clickmom

anything but a schlong sock

When any of my kids come back from camp there is a laundry frenzy.  Everything comes back from camp wet.  Even if it is folded and hasn't even ben worn during the camp experience, it is still always somehow wet.

I bring all of the bags directly to the washing machine and one by one I unload and heavy duty wash it all.  I don't really even look at what filthy wet items I am washing until the folding stage and then I have the task of weeding out other people's clothes that end up in our stuff.  Normally, the kids bring home a  pair of shorts or a t shirt of two that do not belong to us.  This year, so far, Evan's stash of things that do not belong to him tally is 7 unmatched socks (to his credit they are similar to the socks I sent him to camp with) and one t shirt.  Not too bad.  This morning I was tossing another load of wet but folded clothes into the washing machine and I came across something that I did not send Evan to camp with and something I am not quit sure I even want to belong to him.  It appears to be home made.   I can think of several uses for this alien thing, like a premature baby elephant trunk warmer, a nok hockey stick cover, E.T.'s pointer finger pajamas, or heaven forbid a schlong sock.  I am waiting for Evan to wake up to ask about the thing, but I'm not sure I want to know.

got my baby back

Today was pick up from camp day for Evan.  Evan's camp is about a three hour drive from utopia.  Pick up was from 11 to 12 and since I didn't want to be the last parent to pick up her kid or have to make an embarrassing phone call that I was in traffic I left utopia at 7:30 this morning.  There as no traffic at all, and aside from a strange phenomenom where every car in every lane was travelling athe exact same speed for a while and one other incident where a driver was clearly dozing off behind the wheel somewhere in Pennsylvania (what is the right thing to do in that situation BTW?  Do you call 911 or quickly pass and pray the dude has enough sense to pull over before anyone gets hurt?)  I got there in record time.  So I stopped by the local grocery store for some peppercorns I'd need to prepare the special meal I was planning for Evan's first night back dinner.

Since purchasing peppercorns is not a lengthy process, I decided to just get to Evan's camp early and park in their lot and wait.  Which could have worked out fine if Evan's camp had opened the gate.  Instead I sat in my vehicle right outisde the gate watching some kids in the distance play basketball.  Evan was sadly not among them.  One mom who pulled in behind me left her car and wandered over to peer over the gate and she did see her son.  Her son saw her too and waved and was about to run over to greet his mother when a counselor stopped him.  My car window was open so I said to the mother "I'm jealous."  and she turned to me and we both began to cry.  She asked "Why are we crying?" and I said "Because we want our babies back."

Luckily Evan's camp did open the gate a few minutes early and I drove straight to Evan's bunk.  Evan was standing right on the road and boy did he look great.  He saw me, ran up to the car, hugged me through the window, said things that were candy to my mother ears, like I MISSED YOU SO MUCH, tossed his stuff in the car and introduced me to all of his friends. 

Twenty minutes later we were back on the road.  There were a few frustrating patches of traffic on the way home, but they were totally worth it because 1. my baby was coming home and 2. there is a view from the bridge that crosses the Hudson on I-84 that is my fantasy view.  As a matter of fact, every time I get the chance to enjoy that view I fantasize about moving to that spot and spending all of my free time standing on that bridge watching the light move over the hills on the NY side of the river.

We got back to utopia aournd 2:30.

My BIL pulled in right behind me.  He had called the husband this week to see if we were going to be around today and I thought it might be nice for the two men to spend the day with Josh, but instead he came later and we all had dinner, which was even better because the BIL loves to cook and when I told him I'd be making one of Evan's favorite meat choices my BIL said he'd make pasta and vegetables.  How irresistable is a man who cooks?

I was pretty burnt out from all the driving and all the coffee I drank to be hyper alert during all the driving so I had to veg out for a bit while the men socialized, but then we all had a nice low key family meal and a little fire with roasted marshmallows and it was all good.

Except for the part where Evan has spent half the time he has been home on the can and I am praying he did not come with a stomach virus.

But 2/3 of my offspring are here and that is better than 1/3.  Three more weeks and I'll have a full house.

blueberry picking

I went blueberry picking with Josh today and all I could think is that I should be dragging him stuff like this more often.  He isn't going to be young and cooperative forever!  It was a great little time. We just strolled to the blueberry patch and filled a bucket.  We had great discussion over large versus small blueberries, the color of bluberries and the annoyingness of the mechanical bird call sound machine as opposed to the sadness of birds eating up all of the blueberries.

Last night I took some health food store stuff to help with my gall ladder agony.  This morning I woke up without gall baldder pain for the first time in 5 days!  Then I went out to dinner with a friend tonight and when they put a bowl of new england clam chowder in front of me I ate it never thinking about what an insane thing I was doing and now I am holding my breath waiting to see how bad tonight's attack is going to be.  I can already feel the pain starting up in my back.  Amazing how I can totally turn my freaking brain off.  I could kick myself.

I have so many photo ideas for this summer that my brain is about to explode.  Tomorrow evening I am going to take some night photos.  

extra challenge

Typepad refuses to remember me from post to post and keeps making me sign in over and over. I think it is a ploy to make me use facebook to sign in and I do not want to do that.  I think it might be because then all my good stories are written down and then  I can't tell them anymore.  

The whole diet thing went out the window this weekend. I had all these guests to utopia and I spent a good portion of my free time cooking, which was fine since a couple of my guests kept cleaning, but I made such delicious food I wanted to taste all of it and I ended up in gall bladder hell- with a huge attack, a minor attack and 2 other days of general soreness and swollen-ness.  I know I'm crazy for walking around like this and I am going to find a doctor (I did not like the one I met with a couple of months ago)  after the summer.  I'd do it now, but I don't want to ruin what is left of this summer.  I know a person is only out of commision for a few days after the surgery but I doubt I could swim in a lake for a while after a surgery and this summer the lake is extra heavenly thanks to this heat wave we have been enduring in the northeast.  I don't want to miss out on a single day of swimming.

One day while walking bear bait I met a girl with a a huge tattoo sticking out of her low rider shorts and all I wanted to do was to take her picture.  Naturally (kicking myself!)  I did not have a camera with me.  I think I am going to start carrying a small camera where ever I go. Also, I am going to walk bear bait in the same place and hope that girl appears aagin.  I am going to wear my camera like a necklace every day.  I am also thinking about doing a portrait series of people from this town. I hope I can endear myself to a few and then they can bring me their friends.  Fingers crossed!  

I really wish I had gotten that tattoo girl's phone number.  The next step for me is to start hanging out at the public areas of the lake to look for people who might let me take their portraits.  It's all connected.  I think my whole portfolio is going to be lake/town related.  That works for me.  I have a whole list of places I'd like to head out and photograph but the truth is that I just don't have the time to drive for an hour and then scout and photograph and then drive back.  Also, if I take Josh with me my attention isn't focused so that does not work either.   I do have the time to stay local though.  I have a "thing" about people who take a lot of vacation photos, not because I don't think you should take vacation photos, but because I think everything looks kind of amazing if it is alien to us.  So different landscapes or exotic looking people are immediately intriguing and visually compelling.  I want to make compelling photos of what I see out my own window and of the kids next door. I think that it is an extra challenge to interpret what we see every day in a new light.

 

gall bladder woes

When my gall bladder is quiet I think I can go forever without ever submitting for surgery.  When I am in the throws of an attack (like I was last night) I try to figure out if I can remove it myself using what ever I can find on the bathroom sink edge, like a pair of tweezers and a nail clipper.  Rough night last night, more puking than usual.  

I just close my eyes every night and cross my fingers.

I think that this latest episode may have been inflamed by too many oranges and then I cemented my fate by nibbling on red meat, real mashed potatoes (hello there butter) and then birthday cake all in one meal.  I can be a real idiot.  It was Pal's birthday and I was so happy that he is spending it with me.  

The bad thing is that I've been doing so much cooking that I miss out on friend time.  Next time I'm getting pizza delivered.  (But not eat it.  Pizza would just about be the end of me)

scale has me on the mat.

I ran down to new town and forgot to weigh myself.

There was no doubt in my mnd that the cheapo utopian bathroom scale was fixed on one number despite my inevitable current state of weight loss.  For goodness sake, I am eating like a skinny person, it has been two full weeks, how could I not be wellon my way to skinny?  Also how could I, day after day eat grain free, sugar free, fat free and not lose weight?  It just did not seem possible.  The fact that my pants have not been falling off was nagging at me, I decided the weight must have just been melting off of some other part of my body, like my knee caps.  

While doing a few errands I purposely put Josh and me near a store where there would be a plethora of scales for sale yesterday.  Hit me with a ton of bricks, I tried seven diiferent scales and they all flashed a weigh similar to the (I thought must be) broken utopian scale.  I did end up purchasing a body fat, water weight, muscle weight, bone density reading scale in the end because even though I had stood on seven different scales, which all read a few pounds heavier than my utopian morning weight, (normal for fully clothed middle of the day) I was still sure that the next morning would come and I would be delighted to see a few more pounds definitley gone off of me.  WRONG.

The new battery operated, crystal ball, tell your future scale puts me at three pounds over the cheapo utopian scale.

Something is clearly worng here.  I can't imagine that I am capable of eating enough fruit and vegetables with a few bites of protein thrown in to not lose weight.  

That scale can bite me.  I'm so annoyed.

need to know

I miss Matt and Evan.  Matt has been in Russia on his Russian language/culture learning adventure for 16 days and Evan has been in what he affectionately calls "Jew camp" (well at least I can get search engine hits for more than "see through bething suits" now) for 14 days.  Having one kid around (and an easy one at that) seems like I'm cheating or something.  Without Matt and Evan around there is a lot less funny (with the exception of the husband falling into the out house 2 weeks ago, that was so hilarious I thought for sure they were going to throw us out of the energency room for laughing so much)  to go around. I do feel a bit lost, like my job is kind of cheating easy now.  I'm thanking the heavens that Josh is so agreeable and flexible and easy going.  It's just not what I'm used to.

A utopian lake neighbor jet skiied over to our dock and chatted with us today.  He suggested that we join Matt for the last few days of his Russian adventure.  That is just so not my life.  What would I do with the other two kids?  Also, I'm pretty sure the husband isn't going to be flying off to Russia any time soon.  He'll be too busy with his physical therapy starting next week. (I think,, doctor appointment tomorrow)  The truth is, that if I could just drop everything and join Matt on his international adventures, I wouldn't want to do it during the summer and lose utopia time and I'm not sure the allure of Matt time is even greater than my fear/hatred /dread of flying.  Besides, fly all the way to Russia for a few days??  It takes me two weeks to get over the time change between here and California!  I am not a natural born traveler.  (Could I sound any older right now?)

Speaking of the husband's doctor appointment, tomorrow I finally get to see the scar!  Yay!  Hopefully I won't see the physician assistant that I asked "Are you retarded?" to when they wanted to let the husband out of the hospital 24 hours after his surgery and he had a fever that I, and only I, was not confident came as part of the post surgical process.  When the physician assistant actually answered me that she was not retarded I just hung up on her because what I wanted to say was "Well, you sound like you're 24 years old and that's pretty much the same thing.  Can I speak with someone with some life experience, like maybe someone who is married with kids and is over 40?"  Yes, I am an ageist.

Today was a food day.  I couldn't bring myself to juice.  Wow, the juicing is seriously getting to me!  Since I'll be in new town tomorrow I can get some fresh pressed from a store juice, so tomorrow should be a good day in the nutrition department.  Yesterday I broke down and asked Josh (yes, I asked an 11 year old boy) if I looked less fat.  That damned piece of junk scale is torturing me by not registering a loss!  It can't be possible for me to eat so little and not have a loss, I know it just doesn't make sense.  Josh was amazingly reassuring.  Bless his little boy (wise beyond his years) heart.  I gotta grab my quality scale when I am back in new town for the husband's doctor appointment.  I gotta know!  I have friends visiting starting on Thursday and I am a wee bit concerned about the peer pressure to eat and drink.  I'll have to plan on how I am going to handle it.  Maybe I can make them all diet while they are here!  Hahaha.  I'm already planning the extensive menu.  I better think this one through.

marshmallowless me

There were more fireworks on the lake tonight for people who wanted to casually weekend celebrate the inconvenient mid week day of independence the rest of us suffered through last wednesday.   This means that for the second time in 3 days I felt obliged to drag out the s'mores basket to lavish folks from 11 (Josh)  to 72 (my oldest guest) and allow them to joyously indulge themselves.  

Have I ever mentioned what a superior marshmallow roaster I am?  Given a reasonable fire I can turn most marshmallows into a crunchy melted brown speckled experience of pure sweetness perfection.  There for it is with great pleasure that I end up toasting a lot of marshmallows during bon fires.  I did not take a single sneaky little nibble of a single marshmallow on either night.  I roasted many.   I think I deserve to lose 5 pounds tonight because of my commendable resolve.  

By the way, here I am almost two weeks through this mostly but not exclusively juicing  torture and I am still fat.  Who would have thought?  Not sure how that is even possible.

But seriously, I wish my new 2012 fat pants (Yup, I had to buy a size up) were even bigger on me than they are.  Truth is, they aren't even satisfactorily big yet.  I'd like to be able to remove them without unbuttoning them.  Then I will be so happy.  

The one place I can really see progress is my back.  Not my jelly belly or my face, just my back.  I guess the back is better than nowhere.  Anywhere is better than nowhere, they say.

had to chew

This is interesting.  I now look at the juicer and growl.  If I never see (until tomorrow that is) another glass of fresh pressed juice it will be okay with me.  I'm pretty sure what pushed me over the edge was seeing that there was a whole plan with juicing recipes, which are far from simple.  I myself am a three ingredient juicer.  The hwole plan thing kind of overwhelmed me.  That and the fact that by day two I already knew the bountiful number of places around new town where I could duck in and grab a freshly pressed juice that someone else pressed for me.  (No prep or cleaning involved, just the way I like it)   The closest thing to a fresh pressed juice around utopia would be a coffee coolatta.   Not going to happen though! 

SHould I go on to say that I ate solid fruits and vegetables today?

What I did not eat today: a grilled cheese sandwich, shrimp cocktail, zesty lemon hummus, rice, and my friend's movie theater popcorn which she asked me to hold for her so she wouldn't devour the entire bag. (WTH?!?!)   What I did eat today: fruits and vegetables and two and  half bites of the husband's left over salmon at dinner.  Yesterday I wore another pair of last year's pants.  I am incredibly anxious to weigh myself on my home scale.  I'll be weighing in on Monday.

it's day 10 and I am not fasting

Well, that was entirely too hard.  To be honest but not all blamey- I could have done it by completely fasting if I had not been handling other people's food all freaking day long.  I managed to go to a neighbor's fourth of July barbeque/party yesterday afternoon and not put a single morsel in my mouth.  Something as seemingly minor as assembling sandwiches?  Torture!  Forget about cooking sweet sumptuous aromatic food.  Shoot me now.

This morning I made a nice breakfast for Josh and then the thought of juicing was just too much.   Too much noise, too much mess, too much smelling of green things.  I ate my fruit instead of juicing it, which is what I've been doing mostly.  One day I tossed a bit of Josh's sandwich ham onto my plate of veggies and another day some turkey breast, but other than those two tid bits of building blocks of life protein I have been 100% vegetable and fruit- mostly juiced and sometimes eaten whole.  I have no idea where my weight is and am considering tossing that piece of crap scale into the trash and bringing old faithful to utopia with me when I return from going back to new town on Monday for the husband's doctor appointment and big reveal where I get to see the surical wound for the first time as he gets his stitches removed.  

I can tell you though that I wore last year's pants the other day and while they were far from baggy they were also completely appropriate and not entirely painted on or causing an embarrassingly large muffin top spillover.  So, this winter's 20 pound gain will soon be thing of the past.  Hopefully gone forever. Goodbye lonely and sad binge eating poundage!  

I can also tell you that I have been sleeping like a rock, which is interesting.  I figured without weiging myself down with daily binge food I'd be alert and awake, which I am during the day, but at night?  I'm going right off and staying asleep for the night.  Sweet.

I don't feel any miraculous clarity or relief from mysterious undiagnosed ailments or anything like that.  I just feel mostly all around fine, kind of annoyed that I am not eating the htings that smell so good, and also still stressed with a husband who is 1 week post surgery and still in a significant amount of pain.  I know the whole worrying thing is so bad for me, but worry is what I do, I don't know how to be any other way.

After the party yesterday I came home about 8 where a couple of friends gathered to watch the fireworks of my lake neighbors from my dock.  Most years there are 4 people we can see putting on their own illegal (as in they have the good stuff!)  fireworks shows.  Last night there were no less than 7 people firing off stuff. It was really glorious, and it ended with one friend, Josh and me lying on our floating water trampoline and then it drizzled for a minute before the dark skies opened up in pouring rain!  We started to dash into the house and then I said I wanted to go swimming so one friend and I ran back down to the dock and jumped into the water with the rain beating down on us and with our clothes on and everything.  It was great.  We stayed in until we spooked ourselves wondering if far away light flashes were actually lightening and not distant fireworks, then we danced to the music playing on the front porch while we were still in our wet clothes.  

I'm going to take more night swims this summer.  I like swimming in the dark.