clickmom

Paper

I was drivng down the road with Matt in utopia when we came upon the sad scene of a dead mother skunk with an uninjured little baby skunk trying to snuggle up with her.  I grabbed the phone and made a few phone calls until we found a woman who rescues animals and would take the baby skunk.  Matt stood in the road to guard the baby while I zipped home to get rubber gloves, a towel and a box, like the animal recuer woman instructed me to do.  I parked in front of the skunks, to protect them from traffic and Matt reached out to grab the rubber gloves.  He said after watching out for the baby he felt a sense of responsibility to her.  He picked her up and placed her into the towel, which I held up for him.  We folded it over, making her a little skunk burrito, put her in the box and headed for the drop off point with the animal rescuer.  

On the way over Matt and I decided we should name her. I suggested we name her after a perfume, and Matt quickly came with the name of one of the perfumes which Evan has been test driving off of some offer on kickstarter.  We named her Paper.  It was a perfect fit.   Poor little Paper baby skunk was squeeking and squawking.  We took a bunch of videos and photos and then the rescuer showed up.

She said we couldn't visit her but we could come to see Paper being released.  I just hope her release does not happen when I'm in school.  I really would like to come to see (not smell) it.

Afterwards we both felt a little dizzy and lightheaded for a while.  We also smelled kind of skunky, which was confirmed by a very adorable little boy in the condiment aisle of the supermarket we went to because we were bringing lunch back for the family. 

I wish paper had a skunk cam.  I hope she's all right.

time machine needed

When bear bait went to puppy school the dog owners were instructed to purchase little treat pouches which attached to our belts or waistbands so that we could treat our puppies for all desireable behavior.  This did not work out well for bear bait and me because 1. she was spooked by a passing train on our way in to the second class (yes, the puppy training school was inconveniently located besides the train tracks) and spent every class after the train incident trembling, whining, staring at the floor and attempting to escape also 2. I kind of resented being a human treat dispenser. 

Since the days of puppy training class I have known countless happy dog owners who happily walk around day in and day out with biscuits in their pockets, unafraid of liver smelling pockets and perfectly content with being human treat dispensers.  I am not one of those dog owners.  The thought of crumby pockets somewhat disgusts me and I want bear bait to listen because I am just that awesome (like a supreme being to dogs) and without being bribed.  Bear bait pretty much listens, I don't have to bribe her, at least when we are out of the house.  Indoors, it's a completely different story.

Lately, much to my own crumudgeony surprise,  I have taken to stashing handfuls of little biscuits in my pockets "just in case."  And I've been offering them up to bear bait just for nothing, just for looking cute (she is so cute!) or standing next to me, or because she just seems so normal now and I am so thankful that she does not seem to be in pain while being secretly worried that she doesn't exactly let me know she is in pain until she is in unbearable pain, so I am sad and concerend because I just don't know.  I give her treats because I want her to be happy.  

Giving out treats makes me feel like grandma.  Grandma always had something sweet and sugary in her purse.  My dentist appreciated her too.   What I remember most are chuckles, suckers or chicklets.  I loved the chicklets.  Who am I kidding here?  I loved all the sweets each and every time I saw grandma!  Grandma's purse was a wonderland!! 

Other things that grandma always had in her purse were peanuts (for feeding to squirrels) and bird seed (for tossing at pigeons).  Grandma was a friend to animals.  

When I was kid you could buy fish at the sea lion habitat in Central Park and feed the sea lions.  (But there was no where to wash your hands after.)   You could also go to the  Barnum and Bailey circus at Madison Square Garden early and get right up the elephants and give them peanuts.  Grandma used to take me places.

If I could go back in time I'd make sure I would grab grandma and do all of those animal feeding things again.

hold the fries

I had four episodes of fast food during my "To Ohio and Back" driving odyssey.  I stopped at one place on my way out and with Matt I stopped at 3 places on the way back.  I discovered something.  I do not care for fast food in the least.  The fast food I bought when I was solo was so tasteless that I tossed the entire thing in the trash at the uneventful motel.  Then on the way home Matt and I tried a chicken place where everything had the singular taste of salt, a burger place where the meat was questionable and the bread was so tough and sponge like I didn't have the energy to sample the fries and a coffee place where I had my high hopes for the breakfast sandwich dashed.  It was the most disappointing way to decide to eat gluten and dairy because not a single bite was worth the side effects. I don't understand what the people who eat these fast foods all the time are tasting.  Or are they?

I'm in bra hell.  I was down to two and they decided to unravel themselves in the wash, so I ran out and got two more and they don't fit right.  It feels like something is pushing down on my boobs in those bras.  Weird right?   I got the new bra yesterday.  First it's kind of stiff and itchy but the sales lady told me that they soften right up in the wash, so I washed it and this morning?  Still stiff and itchy.  Also, the super lift factor is as unnatural looking as can be and feels foolish.  I don't mind showing the girls off a little bit, but this bra puts the "Holy crap!" in cleavage.  I'm going to have to go on a quest.  I can't decide if I should order the hell out of some catalog of call ahead to a store so they can stock up before I get there.  Probably call ahead.  There is only one big catalog that serves my purpose and they pissed me off by taking two weeks to send out my order once (about 6 years ago) I hold a grudge.

driving

I drove to Ohio, slept, drove some more helped Matt pack up the car and drove back all in 29 1/2 hours.  I feel like there should have been a trophy, medal or coffee bean sponsorship involved.  There by the grace of those miraculous roasted little beans did I make it with out incident or any close calls.  My bean of choice while on such a long journey is the expresso bean, specifically the expresso bean which is roasted and covered in dark chocolate.  You can slowly chew your own coffee that way and avoid excess rest stops too.

I slept in a road side motel which was a stone's throw from the off ramp of the highway. I was hoping for some thrilling late night police activity and even placed my phone right near the window prepared to video document the low lifes being dragged to the waiting police cars, (clearly I have been watching too much television)  and then much to my disappointment there was nothing and when, in the wee hours of the morning,  I dragged my half asleep body to the parking lot to complete my driving odyssey I noticed that all the other half asleep people were perfectly ordinary people who were also slogging back to their cars for the next leg of their own journeys. 

Driving down the highway through the middle of Pennsylvania late at night is so lonely that I started to wonder if maybe a zombie apocolypse had happened and I didn't know about it because I had been driving for three hours straight and listening to satellite radio where there is no news.  

Speaking of radio, I had a seven hour karaoke/lite music/top 40 drive to the middle of Pennsylvania, and by the time I pulled into the motel I was so sung out I was croaking like a frog.  You will be glad to know that I have not forgotten the words to any of Barbara Streisand's greatest hits.   That was kind of fun.  I need to find a designated driver who would like to take me to bars with actual karaoke and start making drunk singing friends.  I think it would really round out my life.

Here is one negative to having only sons.  Because driving one way from Ohio back to new town wasn't enough passengering for him, Matt felt the need to shop today, rather than participate in the day I had planned for us which involved non english speaking older illegal aliens and massages.  (Honest ones, get your mind out of the gutter!) He likes a certain clothig line and I drove half an hour to a certain mall because they have what Matt wanted and a certain intimates store which carries a certain bra that has been advertised on television lately as coming in my Gargantuan size.  I purchased the item.   I actually wore the intimate out of the store, and would like someone to tell me if my bosom  is grazing the bottom of my double chin the way it feels as if it might be, since the new trend in Gargantuan bras is to take support to never before seen elevated levels.  Sometimes just because someone figured out how to doesn't mean you should. You know?  The boys do not monitor my physical decline, so they would not notice if suddenly I was walking around with the incredibly  perky breasts of a hormonally super charged tween.  I have no one to ask.

Bear bait is not limping at all, she is however panting like crazy on our walks and I can't tell if it is the not entirely staggering rise in temperature and humidity that has done it or if she became seriously out of shape being housebound for a week and a half.  I didn't even walk her this morning, I more wandered her, because I am exhausted from all the drving and hadn't scourged the left over expresso beans yet, so running was out of the question, I was too tired to tie shoe laces, I found some slip ons that were lying by the door and shuffled out gathering strength from the guilt of knowing that noone walked her yesterday in my absense.  It's me or nothing.  Those coffee beans ere in the car, and this why I am writing here and not passed out , face down, and drooling on my couch.  How long til I can go to bed anyway?

my buddy

I couldn't NOT walk bear bait.  When the orthopedist vet assistant told me to give her two more weeks of antibiotics she also said to not walk her for two more weeks.  Obviously the ortho vet assistant does not own a retriever.  Or maybe even an actual dog.  My guess is she is more of a cat person.  

First I took bear bait off the anti inflammatory and off the (whale tranquilizer) pain killer and she was fine.  Then Evan frolicked with her in the back yard and then he and I gave her a 20 minute "test walk" and she did not limp or appear to be in pain afterwards. This morning I took bear bait on a short hike.  It was a glorious day, the nut meg state is in full bloom, the forest is lush, and bear bait was in heaven. The thing is, so was I.  Bear bait and I are totally zen we are walking together.   I have come to terms with the fact that I might actually need a dog in my life every day, always and forever.  I just like (require) having a little furry walking buddy.  I just wish my little furry walking buddy didn't whine so much during the 22 hours a day when we aren't walking.  I love her anyway.

limpers

So, the off color joint juice that they extracted from bear bait's elbow was not infected after all.  It did however have too many inflammatory markers which according to the staff at the orthopedist vet (he must be too important to make the phone call himself, but not too important for the inflated invoice.  ahem ahem)  in all likely hood means some kind of tick disease, not necessarily lyme, which she tested negative for.  Since bear bait stopped limping after a couple of days on her antibiotic (also taking pain killers and anti inflammatories and not going out for walks, so really, was it the anti biotic?) they just gave me two weeks of pills to really knock what ever it is out and hopefully she won't start limping again afterwards. They did not 100% rule out some nefarious auto immune disorder, but want to go this antibiotic for unnamed tick disease route first.  I would think that for over 2K they'd at least have a deinite answer for me.  It's been frustrating.  Also, bear bait hasn't had a walk for a week and they want to me to not walk her for two more weeks.  I can not follow that instruction.  Maybe I can drag it out for the rest of this week, but I'm not going to be able to torment her with two more weeks of non walking.  If she is going to start limping again I'd rather know sooner than later anyway.

Speaking of limping, Josh (sprained ankle)  is spending another day on the couch.  Tomorrow I am making him go to school because I just want my days to myself. I'm getting a curious case of "want to be alone"  and I want to be alone a lot. Most of the time, actually.  I can see myself becoming quite hermit like on day.  But back to Josh, I brough thim to his rehearsal yesterday because this is the last week before the paly this weekend and they ahve rehearsal every day.  I thought the director would faint, but they were cool as cucumbers.  They've seen it all ebfore and even discused writing the crutches in to Josh's misfortunate in other ways as well character.

Happy Mother's day to me

I started Mother's Day by not going for a walk since bear bait is still on bed rest, and I feel guilt ridden for going out for a walk without her.  Also last week I had a few days of nausea and got off my entire running/walking schedule.  But tomorrow I am back to running.  I don't care if I end up wretching on the path, I wil be out there! 

I stayed home and decided to tackle my grad school reading list.  I'm on book 1.  Go me.  I'm gonna love this.  I can't wait to have people to discuss these books with!  The only person who wants to discuss any thing with me these days is Evan and he thinks like a teenager, which means he has all the answers, what ever I think is ridiculous.  I think his perspective is tiny, naarrow and crafted to evade personal responsibility.  Also, I feel like he is yelling at me, so it's uncomfortable.  I hope there are other not young any more people in this program with me,  Fingers crossed for wise with age comrads who would like to respectively and calmly share ideas about any and everything art and photo related.

Then Josh limped out of bed and I realized that he wasn't kidding when he said he hurt foot last night tripping on a hallway rug.   I took him to the emergency room.  (Yes, that makes one birthday in the Er with Mr. burnt feet and one Mother's Day in the ER with a limping child)  It's sprained, so not the biggest worst situation.  But still , on Mother's Day!!  Crutches are not going to be much fun for J baby.  I just hope he doesn't fall again!

Then the family gave me some gifts, like a new back pack, which fits my huge 17 inch lap top (much needed) , and a coffee cup that looks like a big honking photo lens (very cute.)

Then I found out that the surprise they aranged for me was to go to a show and out for Ethiopian food for dinner.  

Unfortunately the hour long drive into the city took 2.5 hours and we missed the show.  I know! But I did get the Ethipian food, which I enjoy so much that I fantasize about it.

Now we are home and tomorrow I get to see Evan off to school, the husband off to the airport, (business trip) and then I am home with limpy dog and limpy child.  I'm going for an extra hard run tomorrow.  I have a lot to run off.  

rejoice

So, Evan has been driving for a couple of weeks already.  he got his permit on his birthday.  I happened to mention to Josh that one of the things Evan has master is slowing down while turning and Josh gulped and asked me if I had ever seen Evan play a video game.  I said I had not been watching Evan play video games and then Josh, with pity in his eyes, told me that Evan prefers to accelerate during a turn because he is big fan of drifting.

Speaking of Josh, he is on a school trip since Monday morning.  Life with one kid is a walk in the park.  So freaking easy.  

At the butcher counter I asked for an entire brisket today, not realizing that that what they usually give is half a brisket, so now I have enough brisket going into the freezer to feed the four of us some future meal and enough brisket left over from tonight for brisket sandwiches tomorrow.

Speaking of sandwiches, I have been grain free since Saturday.  Feeling great.  Not entirely sure if it is grain related or if it has more to do with the buckets of supplements I've been gagging down three times a day.  Something is working.

Speaking of working, I think the pain killers are working for bear bait.  They are working on her personality!  She has hardly barked at all the  last two nights.  She didn't even totally flip out when a huge hawk landed in our backyard and lurked for a bit before spreading it's tremendous wings and pushed itself into the air and glided away.  I hear the neighbors are rejoicing. 

 

mostly b.b.

My good news is my bad news today.  The good and bad news is that because bear bait started limping last week, and because this is her third limping episode and because these episodes don't occur in a pattern the astronomically overproced veterinary orthopedist finally made some headway into her problem.  Today they extracted some fluid from her joints, all of which made her cry out in sad heart breaking doggy screams when pressed, and at least one joint fluid showed obvious signs of infection.  Poor bear bait is on three medicines tonight.  She is on a heavy duty pain killer, an anti biotic and an anti inflammatory.  Hopefully when her lab results come back it shows that she is on the correct antibiotic for what she has brewing in there.  I don't want to waste any of her time with the wrong medicine.  I feel completely guilty that in retrospect there were signs, like her overly excessive barking of the past couple of months, and also she cried when I was brushing her and I went to brush the area around her shoulders.  I feel kind of bad.  She's probably been hurting for a long time now. 

I was thankful to the regular old vet, who sent me back to the vet orthopedist, who reassured me that I did not hurt her by walking too much. (We've walking more lately because of the beautiful spring weather) or taking her to the beach (she started to limp on the beach last week, I thought maybe she had cut her foot on a shell.  The beaches here are very sharp shell covered)

In the mean time they don't want me to walk her at all for the next two weeks.  I can tell you that they are going to have to provide more pain killers for her if they think she is going to lie around the house for two whole weeks.  This is going to be as torrturous for her as the pain.  This girl loves to be on the go and I love to be on the go with her.

There is one woman who lost her dog last winter who still shows up at the fields and still walks with the other dog owners.  Sometimes I wonder if I might show up once bear bait is gone.  Nine is freaking ancient for a flat coated retriever, and I guess a part of me knew she hasn't been feeling well for a while.  But what I am asking myself now is wether or not I can go up the fields and leave bear bait at home!  I do love walking, and I do want to keep on with my running.  Yeah, I will be there without her.  

Speaking of running, I got a massage yesterday because I am trying very hard to find someone who can relieve my own pain, which is shoulder and upper arm from when I slipped on the ice and ended up hanging myself from the seat belt by my wrist last winter.  My shoulder never recovered and I don't feel like going to the chiro I've been using here.  Too rough.  So I opted for acupuncture instead and driving home from acupuncture yesterday I decided to stop in at new massage parlor that looks more like a head shop or a chinese food take out place from the outside because someone recommended it to me and it was a fabulous massage.  This woman worked my hips and holy hell they were tight, but this morning when I ran (I'm off schedule) I could feel the improvement, so massages might be in my future.  Luckily when you look like you might be selling porn in the back room your massages end up being pretty reasonably priced. 

I've been grain free since Saturday because the guy who I am going to for acupuncture is actually a naturopath and he is putting the pressure on me to clean up my diet.  No time like the present.  (I don't ever say, that is totally not my saying)  I know that I can't keep putting it off forever.  It's only been four days but between the inflammation that has begun to subside and the five pounds of water retention the scale says I lost I am already feeling quite relieved.  This time around I have to keep it up.  I can't continue to abuse my body with stuff that isn't even food.