clickmom

Post Sandy

That storm totally scared the hell out of me. I was kind of hoping josh was scared too so I could cling onto him all night but when I asked him if he was afraid and wanted to sleep in my room he looked at me like I had grown an extra eye and headed for his own bed. I braved it by myself.

Our power went out around 5 so I got to really listen to the storm instead of diverting my attention with Breaking Bad episodes on netflix and lame news reporters risking their lives on the beach while warning us mere mortals to stay off those very same beaches.

Just once i would like to see a news reporter swept out to sea, but then ultimately rescued totally shook up but other wise fine. That would end the hypocrisy once and for all.

Sandy was so loud I felt convinced I was on a moving locomotive. Except the floor wasn't moving along with the sound. I didn't hear the few trees way on the fringe of our property falling. Those trees are actually not even our trees. They just fell onto our lawn, which is fine because nothing came down near the house. I was watching the trees in front of our house for a while during the storm and trying to calculate the potential damage if they fell towards the house. I think the heavy part of them might crush our cars in the driveway but the house would only get scraped by branches. At least that is what I was telling myself in order to finally fall asleep last night. Tonight I'm being smarter and throwing back some beers.

Did I mention school is cancelled tomorrow too? It looks like the boys might get the whole week off. 85 percent of new town is without power.

It looks like things are pretty bad in step ford too. I feel like I bailed on my babes. Also, I am trying very hard lately to think kind thoughts but I have my fingers crossed that the nasty people who bought my beloved beautiful step ford house got completely flooded again. I have guilt over that too.

Evan was just about driving me out of my mind with his cranky attitude but then he disappeared into the bathroom for so long I went to check on him. He said he had an upset stomach but whatever it was he came down social and reasonable. I might start sneaking laxatives into his food. No I won't. But I will want to.

Josh just loves staying in because he is completely happy curled in a chair reading all day. My concern where he is concerned is that he might explode. He sneaks into the kitchen for the goodies I STUPIDLY bought (because none of us should be eating them) and he does the hand to mouth thing all day long. That apple didn't fall far from the tree

I had my teeth cleaned a couple of weeks ago and the hygienist, clearly frustrated by the presence of build up on my gum line nastily asked me if I ate a high sugar diet. I came dangerously close to sarcastically pointing out that no one 70 pounds over weight eats a high sugar diet. And tell her I eat only vegetables. Then she scheduled me for my next appointment but I got her! On my way out I told the receptionist I'd rather been seen by someone "gentler" and changed my appointment to someone else in the office.

More guilt: I also bought some Halloween candy for the kids because I had a feeling it was going to be cancelled AGAIN this year. Looks like I was right. All vegetables.

Sandy

Storm of the century? Bring it on. I shopped like its thanksgiving.

Hacked

I let a hacker have access to my computer. I feel like such an idiot. I have changed my IP address and am getting the computer scrubbed this week. Hopefully the IT guy I take my computer to can see if it has been breached or not before he has to erase everything. I haven't turned the lap top on in a week.

In the mean time we went to California I got go kayaking in the ocean past a colony of sea lions. I got to shoot a shot gun at clay pigeons. I had an 80 minute massage and three fabulous dinners. I wished I could send the family home and stay on by myself. I need a vacation. I'm not talking about the kind of vacation where the whole family goes somewhere fun. I'm talking about me going on vacation by myself and doing what I want to do and not thinking about anyone else. I just don't know any other way to take care of myself.

I've been eating like its my last meal. I'm making myself kind of ill. Every day I tell myself I'm going to turn it around. Then I inhale the first thing I see. ???? Maybe my vacation needs to be the looney bin.

Hacked

I let a hacker have access to my computer. I feel like such an idiot. I have changed my IP address and am getting the computer scrubbed this week. Hopefully the IT guy I take my computer to can see if it has been breached or not before he has to erase everything. I haven't turned the lap top on in a week.

In the mean time we went to California I got go kayaking in the ocean past a colony of sea lions. I got to shoot a shot gun at clay pigeons. I had an 80 minute massage and three fabulous dinners. I wished I could send the family home and stay on by myself. I need a vacation. I'm not talking about the kind of vacation where the whole family goes somewhere fun. I'm talking about me going on vacation by myself and doing what I want to do and not thinking about anyone else. I just don't know any other way to take care of myself.

I've been eating like its my last meal. I'm making myself kind of ill. Every day I tell myself I'm going to turn it around. Then I inhale the first thing I see. ???? Maybe my vacation needs to be the looney bin.

not too fat to notice

When I went next door to tell the neighbor about the now bald mangy coyote (who is HUGE for a coyote BTW) I was going on and on about watching the coyote cross into her yard and how that particular day the coyote surveryed her yard from my yard and seemed to be gazing at the playset her tiny little kids play on and how it was worrisome to me, she interuppted me by asking "Who are you?"

Welcome to new town.

I have spoken to this neighbor several times before and also saw her every day while she waited in her driveway for the school bus and I waited right next door in mine.  Honestly, I always figured that I stood out in a town of skinny people.  I guess not.

bones go down

The coyote was back today.  I haven't seen him for about 5 days and in the last 5 days he lost almost all of his hair.  He scares me because I know for sure something is wrong with him,  I called the police and I was hoping they would show up and just shoot him on the spot, but when the single cop came up the side of my house the coyote turned and headed back to the woods.  The cop said the coyote wasn't sick because if he was he'd be twitching, listing to the side or lying beside my house.  I told the cop the coyote had hair 12 days ago, but he didn't seem care.   Seriously?  Theme of my life: no one takes me seriously.

I walked across to my next door neighbor's house.  I had warned other people on the street but the woman right next to me isn't friendly and I never see her or even know her name, but I wanted to warn her because she has 6 year old twins who are tiny and I didn't like the way the hairless coyote was surveying her yard and play set while I was waiting for the cop to show up.  The neighbor didn't even recognize me after seeing me waiting with Josh for the school bus every day last year.  I was telling her all about the coyote and she asked me who I was.  Hello again theme.

I went to the area where the coyote had been eating something to see if there were any small animal bits left over on my grass.  Mostly I didn't want to find something gross for bear bait to roll around in. I thought maybe I'd find a skull or something else not edible.  What our bald coyote finds inedible is a striped tuft of racoon tail hair and stinking full intestines.  I guess the bones go down easy.

 

3 calls

Now that I no longer live with the fear of a gall bladder attack I think lustful thoughts over food that I mostly can't eat anyway.  Just now I was leafing through the coupon section the news paper and saw a photo of friend chicken.  I salivated. Then I remembered that friend chicken is almost always dipped in milk before it is floured.  Milk and wheat are two things I can not eat.  This is not as fun as it could be.

I went for another session of acupuncture today.  It's interesting to note that the acupuncturist touches each spot before he slides the needles in and I can always tell exactly where the needles are going to go in because those spots are tender to the touch.  I told him today that was a stresser and he looked at me with his head slanted and said I didn't seem like a stresser and I couldn't quite bring myself to describe the little voice in my head that doesn't shut up and always reminds me about all the things I worry about on my worry loop.  I know I sound kind of crazy.  I just said "Yeah, No one can ever tell."

I hopped on the table, took all the needles like the tough broad I am (ouch), and tried to doze off when the needle dude left me there luxuriating under a heat lamp.  My phone began to vibrate in my purse and I wasn't about to hop off the table needles and all so I tried to ignore the buzzing.  All together there were three phone calls and a text reading "Hey- you're no tpicking up.  Where are you?" and they were all from the husband who knew where I was but for some reason thought acupuncture was a ten minute ordeal and did not involve en like napping under a heat lamp while trying not to move any body part attached to a needle because ouch.  Yeah, I did wriggle my toes once and there were two needles in the top of my foot.  ouch.

Speaking of three phone calls, let me tell you about three other phone calls the husband made or neglected to make.

First, yesterday, during Josh's illness when I was stuck on a train back to new town and the husband was stuck in traffic on the parkway the husband called the middle school nurse to report the traffic problem.  The husband also told the nurse, who he assumed wanted to leave since school was already out for the day, that she could just put Josh outside the front door on a bench and go home.  Luckily the nurse said she'd wait for the husband and also luckily no one from any child welfare agency showed up at my door today to investigate.  The 200 yard car ride home was more than poor Josh could handle and as soon as the husband pulled into the droveway poor Josh rolled out of the car and lost his lunch right on the blacktop.  The husband, not considering doing anything to rememdy the vomit on the driveway situation,  called me to let me know where I should step carefully when I pulled into the driveway.  I could tell by the expression on the dude who sat facing me on the train that I was not overreacting when I explained to the husband that he better not let bear bait out while there was still a pile of vomit on the driveway and also that it was imperative he get a bucket of water and toss it onto the pile of vomit on the driveway and not leave the pile there in the afternoon sun waiting for me.  Lastly, the one phone call the husband neglected to make was to his barber, with whom he had a haircut appointment.  When I got home about 20 minutes after the husband pulled in with Josh, the husband and his vehicle were no where to be found.  The husband had gotten Josh stationed on the couch and zipped off for his bi-weekly trim.

Would it surprise you to read that I had trouble sleeping last night?

craptastic

Went into the city today and met a friend.  We bought good food and champagne and had a picnic at a park.  Then we went to the Affordable At Fair, then a walk on the Highline, an attempt to see the some kind of 9/11 museum thing on 14th street except we didn't have reservations, and then we were strolling towrds the subway when Josh's school nurse called me.  He was sick.  She said he looked kind of scary.  

I jumped on a subway to grand central because I had taken the train in to the city.  I asked the husband to go home for Josh, but by the time I made it to the metro north train there was a message on my cell phone from the school nurse saying Josh couldn't walk home.  The husband got caught in car accident related traffic, I was at the mercy of the train and the lovely school nurse ended up staying at work 45 minutes late waiting for one of us to pick Josh up from her office.

Josh ended up rolling out of the husband's car and hurling in our driveway.  When I pulled in a few minutes later he was paler than I'd ever seen him before.  He also has dark circles under his eyes.

I can't even say how CRAPTASTIC I felt being so far away and so unable to rescue my kid.  

 

 

eyes open

Last spring my desk top died, so I have to rely solely on my lap top.  This would be fine excpet that my lap top refuses to recognize my card reader and I can't download any photos.  I want to yell, scream, kick my legs and pull out my hair.  Damn you Lion!!  

I was almost painless today.  Yay.  Still have the belly button lump though.  Acupuncture may have been miraculous.  I'm doing it again Saturday.  And probably again after that too.  I'm sure I could go forever.

I'm feeling like finding a good place to exercise.  I miss the posh club.  I miss it a lot.  Seriously a lot.  I miss the sauna too.  I need a good sauna.  It was Newt's birthday today so I was thinking about the time that one woman started asking me odd questions to see if he and I were having an affair.  Crazy.  Today Newt turned 27.  He's still a baby!

My back yard is like a drive through safari.  Frolicking bucks, families of wild turkeys, the coyote (haven't seen him in days), groundhogs, hawks, doves, other birds I can not identify but still I'm so proud I know more than just pigeons, and smaller things.

We had moles in utopia this summer.

Was all of this wildlife there all along and I am only just now noticing it?  How strange.

grandma's back

I've been so so so tired.  People keep telling me it takes time to clear the anesthesia, but I'm getting impatient for feeling wonderful, which is what I want to feel now that I can so very happily go about my life never fearing another gall bladder attack again!  (Joy!)

Except that each day by the time I drag myself out of bed, get the boys up, toss them some breakfast, bag up some lunch, drop Josh off at his school and take bear bait for her morning stroll the only thing I want to do is climb under a big heavy lead blanket and go back to sleep for the rest of the day.

And I'm not sleeping so well at night either.

I thought maybe bad night sleeping had something to do with all the napping and today I decided to stay awake the entire day and see if that improved my night time condition.  After I walked bear bait this morning I grabbed my camera and went and photographed a few spots I had noticed while driving around town.  The skies were finally overcast!  They weren't ideal, as the cloud cover was thicker than ideal, but beggars can't be choosers, so off I went.  It was incredibly satisfying.  It was actually fabulous, and I don't even know if any of the photos are Y@le portfolio worhty.  Just getting my head in that seeing zone again was awesome.

Then I made an appointment for acupuncture because I think my body is all messed up now.  Between the death and ultimate surgical removal of my not necessary for life but still handy and appreeciated while it was still good gall bladder and the psychological torment of a three day hospitalization and elective surgery, I needed something.  Bourbon would have done the trick too, but with all the picking up and dropping off of kids I do I wouldn't be able to start drinking until bed time and what fun is drinking of you can't stumble around for a while after enjoying the buzz, amiright?  So I thought acupuncture migh tbe a good mid day way to go  instead.  If you think I was able to stay awake on that table lying flat on my back with classical music playing softly in the background and a heat lamp hovering over my mid section, then you have no idea how sleepy I can be and still appear to be awake.  I was out like a light the second needle man left the room.  I have no idea how long he was gone for, but I can tell it wasn't so long that I am not counting down the seconds until I can jump back into bed tonight!  I love my bed.  Also, after years and hundreds of dollars of searching I found the perfect pillow combination to go with my bed.  It's a beautiful thing, me, my old bed and my new pillow.  We are very happy together.

Did I mention that grandma made an appearane the other night?  Oh yes she did!  She hasn't turned on my television for a long time, but sure as the tiny little nose on my face, two nights ago I woke up at 4 something in the morning becuase there was brightness in my eyes, just in time to see the television switching itself off.  Hello grandma!  I didn't think she was going to mess with my brand new shiny flat screen tv that we got just for the new town bedroom, but I guess you can teach an old new tricks when the old dog lives in the spirit world and she wants to watch TV.   I really need a one on one with Teresa Caputo.