clickmom

fabulous

So, Josh told me the other day that his religious school teacher told him that he made her job worthwhile.  She said she looked forward to teaching him every week and was going to miss him and she hoped he'd come back.  They want the kids to finish off the year, but I'm pretty sure it ain't going to happen.  We'll fill that time slot with something much more enjoyable.  But as a mom I am now head over heels in love with that teacher, because anyone who thinks my kid is special gets elevated to a whole new dimension.  Also, Josh is pretty fabulous and all the smartest people know it, so I'm really appreciative that his teacher was so enlightened .

Now back to me, I have to take my bandage off tonight and I'm a little nervous.  I don't want to see it.  I wish I could just keep the bandage on until the 10 days are over and I get the stitches out.  On the plus side,  it stopped throbbing this afternoon.

ouchy

You now how sometimes a girl can get all worked up about something and the tension builds and builds and then finally something big happens to put life back into perspective?  Guess who just came home from urgent care with four stitches in her thumb!  Which was actually a good thing because I was about out of my mind with freaking out over Josh's bar mitzvah.  I'm not worried or anything, it's just that there is a lot to keep track of.  But I was totally overboard and then I laughed all the way home because I was remembering Josh falling into the trash can this summer.

Evan was a real hero when it happened we were alone in the house and I called to him and he ran over and when he saw the blood he offered to take me to urgent care and he drove me there, even though the urge to faint from the pain had passed.  He also sat in the room with me while they shot me full of sweet sweet painkiller, marvelled at how much one thumb can bleed, and very carefully sewed the most tidy little 4 stitches into my thumb and topped that off with a tetanus shot.  Then Evan drove me home.  My boy is cool under pressure, I can tell you that.  Right now if you told me there was goign to be an emergency and I could choose one family member to be home with me, I'd totally choose Evan.  

gratitude

Yesterday it was 23 degrees out at 8 o'clock in the morning and I was grateful.  I was so thrilled that the temperature had soared into the two digit range that I popped the trunk and took bear bait with me when I dropped Evan off to take the SAT and headed straight for the park.  We were so happy.  And there was no wind.  At least there was no wind when we set off and there was no wind as we passed the cut through which could have brought us back to the parking lot.  There was wind a few mnutes later as we got deeper and deeper into the forest and by the time I turned for the final lap across the park and back to the parking lot it was down right gusty.  

Have I ever mentioned how ridiculously prone to frost bite my chubby cheeks are?  Every other part of me was so bundled it was fine but by the time I got back to the car my cheeks were purple and frozen solid.  It's such a bizarre feeling when the cheeks are so cold that they are hard.  And then there is the stinging. They burned all the way home.

Josh got a haircut in anticipation of his bag day (bar mitzvah) next weekend.  I asked the hair stylist about the correlation between my shockingly limp hair and the lack of humidity as of late and she sadly told me there was nothing I could do.  I see that there might be rain (if you actually believe a seven day forecast) on Josh's big day and I'm pretty excited that the inclement weather might bring the bounce back to my hair.  

But I don't really care about my hair.  It's just there will be a photographer and that in itself is awful enough, but with my weight being on the higher side and sad hair, that just fills me with angst.  Ick.

chop chop

Last week I chopped 8 inches of hair off.  It was very freeing.  Freeing of the giant tangled web of hair that would form at the back of my neck each day.  (and if I wore a hat all day I'd have one big round dread like thing on either side of my head too)

Naturally, I drove all way back to stepford for my haircut.  I could probably try harder to find a good hair cutter here in new town.  It's just that my stepford lady does exactly what I ask her to do, with talent.  You can't improve on that kind of perfection!  When I told her how much I wanted off my head she asked me if I was going to cry after and that reminded me of a time when I was in college .......

I was 18 years old and most of my friends were gay guys (no kidding!).  Someone knew a hairstylist who would cut our hair in his kitchen at night for a big discount.  He had done my hair a few times before, and even given me a really good perm (it was the 80's folks!!).  I knew I was dropping out so I went to him and told him he had to give me a haircut that would last because I was going home and didn't know when or even if I'd ever be back.  He turned my chair around so I couldn't watch him in the reflection of the wall oven, like I usually did, and when he was done I was sporting a mullet.  

Cried for four days.  Also, went back to the dorm, took out my scissors out and started hacking away at the back.  It was not good.  

Then I got on a plane to go home and when I got off my mother didn't recognize me.  When I tapped her on the shoulder she burst into tears and cried "No daughter of mine looks like that!"  I had to agree.  It was serious.  

Mom took me to Vidal Sasson and two hairdressers studied me as mom explained that she needed me to look both female and civilized again and finally they said that the best they could do was to try to give me a sort of feminine crew cut.  I walked out with a crew cut with wisps.  And so began the long period of hair style growing out.  That was not a pretty period either.  At one point, while walking through central park early in the morning a group of hung over young people opened their eyes and was convinced I was Boy George's back up singer and chased me through the park a little bit.  At some other point, just when it had finally grown out enough not to be stupid looking,  I let another friend experiment on making me look like Madonna (it was her black roots stage) and ended up with hair that was bleached until it was crispy.  It felt like cotton candy and didn't look any more like hair than cotton candy did too.  I couldn't get a comb through it when it was wet, even if I oiled it first.  I was a seasoned pro at the growing out process by this time so I just got another crew cut.  

Now I have a nice trendy bob, a little shorter in the back and draping perfectly under my chin in the front.  No tears, just maybe a kick in my pants for not doing it sooner.

 

 

Reasons why I might leave the room

I cannot listen to sports on television.  The bizarre imagined importance of the sport by those oh so earnest as if it matters sports casters all makes me want to murder.  Believe me.  It's a good thing if I leave.

Channel surfing.

Knuckle cracking.

Chewing loudly.  (The PC way to say that.  "loudly" is not how I would descrive the chewing in person)

Reasons why I might stay.

Guilt.

Too lazy to leave.

 

giddyup

Yesterday I woke up fine and somehow threw my back out putting my clothes on.  I had a paper and a project both due today so, in total panic and fear that my nauseating whole body pain was going to get worse,  I downed a 2o ounce coffee, and polished off my paper.  Then I did some stuff with the kids, drove to the 'bucks and got myself a grande something or other and edited and submitted my photos.  Yeah me!!  Today I was on easy street.  Except for the back pain that extends from my neck, around my rib cage and down to my tail bone.  I broke my tailbone once when I fell on my ass going down stairs.  It hurt for two years.  

It's time to get back on the photo horse.  I've shot a few things for my personal project but I have to get serious.  Two weeks until those pesky advisor skypes start up again.

my natural

I had a really weird dream last night.  I dreamed the husband was young again.  He wasn't just young, he was healthy and  it was such a strange dream.  I think the inspiration for y dream was seeing a picture from Benjamin Button, but today, as a wide awake (and quite caffeinated) person,  I'm not sure if I actually saw a still picture from Benjamin Button yesterday or if I dreamed I saw a still from Bejamin Button and that train of subconscious thought led to me experiencing the husband as a young and healthy person.  In any case, there I was feeling like I was with a young and healthy version of my husband and everything was totally different right down to the cells in my own body, but especially the color of the atmosphere around me and when I woke up this morning the thought of how radically different was stayed with me.  

But in the end the husband is not young again, he is older than his years and that is my reality.

On a more cheerful note, I attended the Bat Mitzvah of Josh's soul mate girlfriend this morning.  It's always a mind trip going back to stepford because everything there is so familiar and so easy for me since I know it blike the back of my hand but going back to our old synagogue was even more trippy than going back to the town.  Everyone was so surprised to see us.  I guess they didn't realize we are such good family friends with the whole family of Josh's soul mate girlfriend.  We couldn't stay for the whole service and had to sneak out a few minutes early. I had a great moment when when someone told me that her son would be sad that he missed seeing me because I was one of the few good and nice teachers he ever had.  (I had been his religious school teacher back about 5 years ago)  It was a lovely service and I am always so shocked by how much I miss that congregation.  I just feel like I was really as part of that place, which not a feeling I have in the new town congregation.  As a matter of fact, I think I might seek out another place to go here because I would like to have a nice and friendly place to go to for holidays and even possibly an occasional service.

The reason we left early was to come straight home so Josh could "star" in his latest acting endevor.  Today was opening day for The Wiz and Josh was magnificent as the Lion.  I know I'm the mom and everything, but man, my face cramps up from all the grinning I do when he's on stage.  One of the most surprising moments happened during Josh's solo when he sang his solo song in a deep and manly voice.  I didn't even know he could sound like that!  He's just great on stage.  He's a  natural.

take this

According to the advertising on the television shows I end up watching I have Rheumatoid arthritis, low testosterone, erectile dysfunstion, and am in need of technological devices.   I must be a man.  It gets frustrating.

These days I am deeply involved in a fantasy that involves building a secret tunnel out of the house in utopia that leads to a giant greenhouse which is half swimming/lap pool and half a garden full of everything I might want to eat.  It might also have a bathroom, a sauna and a bar because it's my fantasy and I say so.

Evan has something, I am not sure what.  At first I thought maybe he had the flu but it doesn't seem serious enough to be a flu.  I panicked because Evan has mid terms next week and this is a really bad time for him to be sick and second because Josh's play is this weekend and it would be a really really really bad time for someone else to get Josh sick.  I've been treating Josh with anything that claims to bolster your immune system just incase.  

 

bored

When Matt was little I had a friend who insisted that her kid at 6 months would always be her favorite age.  I couldn't believe my ears, 6 months had come and gone and there was so much to look forward to! I felt bad for her kid who may have peaked before she could even crawl.  I couldn't bear hearing that.

So, we've had a lot of family time the past two weeks being on vacation and a little snowed in etc...  I find myself longing for days of the past when I could see what kind of hokey kid event was going on and drag the kids over.  If we didn't end up having a good time we'd at least have a good laugh over how disappointing the event was.   These days it's impossible to find a family activity because Evan only wants to hang out with his friends, Josh only wants to be on his lap top and the husband can barely walk.  

I'm frustrated and bored.