , are loose and raise up above the incision.  I'm pretty sure they could be removed today but I've been instructed to keep them in for ten days so I am going to wait until Friday.  The other reason I'm waiting until Friday is because the doctor who put them in will be on call Friday and I liked her.  

I always just love love love a snow day but today I was happy when I thought I'd be able to get everyone off and spend some quiet time with myself.  Guess what!!  Snow day!! It was necessary though.  We got about ten inches.  I ordered new snow boots since the ones I've been wearing gave out on me and are no longer repelling water (COLD FEET).  I hope they at least show up tomorrow because Wednesday we are in for even more snow.  Also, if it ever stops snowing long enough I hope to bring the old boots back to the store because I just bought them last fall.  I was expecting more than half a season's use out of them.

Today is grandma's birthday.  She would have been 102.  That's a scary thought.  I'm pretty sure she's been around me lately I had a freaky dream where she was beside me throwing candy at Josh after his bar mitzvah.  They don't do that at our synagogue but in some places they do it and it is a wish for a sweet life.  Grandma was young and sharp in my dream.  I think people are back to being in good shape once they cross over.  It seemed so unreral because she was there and young but so real.  She was the kind who really loved a good party.