clickmom

house hunting hold up

I have to get over this feeling of every word out of the new town realtor's mouth being as grating and annoying as nails on a chalkboard or people who laugh like hyenas.  We were packing off and heading to new town this morning for some more house hunting and I was getting all annoyingly tensed, stressed,  and worked up the second my eyes popped open (and I realized I was once again wide awake an entire hour before I even had to get out of bed.)

Why? Oh why? Oh why can I not ever just sleep in????

But mostly I was imagining how the new town realtor was going to walk into every single house and try to sell it by pointing out the blatantly obvious (This is a bathroom)  and defending every single peculiar house ridiculousness until I want to throw him down on the ground and choke him unconscious with my bare hands Just to make him SHUT THE HELL UP.

I have it bad.

I was in full throttle funk when we walked out the door this morning.  I slipped into my chilly boots, (kids left the back door open)  preoccupied in dreading the inevitable trudge through mountains of the way too much snow we've been blessed with here in the northeast, and my new town realtor issue and all.   I fumed about my swinging shoe laces, and thought "Oh, I'll just tie them the car."  I slammed the door turned towards the car and found myself standing outside the back door, ready to dodge ice patches but unexpectedly hopping on one foot, trying to juggle the protein shake, hot tea, dvd,  sun glasses, keys and mittens that I had clutched to my chest as I hopped and hopped trying to figure out just why my right leg was not following along with my left leg.  Yup, I slammed my shoe lace in the door was it was not getting unstuck.  Luckily, (thank you team of dedicated trainers!) I am strong enough and balanced enough these days that I was able to get stuck like that and not end up flat on my face.  I started to laugh the laugh of someone who has some serious pent up emotions and was guffawing so hard that I couldn't talk to tell the family why I wasn't coming.  I could only point and gesture and guffaw until the tears streamed down my cheeks and Evan came back over to pick up the keys and unlock and open the door to release my right foot boot lace.

I was still all agitated when I laid eyes on the new town realtor.

We've decided to start conversation over one property and see what comes on the market after the superbowl.  I hear that is a popular time to put your house on the market.

 

tumbling

I've been an absolutely shameful dog owner this past couple of weeks because I am petrified of slipping on the street.  The older I get the more (CRAZY) fearful I get.  I was feeling guiltier than usual this morning about the lack of walking, so when faced with the choice of walking and house cleaning, I decided that the roads were 95% clear.  Which was true, so naturally I didn't slip until I had completed about 95% of the walk and then I hit a patch of black ice and would have done a split if I had ever been able to do a split a day in my life, but what I did instead was an almost split ending on my left knee.  

Which could have been worse, because I am also (CRAZY) fearful of leg frostbite ever since that day I got 2 inch frostbite strips around both legs when I wore my exercise pants with my boots and left 2 inches of exposed skin vulnerable to the elements during bear bait's walk.   I had on two pairs of pants for this morning's walk, and I think that is why I did not skin, but merely bruised my left knee.  Whew.

My hip/groin muscles however, did not fare quite as well.  I won't go into details.  But, like, owww.

As if that wasn't funny enough, I had already made a stretching appointment with the stretcher for today.  Long time readers will remember that being stretched by the stretcher involves me lying face up on the stretching table while the stretcher does all kinds of stretching karma sutra techniques on top of me and my rigid legs/hips/arms/shoulders, etc.  Today I was making idle chit chat while the stretcher worked stretching magic on me and all of a sudden he just kind of slowly nose dived off the side of the table.  Except we were tangled up so my lower half kind of slowly went with him.  And then the two of us were half on and half off the table and we froze because neither of us knew what to do.  He was balanced on his hands with his legs on the table and I had somehow shot one of my legs down to the floor so were kind of a 2 person two hand and one leg tripod.  

The we unfolded/untangled/dismounted ourselves and regained our composure.  I complimented him on his speedy reflexes since he caught himself instead of face planting on the floor and he politely returned the complement to my one grounded stable leg, which he claimed supported us both half in the air.  It was awkward.  He tried to continue on with the stretching but I just kept replaying the whole bizarre debacle in my head and laughing myself silly, so we ended.  The only thing that could have made that event better would have been a witness, preferably one with a video camera.  Oh how I'd love to see the instant replay on that one.  I'd probably put that tumble on a loop.

 

excuses for cranky

About every 4 cycles or so I get into this crazy raw nerve ending homicidal mood.  Every time it happens I just want to run far far away and stay in some posh hotel with the heat turned up watching chick flicks and ordering room service until I feel normal again.  I've had a rough couple of days.

First and foremost in the rough time department is the hormones,  coming in a close second has been my own love-child EVAN!  You see my photo friend John has been staying in our house as he desperately tries to win the mega millions tie up all of his loose ends and go back to Australia where he came from. (And where I would certainly not be able to understand a word anyone says because HOLY COW I suck at understanding accents)  Evan, in what would be kind of adorable if I was hormonally stable and if all of his protectiveness of the husband's territory wasn't expressed as obnoxiousness brattiness towards me, has been more angry and combative than usual and I'm pretty sure his testosterone is all flowing because he feels like there is another silverback in his father's territory.  He has been better for the past 7 or so hours, ever since I took him into his room to have a psychotic breakdown during which I threatened to get in my car and drive until I felt better, which meant I'd be driving into the pacific, and other crap that would never happen, and he knows it, but he got the message.

Another reason I am feeling down is because I measured my calves.  I knew I had a big calves, but always kind of figured they looked bigger than they are because I also have spindly ankles.  I was sad sad sad when the new boots I ordered to replace the boots that have been mysteriously MIA the past two weeks fit like a dream until I tried to zip the new boots up over my calves.  It wasn't happening.  So, I measured my calves.  My calves are 18.5 inch rock hard stress storage compartments.  18.5!!  The boots have room for 14 inchers.  I had to order new boots.  Maybe my spindly ankles are actually regular? 

I thought I'd do some cleaning today.  I also thought I'd do some painting because my painting class was cancelled for the second time yesterday.  (we've missed 2 of the three classes so far!)  But, no, I did none of that.  I didn't do much of anything.  I did manage to swing by Blockbuster and pick up a couple of DVDs I'd like to watch with the kids.  We'll watch one tonight.

I also swung by the liquor store, because you gotta be in it to win it!  Yup, mama got some lottery tickets.  Wouldn't that be nice???   

And naturally I made it to the posh club, where I kicked some ass on the expresso bike.  Or, rather I could say the expresso bike kicked my ass, but either way I was panting and sweaty and I beat the pacer (who was going 150 rpm) even though I keep accidentally shifting in the wrong direction because the shifters don't make sense to me.  Also, this sounds weird, but someone must have moved the expresso bike, and it wasn't parallel to the walls of the room and I had to fight off the urge to stop pedaling and straighten out the bike.  I would have done it if I wasn't so worried about getting past the pacer too.  Eventually I was able to stop thinking about the horribly slanted bike positioning, so I consider today's kick ass expresso bike riding session and extra triumph. 

Oh yeah, this chatty woman came over to chat with me during my last .2 miles and she said she could think of maybe one other woman in the whole posh club who can go that pace.  She said she looked up to me.  She asked me exercise questions as if I had all the answers!  Freaky.

 

Still cranky and yet humbled

count down to bed

I just the love all the utopian people.  They are all so enamored with utopia, just like I am.  We bond.  And the funny thing is that their little slice of heaven can't even hold a candle to my little slice of heaven, according to me.  

I kind of sold a photo at the utopian shin dig last night.  It was a fund raiser and they asked me to donate a framed photo.  There was a silent auction, and I have to tell you that the woman who went home with my photo was probably the classiest lady there.  Even she didn't have such stellar taste in art, I'd say the same thing.  As I figured out where the other utopians lived, I kept saying over and over that I have a photo with their property in it.  Next summer I hope to go up to utopia with a big portfolio of stuff for sale.  I need a gallery ..... in a rich neighborhood.  I'd have to look outside of utopia for that. 

Currently I am so bone dead tired that I am pretty much one 5'7" RAW NERVE.  My children are unable to understand the seriousness of this situation. There is screaming.  It comes from me.

We house hunted again today.  It was depressing as usual, and STRESSFUL.  It was so stressful, in fact, that I felt the need to shovel any and everything within reach into my mouth.  It was a bad eating day for me.  I feel terrible.  Really.  I know I am going to wake up all swollen.  Damn it.

I want my dream house in one certain location.  I really am hoping that we can renovate or tear down, and there are two big reasons for this fantasy.  1. pressure assisted toilets.  2. I like a (gas) stove on the kitchen island and not a sink.   Also, enough space for my space requiring family.  My brood takes up a lot of space.  We did see something that we could move into tomorrow.  It wasn't perfect in the toilet or the stove department, but otherwise it was workable.  A weeny bit odd with too many chopped up rooms,  and just beyond the fringe of where I hoped to be, but it had a lot of seductive built ins, so I could live there.  And believe me, once we make the decision, I will not look back.  This sucks.  The truth is, I just like my stepford home.  Evan and Josh and I all agree on that.  

I'm so excited about getting into my memory foam assisted comfy bed (1.5 hours to go!) that a tear just slid down my left cheek.  

Blinged

There a party in utopia tonight. I remembered my slim black pants and my silvery blouse but I forgot my party shoes in stepford. My utopian friend asked me what shoes I had available. I said I had boots and sneakers. She said wear your boots and add some bling. How did I do?

Safe or unsafe

I don't think the spare firewood is located in a safe place. The husband thinks it's fine. Anyone?

I left Matt home alone for the weekend. He had stuff to do and I neeeeded to be utopia. There is a party tomorrow. I want to be there.

I'm all melancholy remembering the one time my parents left me and little sis home alone for a weekend. I threw an awesome party. My secret crush came. Nothing happened between us but I was still thrilled that he was there.

Hopefully matt didn't have enough advanced notice to plan anything. Also I am calling my kind of nosy neighbor and asking her to check on him. But he doesn't know that.

WA HOO

We went house hunting in new town again Sunday.  I've been kind of bummed since Sunday.  I don't want to talk about it.  

Tuesday was supposed to be the first day of the new weight loss contest.  But it was snow/icing and the schools had a delayed opening.  And I couldn't get to the posh club in time.  I felt terrible but when I did make it to the posh club, two hours later, I found out that not one person from my team made it and I was the only one who called.  So, today was our official first day.  Our trainer seems good, very different from the stretcher, she's all soft and delicate.  She does a lot of stabilizing type exercises with us, as opposed tot eh stretcher who goes for the major muscle groups.  It will be a good mix.  I'll have to get used to her different style.  The other ladies in my class seemed a bit apathetic, but I'll spread my exercise joy to those slackers.  I kind of (seriously) hate it when people are a little whiny and lazy.  Some people were that way today.  I'll change that.

Just got the call that tomorrow has been declared a delayed opening.

WA HOO!!!

Mom hates getting up early.

Yay painting!

I spent 45 minutes on the arc trainer today.  I get a thrill when I outlast everyone in the (albeit small) room on their various machines.  Someone lost their sweat towel on the way out of the room and it happened to fall right behind my arc trainer.  When another exerciser left, he picked up the towel and waved it towards me.  I said "It's not mine", but he didn't want to hear that and he put the sweaty towel of an unknown person which he picked up off of the dirty posh club floor right on my water bottle.  I said in my angry mom voice "It's not mine!" and he took it back, but still ... there were floor/sweat cooties on my water bottle!  And the ick was right on the drinking nozzle.  The lady at the next arc trainer caught my eye and gave me a look of pity.  I glanced at the cootie covered water bottle and stuck my tongue out and then the lady finished on her arc trainer and when she grabbed the antibacterial wipes to wipe down her equipment she grabbed one for me which she put right on top of my water bottle.  As if.  There was no way I was going to even entertain the idea of sucking on my own water bottle.  Antibacterial wipes?  Ickier than floor/sweaty towel.  I unscrewed the not bacterial anymore but still ICK top and dribbled all over myself when I tried to gulp some down.  

I've been really restricting the carbs.  But today I felt weak at the posh club.  So I nibbled a little carb stuff here and there, with some fruit and rice, blah blah blah.  Hopefully tomorrow I'll have some fuel.  We'll see.

I'm seeing the cranial sacral therapist for the first time since last June.  I'm so hoping she can do something about my shoulder which is kind of killing me lately.  I've been spending a lot of time sitting with the heating pad shawl wrapped around my shoulders.  I think the new cushy memory foam mattress topper makes me more comfortable at night.  My shoulder and my new mattress topper are happy together.  Now if only I could find a pillow that makes my neck just as happy.

Tomorrow I go to a painting class.  Yay painting!  I did it all through college, I can't wait to see if I still have it in me.

L x 3

Last night I slept on the stinky memory foam mattress pad topper because in the few hours between rolling it out and my bed time it had puffed up into a stinking delicious squishy pad of alluring cloud like temptation.  So I wrapped my fitted sheet around stinky and collapsed.  You won't believe this but I slept until 9 o'clock this morning.  I woke up with the sun (you don't need shades if you don't sleep during daylight hours) shining on my confused puffy from an astounding 10 hours of sleep face and couldn't figure out why there were no numbers on my digital alarm clock.  I've never seen that clock with sun shining directly on it before.  I thought the miraculous stinky mattress topper was the reason for my record breaking slumber, until I tried to drink something.  Yup.  Sore throat, swollen glands.  Oh well.  

Tomorrow me and my big sick neck are hopping into the truck with the kids and heading for new town.  Yup.  It's house hunting time.  The one house that I saw and kind of loved (free standing artist's studio ...sob) seems to be off the market.  We don't know if it sold or if they just took it off the market.  (sob.free.standing.artist's.studio.sob)  So, now if I see something else that I like I'll be more aggressive about it.  Oh, yeah, the husband has to like it too.  Sometimes I forget that we are going to live together again.  Here is part of the problem, I want to fix something up so it can be just the way I want it and the husband wants something that is move in condition.  But we both agree on the most important thing, location, location, location.  Cross your fingers for me.