clickmom

fuel to the fire

The school does not want to let me have my cake and eat it too.  Josh is in a production and I thought there was the slimmest of chances they'd let him finish off the project.  But NOPE.  They got to the teacher in charge and she told Josh he couldn't participate if he wasn't in school.  There's a dilemma!  Do I send Josh in for the one teeny slice of school (rehearsal days)  that gave him a weeny little bit of hope and sunshine and risk Josh being bullied by the bully kid and his posse of moron copycats?  I just feel like the school is starting with me now.  My gloves are on.  Bring it! 

I just don't know what to do.  I did convince an incredibly upset upon hearing the news Josh that we were going to get the last laugh over this situation.  We imagined a situation one day in the future where he is sitting on Conan's couch for being a famous voice over narrator and the joy with which he'll recount how he was barred from being the narrator in a fourth grade play- because was being bullied.    Back to reality- I'll have to ask the bevy of professionals I now have on retainer how this should be handled.

There was a speck of good news, it seems that the owners of the house in new town changed their minds about trying to extort more money from us.  We have a great lawyer in new town.  If only it could all be that easy! 

The news on the husband is not so good.  There is definitely a two-bone bone infection in his right foot.  More tests are being done.  He might end up with a PICC line administering his own IV antibiotics.  That will surely be lovely rainbows and unicorns and stress free.  And that is the best case scenario! Worst case scenario- chop chop.  I'm not going to go there right now because I'd like to actually get some sleep tonight.

I tried to stay awake last night by watching television and it's interesting because the more actual real life trauma that is going on in my real life the more ridiculously inane the television plots become.  I made it until midnight before my eyes rolled back into my head and my lids closed for good.   At some point in the night I dreamed I was making fresh pizzas and no one turned the oven on.  The kids were trying to cook the pizzas two at a time in my (amazingly dream large) toaster.  I was frantic about feeding a crowd and couldn't stop myself from maniacally assembling pizzas.  I think I was channeling a combination of "Kitchen Nightmares" and "How It's Made".   Thankfully I managed not to dream about Nurse Jackie or US of Tara.  I might never sleep again if I dream morphed those two shows.  (But I totally love them separately when I am awake) 

Is it weird that some couple who saw my stepford house but bought a house in another town keeps trying to buy one of our paintings (a painting we purchased at a gallery) through my realtor?  Get your own painting people!!   Pony up for the whole house or go away!  

I don't have time for such things.

I'm lying, I sent the realtor a link to the artist's current NYC gallery.

Steak for dinner.  Yum Yum.

binged

I happened to notice that someone searched clickmom a couple f times on bing last night.  I showed up first and then there was another clickmom who posted this quesiton on a message board  

"If say my bf were to quit meth, how long does it take to get over the withdrawals from it? I read on another post, that it could be just a week? If its such a short time, why is it the hardest drug to kick? I dont' understand."

I wish the other clickmom was a smoking hot pole dancer rather than a meth addict.  Are there many smoking hot meth addicts pole dancers out there?

It's all gonna work out

I was sitting around thinking how easy it would be to crumble under all of this pressure and how I might have to invite a babe over for an excuse to drink heavily when I noticed these sandals in a sundance catalogue I was browsing. They are fringed buffalo leather and antique studs on a sheep skin lined footbed. There are worse things out there than my huband/bully/new town house woes. I'm gonna be just fine.

enough with the pouring

OMFingG.  I am so pissed!!  It seems that the owners of the house with the horrid kitchen that we are trying to buy got a second offer right after they signed the "binder" for us.  At first they said they were going to honor our offer and now they are saying that they want us to match the higher offer.  We are saying "See you in court!"  But that is totally not how I wanted this to go down.  Need good karma, need good karma.....  

Tomorrow is a bone scan (hopefully some answers) for the husband, a meeting with the educational lawyer about Josh's situation and hopefully a hopeful exchange with the new town real estate lawyer.   Then I am attending an after school rehearsal with Josh for a part in a play it means the world for him to be participate in.  The bully will not be in attendance.  They better not give me a hard time about it.  That might push me over the edge.  Seriously.  Not in the mood.

i can smell pus

One of the reasons why I love good doc so is because he is a nice foil for someone easy to panic such as myself.  Aside from a tendency towards over stressed muscle spasms and a bevy of food intolerances there is nothing truly wrong with me.  I'm pretty satisfied when the good doc hands me a french fry container or a jug and tells me to overnight mail some of my own personal hazardous waste to labs in distant cities.  He always gives me these instructions in a nice calm voice too.

However, I feel that when it comes to the feet (or general lack of health even) of the husband there is sound reason to panic.  And this is why I put a (four) call(s)  in to the good doc yesterday.  Guess who is back in the hospital with infected foot ulcers?  I am rethinking the husband's reliance on the never panicking good doc right now.  During one of our conversations I told the good doc that the husband's foot smelled.  He asked me if it smelled like pus.  I said that I did not know what pus smells like (I'm gagging over here BTW) but that "I've been photographing dead animals and his feet are what is bothering me."   Good doc did not call an ambulance at that announcement.  I eventually decided to ignore the husband's protests and insist he go to the ER.

Three hours later I learned from the ER doctor that now I am able to recognize the smell of pus.  It smells an awful lot like the homeless lady they put in the same ER dock as my grandma back in 1992,  when I had extra super sharp senses because I was pregnant with Matt, and grandma was having one of her faux heart attacks because my mother has just left the city for her annual snow bird migration down to winter in Boca.  The homeless lady's pus scent was much improved by a 2 nurse and one security guard (how I miss city living!) inflicted listerine sponge bath and yet here in the burbs they looked at me like I was crazy when I suggested cracking open a bottle and wiping down the husband's rapidly fermenting foot.  What do they know with their cushy country lifestyles?

I'm going to insist on some more consultations with docs who are more likely to treat this as aggressively as possible, if not for the husband's sake for my own personal sanity.  We are in a difficult position right now, with one foot in stepford and one foot in new town.  I do know the husband has that kind of back up in new town (since he is already working there, I insisted he started to forge medical relationships there) and if need be I'll slip him into the car and drop him off in their capable hands.

UPDATE:  He was septic.  Responding to treatment.  Needs to see infectious disease doc.  Needs a bone scan.  

 

they're all bat shit crazy

Sweet baby Josh got up this morning, got dressed, had a nice goat cheese omelette and we headed off to school with the plan that I would pick him early due to the bullying.  One minute into the two minute drive to school I looked over at Josh and saw the tears welling up in his eyes.  I couldn't bring myself to make him go to school.  I wanted him to go to school.  Hey, I need my time off, but I need a whole and happy kid even more.

Last night Evan, Matt and I had a discussion after Josh went to sleep about what message I'd be sending by keeping Josh home from school.  Evan was adamant that the lesson would be that quitting is okay.  I decided that the message was that Josh doesn't have to put up with that kind of shit.  After all, we did our part by reporting the bullying behavior to the teacher, it is her job to maintain a friendly atmosphere in the class.  I want the message to be that Josh deserves respect and that he does not have to stay in a situation where he doesn't get what he deserves.

Also, I found out that the bully kid is talking trash about Josh when they are out of school and Josh is no where around.  I see now that the bully kid is more troubled than I realized.

Also, the couselor from Josh's school called me to ask me to let her talk to Josh so that when he gets bullied again Josh can feel safe coming to her and then there can be a consequence to the bully with escalating severity until the bully finally realizes that it is not worth bullying people.  She said Josh could spare other children that way.    I wanted to say WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?????   but I more politely said  ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND????? 

I feel like Ashton Kutcher should jump out of a bush and tell me I've been punk'd.

AS IF I would pony up my own sweet baby to use as bully bait?  Someone hold me back.  

I wanna punch that counselor. 

So, lawyers have been called, educational consultants have been called, the therapist has been asked to write a letter ......  bla bla bla.  Josh and I will be taking some educational field trips for the next 6 weeks.  Also, he is my new road kill light diffuser holding assistant!  Yay!  

double road kill- awesome day

I had a surprisingly diplomatic exchange with Josh's principal this morning and afternoon.  Obviously she wants me to keep Josh in school and let her very capable guidance counselor help Josh learn to handle the bullies of the world.  She also would consider moving either Josh or the bully kid into another class.  Also, she did say there was going to be another consequence dealt to the bully kid in lieu of the new discovery of his school year of death threats towards my son.  I'm sure the consequence (which I can not be told of due to privacy issues) will not be harsh enough for me, but honestly, I am working under the assumption that there is something either wrong or missing in the home life a 10 year old who behaves like the bully kid, and am doubtful that the school has the ability to change what is wrong or missing or his behavior with a "consequence."  Just keep him away from my kid.

That being said, Matt's muscle bound friend who believes violence is the answer was visiting today and I was wishing for a just a minute that we still lived in a world where I could send the muscle bound friend off to beat up the bully with a warning to leave Josh the hell alone and Josh could then go on to live carefree and bully free.

I wish.

There is a new cat in town and it has decided that my back yard is as good as a place as any to hang out in the sunshine.  This drives bear bait crazy and subsequently drives me crazy too.  I am going to go out on a limb here and say that bear bait's new habit of barking incessantly at the new cat in town's course of entry and exit is driving anyone within bark hearing distance crazy too.

So, internet, what exactly am I legally allowed to do to deter this interloping cat from hanging out in my yard?  

In other news, I had a great day.  First the nosy neighbor texted me to tell me that there was a rabbit on the road right around the corner.  (Love her!)  Matt happened to be home (he took the day off to go to the DMV) and I got him to be my assistant and hold a light diffuser over the subject.  Yay yay yaaaay.

Then Kitten texted me location of a road kill deer!  It was too good to be true.  A rabbit and a deer in the same day??  Matt's muscle bound friend was here and since Matt wasn't here,  I got the muscle bound friend to come be my light diffusing assistant.  Luckily the deer was in the shade because Matt's friend was not getting very close despite my best attempts.  Chicken.

Now my road kill wish list is a skunk and a possum.  Also, another turtle.  I feel bad for having a wish list as if somehow I am going to cause these animals to be sacrificed for my photographic pleasure.   This is the bane of my existence.  I feel guilty for everything.   

Good F-ing riddance Stepford!!!!!

There was an incident on school with Josh this time.  I wrote the following email to the super star 4th grade teacher who saved Matt's life back when he was clinically depressed after a year with the teacher from hell.  If I knew there wasn't a chance anyone else might see this letter I would have used much stronger language.  I have to send this through the school's email system and you never know.  

Hi Mrs. SuperAwesome!

I'm calling (brilliant, calling, not writing.  Obviously, I'm a super genius) to ask your advice.  Josh is in Mrs. LameTeacher's 4th grade class this year and he has had a miserable experience.  There are about a dozen boys in Josh's class and I think 9 or 10 are from the school across town.  Josh knew no one on the first day.  There are a few kids who have been teasing and taunting him but there is one boy in particular who has been slyly and subtly bullying him since September.  I've been reporting this to Mrs. LameTeacher but her take on the situation has been to tell me that Josh isn't socially up to par. 

On Monday, when the boy and a couple of other kids ganged up on him in the hallway,  Josh finally lost it and grabbed the boy around the neck.  The boy punched Josh in the face and the two of them ended up in Mrs. IneffectivePrincipal's office.  The other boy admitted to teasing Josh and told Mrs. IneffectivePrincipal that he had done it other times before Monday.  I told her the entire tale of Josh being bullied from the very first week of school and some choice words on how I feel about the situation and how it was handled.  (or not handled)  I was so angry at the time I could barely talk without my head exploding. (Which I guess is better than crying!) 

Josh ended up with two AM detentions where he sat in Mrs. IneffectivePrincipal's office.  During the first detention the other boy sat his detention out in the (main) office eating potato chips and staring down Josh through the doorway.  The other boy only got a single detention and was not there this morning when Josh sat out his detention.  I asked Josh if he and the other boy had spoken today and Josh told me that he and the other don't really speak to each other, that the only exchange they have outside the boy teasing him is when the other boy tells him "Shut up or I'll kill you" which he did today because Josh was singing to himself.  I almost fainted when I heard that Josh is being threatened like this practically every day.

I'd like to march in there and demand the other child (or maybe his parents) be whipped in a public square.  I don't want the boys in the same classroom again no matter what.  I admit that right now I am still seeing red and was wondering how you would suggest I handle this.

Thanks.

I wish you were still teaching 4th grade!

Clickmom

hardware and backsplash and faucets oh my!

I spent the day in new town following around the house inspector as he inspected everything in and around the new town house.  I was pleased with his thoroughness.  I was also pleased when at the end of the never ending 4 hour house inspection the inspector declared the new town house totally sound and very well built.  Yay.

Speaking of the new town house, I completely hate the kitchen more and more every time I see it.  I have got to do something about it even if it means spending some of my inheritance that I was hoping to save for the kids.  Here are the problems:  The granite is pink.  PINK with black and gray/white.  The cabinets are an antiqued dark creamy color.  And kind of victorian looking.  The antiquing part of it pretty much just makes them look like they are grimy.  Also, they have more industrial kind of hardware on them.  The back splash is teeny little tumbled marble rectangles in a brick pattern.  And then there is the kitchen island, which is too narrow, has stools on the wrong side of it, and a very awkward little completely unnecessary sink.  Oh yeah, and then there is the frou frou faucets on both of the sinks.  The faucets have got to go.  That is without even question.  

So, to make this kitchen make sense, I have to choose one element to work with and go from there.  I figure if I chose the granite to keep (but pink?)  I can paint the cabinets white or a very light gray which would match, and also replace the backsplash with something matching in the same white gray family.  Also, Maybe replace the whole kitchen island with one that is the right shape for that space.

Or I can replace the granite.  I'm thinking that might be the most expensive of the paths. Also, I'd still have grimy looking cabinets and they still wouldn't jive with the back splash or the hardware.  

I don't know what to do.

Maybe change the hardware, backsplash, faucets, and paint?  

Reface the cabinets?

Invite the cast of the Jersey Shore over and hope they trash it so MTV has to buy me a whole new one?

Misdirected wrecking ball?

Rhino stampede?

Maybe not?

 

Amazing kid made cards