clickmom

Multiple choice

A. The mailman got a low riding truck
B. Bear bait is in charge of getting the mail from now on
C. Matt's friend drove to our house to work on a science project

an update and five actually-ies (actuallyes? actuallies?)

Late as usual.  My apologies to the Hot 10o once again.

You can just read the last 8 entries, they are all the same.  It's pretty embarrassing, actually.  I'm stuck in a do nothing place.  Except exercise, but that's because I just love exercising, and truth be told I'm sure that is because I am one of the people who can really feel the endorphin rush.  I'm just as optimistic and even sometimes giddy as can be after a good workout.  And I don't waste my time in the posh club.  I exercise like I mean it, cause I do.  It feels so good.

Until it doesn't, which is where I was heading this week, actually.  As a person who can throw things out by looking to the side, it seems I managed to somehow lock up my right shoulder blade and jam my head into my neck, all of which has caused me to be even more bizarrely asymmetrical than usual, which is also causing me some pain alternating with totally annoying numbness.   Like my face going numb when I lie down on my back in the sauna.  That is not a comforting feeling.  Also I noticed that when I was reconquering the arc trainer the other day I was pushing down harder on my right side than my left side which made me think that I was walking all ghetto like a rapper and then I got all giggly on the arc trainer but was able to pass it off as laughter over something said on the Wendy WIlliams show, which is what I was alternate watching with the cloyingly saccharine and oh so incredibly synthetic (I really hope this doesn't come back to bite me in the ass one day)  KLG and her poor diplomatic, hopefully raking in the bucks because OMG look what she has to contend with,  side kick Hoda. Wendy is funny once you get past the accent.  I'd sit on her couch.  Of course, I'd have to get famous first, and after almost 6 years of blogging and single digit dedicated readers, I'm thinking isn't goign to happen via the blogoshpere, you know?  I have to find a new way.

But I don't do this for the attention (THAT WAS A CLEAR AND OUTRIGHT LIE) I do this for the personal satisfaction and writing exercise.  hahahaha.

Can you guess who is overtired tonight?  I get giddy when I am sleep deprived.

Actually, what I really wanted to tell you tonight was this:  I was driving in the car with Josh today when the AWESOME Gladys Night came on the radio singing Midnight Train To Georgia.  I tell Josh "This is an awesome song." and he says "But I thought The Midnight Train was going anywhere."  Bwah ha ha ha.

Actually, I wanted to tell you one more thing.  My brilliant kid Evan thinks his science teacher hates him.  Evan's science teacher had just made a big deal over forcing Evan to spit out some gum when, according to Evan half the class was chewing gum and she didn't say a word to the other kids.  Knowing Evan, I asked him if he had been correcting (challenging) the teacher in class, which (no surprise here) he has.  My brilliant kid Matt was in the car (best time to chat with kids, BTW) for this conversation and told Evan that he used to correct his teachers too, but when he was a freshman and his teacher called him a condescending asshole he realized that teachers don't want to hear it when they are wrong so since then he'd just been keeping his mouth shut.  I pulled up to Evan's school just then and after a full 5 seconds of weighing his big brother's sage (just get through secondary education with your mouth shut) advice Evan decided to grab a giant replica of a wrigley spearmint gum package and place it on his desk during science class.  He jumped out of the vehicle and went his merry way.  

I once sat there during parent teacher conferences (back when I was the teacher and not a parent yet) recounting the many many ways this particular child was having difficulties in school when I realized that each of these traits were just what made a grown up successful in the real world.  So I told the parent this too, and we agreed not to try to beat the kid into conformist submission but to instead celebrate his strengths while teaching him how to play the game.  I told Evan he was welcome to the giant gum package as long as he handed in every single homework assignment and kept acing all his tests.  At least this time when the principal calls it won't take me by surprise.

Actually, I just can't stop here.  There was something else funny that happened today.  My SIL, who if you recall can be quite short tempered and grumpy (understated) with her own kids, made a big announcement at lunch today.   She has decided that she misses working and she is starting her own business, which is going to be a place where kids go to take little kid exercise classes and have birthday parties.  I hope I did a good job at hiding my shock.  Never in a million years would I have thought that she would choose to work with kids.  Once lunch was over and my nuclear family was in the car driving away Matt gently asked if anyone else thought it was kind of ironic that SIL would open a kid oriented business.  We all agreed and then he acted out an imitation of my SIL realizing that a kid was standing beside her and in his best overly exaggerated (he sounds like a transvestite when he does this)  jersey girl accent he pretends to be in shock and disgust that there is a kid standing next to him.  I laughed so hard I almost drove off the road.  OMG people,  I feel like visited the twilight zone.  I now have no idea which way is up.  

 

last chance

Monday night I had another gall bladder attack.  It wasn't a total surprise,  all day long I had taken way too many nibbles of stuff I shouldn't have.  I only got about half the sleep I need.  I really do need my eight hours.

Tuesday my plan was to have the plumber over at 8:30 for a quick drain de-clogging and toilet running resolution.  I thought it should take an hour tops.  That did take about an hour, which was just what I thought it would take and then I was going to nap, posh club, and grocery shop.  The very super nice plumber asked me on his way out if he could put a sticker on the hot water heater with the plumber's phone number.  I said sure.  We walked down to the basement together and we saw IT together.  There was a problem, which could be easily fixed, the plumber had the stuff in the van.  And then he tested some pressure regulator thing.  Uh oh.  He'd have to drive to the warehouse for this one.  Two more hours later, my eyes were rolling back in my head, and the very nice plumber was finally finished.  I went to bed and couldn't sleep due to the not at all pleasant sound of nail guns popping and huge boards of ply wood crashing to the ground in the not very distance.  My backyard diagonal neighbor sold her house to a builder.  They razed it and are building another McMansion for stepford.   The builder foolishly regraded that lot too, so at least it will be good for some laughs in the spring when there are heavy rains and I can watch the panic ensue from my driveway as the builder scrambles to drain the flooded basement.  I was a zombie who didn't get anything done for the rest of the day. 

I did make it to the posh club yesterday, but didn't have enough time to shower afterwards.  I ran errands in stinky work out clothes, face shiny, with a dried sweat pony tail.  Every time I turned around yesterday afternoon I saw one of my fresh faced friends out and about.  It just didn't seem fair.  

So the only thing I had on my calendar for today's school hours was to go to the posh club.  Yes, that is on my calendar!  I lingered at home doing dishes and laundry this morning.  Then I went to the posh club.  I figured I'd come home, grab a gall bladder friendly lunch, and take bear bait for a nice long walk to make up for being a less than stellar dog owner this week.  Once I found my hat, scarf, gloves, etc ....  (It was a mere 27 degrees out today)  I took bear bait down to the power lines, where she can frolic off leash as I walk a straight line, and she runs gleefully around.  I was finally having my peaceful smooth running day.  Before long my nose was indicating the presence of fresh (yet extra foul)  poopies.  I walked faster to get away form it.  Then I smelled it again and again and I started looking at the bottom of my precious comfy fleecy boots.  My boots were safe, but I saw some disturbing streaks of yellow poopies on the side of bear bait.  Oh! Yes!  She did it again!  

I hustled home, trying very hard not to let bear bait rub against my coat.  I tied bear bait up to the garage door, tested both hoses in hopes that one of them wasn't full of frozen water.  No luck.  I grabbed a rogue pail that's been floating around the back yard, the doggy shampoo, two rubber gloves that thankfully fit over my running gloves so my hands wouldn't freeze, and I commenced the bathing of the poopies off of bear bait.  She cried.  I cried.  She cried.  I cried and then finally I was done and I unleashed her and she ran around with such force she could have burst right through a brick wall.  I know because she ran into my legs and they buckled, luckily I was next to the stair rail.  Did I mention it was 27 degrees outside? It was not a nice way to end the day.  And my super comfy boots got pretty wet.  

I've got one more chance to have a perfectly pleasant day this week and I am banking on tomorrow.

warm toes

I must be getting really old because I am so not into winter anymore.  I'm feeling wimpy.  There was a time in my life when I was virtually impervious to the cold, but I notice the last few winters I just look out the window with my fingers crossed hoping for mild weather.

Last winter me and my previously permanently cold toes were sitting with a friend chatting and leafing through her Sundance catalog when I declared "You see, I'd buy stuff from this catalog if it only came in my size.  Like these boots, I'd totally buy these boots if they came in a 12." and wouldn't you know upon closer inspection, those boots did come in size 12!  I ran home and immediately went on Sundance's web site to see what other delightful (boat size) foot goodies came in my size.  None.  They had one boot that came in  (boat size) my size.  So I ordered it.  And now I have delightful warm and toasty shearling boots that have that ever so sexy "I look like a nomad crossing the frozen tundra" look and the truth is that they are so cozy that if only I could figure out a way to take my jeans on and off without removing the boots I just might turn down the thermostat and wear the boots to sleep.

That being said, it's freaking cold here. Today I wore a polar fleece pull over as a shirt.    I was remembering the winter I was pregnant with Josh, and we were renovating our house and didn't have heat so we had little space heaters in the two rooms we huddled  in that winter.  Luckily for me, polar fleece maternity wear was in style that season and I lived in it.  I wonder how much polar fleece I could pull off this winter.  Or maybe it's time to embrace some cashmere.  Or, to go with my boots, I could just layer on some animal skins.  Or move to a warmer climate.

obviously

I've been taking pleasure in the sauna again.  I just love the sauna.  It's such a treat after a killer workout.  I just go in there, lie down on the nice hot wood bench and bake bake bake.  Love it.

Usually I just lie there and let my mind wander.  But the last few times I've been trying to do some visualization to see what the @#$%&* is going on in my head that is the reason behind me keeping me fat.  My plan was to visualize me in a not fat state doing what I do on an average day to see how I feel in different situations and around people.  Basically, me in a thin state alone?  And I'm lying there in the sauna smiling as much as I'm sweating, but, me in my imagination with other people, such as the other people in my life each and every day, and that is where the problem lies.  So all I have to do to is run away and live in total seclusion away from civilization.

I knew I'd figure it out! 

holiday card shot finally!

This better not turn up on any eastern european billboard either!  Hands off internet!  

PS If anyone knows a good teenage boy hair dresser for Evan, let me know!  I've given up on Matt and Josh is letting his grow out for Locks Of Love.  More on that later.

Yawning through another update

 

Okay, my last 100 days are going out in somewhat of a fizzle (with the one exception of exercise, naturally.)

Exercise: My legs have now surpassed strong into the freakishly strong category.  Case in point: I got on what used to be my total nemesis , the arc trainer, the other day, and decided I would see just how high I could push the resistance before I couldn't do it anymore.  Every two minutes I increased the resistance by 5.  I figured I'd start in the high side because I didn't have all day.  I warmed up at 50, went right to 65 and ended up increasing the stride length too once I got in the 80's resistance until I was at a 7/10 in the stride length and zipping along at 100/100 resistance.

But the wonderful thing was that the next day my knees were unusually pain free, so two days later I went for a redo to see if it was the arc trainer that had indeed blessed me with a grimace free knee day, and I went straight for the high reisitance and long strides and ended up at 100/100 after only 16 or sominutes, so I stayed there until I was at 10/10 for the stride length and I was still zipping right along.

Point?  Maxing out wasn't a freak occurrence,  I have no where to go on the arc trainer, except for faster.  (insert psychic painful cry out loud sound)  I guess that could be my next goal.  I think what I need to do is start wearing a heart monitor and correlate my speed to some advanced heart rate.  My heart rate at the end of max resistance and stride was only in the mid 140's.  It used to be that mid 140's would have been considered a goal heart rate for me but I'm pretty sure the new thinking is to ramp that rate up even higher.  It's a better fat burner right?

Cleaning:  hahaha.  I tossed a charity bag of ridiculously small shirts that no longer fit Josh together, but his room is still somewhat (ENTIRELY) buried in stuff.  I need to spend a few hours in there.  Maybe this weekend?  hahaha

Food: with the whole new gall bladder complication here, I have ended up substituting sugars for fats.  I've given up red meats and nuts, and my gall bladder is thankful for that.  Eating way too much sugar, which scares me for it's ability to feed cancer, my not so secret fear in life.  Also, because Josh is gluten free now too, I have all these gluten substitutes in the house, like fake bread, muffins, brownies, pasta, and other crap, and I am all over them.  I really need to be dropped in the middle of no where so I can eat things that come from the ground or fall off of trees.  Then I'd be healthy.  

enlightened

Matt was featured in a local paper for starting the Gay Straight Alliance in his high school.  A lesbian mom who lives nearby stopped me today and told me read the article and asked me to tell Matt how much she appreciated what he had done and how much it meant to her.  I was telling this to Evan while I was cooking dinner and thought how nice it might be to have another woman around the house to share in the cooking and other house hold chores.   I said "Evan how would you like to have two mothers?"  He immediately said "That would suck", which kind of surprised me, I'm trying to raise enlightened kids over here.  Dismayed,  I asked "Why?" and he said "Because they make 75 cents to the dollar and we'd be strapped for cash all of the time."  BWAH HA HA HA.  

exactly twice

Long time readers will recall that just hours before my dad's life ending stroke took him away from us, dad promised lil sis and me that he'd return in the after life to visit us and that he would leave our closet lights on for us to know that he was around. Just a few weeks after his death I woke up one night to find that the hallway closet light just outside my bedroom was on.  The rays of light were shining through the cracks around the double doors and it was ... heavenly.  I knew it was dad.  My bedroom is on the top floor of our house, it used to be the attic.  None of the kids ever come up here let alone leave a light on.  Yesterday I was thinking a lot about my dad, trying to be supportive of my friend who lost her dad.  Guess what was on again last night!  The very same hall closet light.  I just looked up and said Hello to my dad.  I'm sure he came around to let me know he knew I was thinking about him.  It's so comforting.  Seriously, in 10 years that light has been on exactly twice.  It's more than a coincidence.

I never thought

I paid another shiva call yesterday afternoon.  This one was for a friend who lost her father to cancer.  The friend kept introducing me to her extended family as "My really good friend who is an awesome photographer."  That was nice.  And a little surprising.  As always I wanted to remove myself and just sit in the corner because I didn't want to say the wrong thing.  As I was trying to leave I found myself first next to the widowed stepmother of my friend, and then holding her hand, as she was so in shock that she couldn't stand steady.  I said a few things to her.  I brushed her cheek.  I was uncomfortable.  As I finally slid out the door my friend told me how glad I came because she said she had known I would know the exact the right thing to say.  And she thanked me.  She said she knew it would be good for her step mother to talk with me.  I was surprised.  I don't think about myself like that. 

Last week when I working out with the stretcher I was doing the squat press machine.  Thinking that I wasn't pushing hard enough with 140 pounds, between rounds he slid the pin to the 160 pound plate.  Just then another one of his clients came over to ask the stretcher a quick question, glanced at me and said "You are my idol" and went on her way.  The first thought that went through my head?  "She sees me?  She notices?"  I couldn't believe I wasn't invisible.  Also, I never thought about myself as idol material.