I had an awkward amount of time today between returning home with groceries and heading down to the middle school to pick up Evan and his BF. I decided to make the best of it and let bear bait hop in the car, drive down to the middle school, get a primo parking spot since I'd be there so early, and walk bear bait in the beautiful (I wish it was still summer) sunshine until the kids were released. I was driving down my street when I saw a man sitting at the apron of his driveway. It was such an odd sight that it took a minute for me to process that the man wasn't gardening but had fallen and that what I thought was a ladder was actually a walker lying it's side.
I slammed on my brakes and asked the man if he needed help. (duh!) He reluctantly said he did and I ran out to help him. I got him on his feet, collected his mail and insisted on escorting him into his house. He was so embarrassed. I could see a port sticking out from underneath his shirt, so I asked him if he had just gotten out of the hospital. He had. He has bladder cancer. He had been on different chemotherapies for the last three years and this latest one was really hitting him hard.
The man reminded me so much of my dad. It was hard not to cry. I was thinking about the friends and neighbors that looked out for my dad after my mom died. I felt so grateful for them. I hoped I was paying the world back in some karmic pay it forward way.
We walked into the man's basement family room (on the same level as his driveway) and I helped him clean up a couple of scrapes he had gotten on his face and wrist. I kept telling him where I lived (just about 5 houses down the street) so that I didn't seem as foreign and intrusive as I imagine he thought I was. I could tell he was in shock over taking a tumble and maybe humiliated that this strange lady was taking care of him. The man's wife had left him alone to go to her weekly card game, and I immediately felt for her too. She was trying to carry on despite her life long partner being so desperately ill.
I left the man in his basement den and worried about him all afternoon. I was worried that the man had been so embarrassed that he had concealed some injury from the fall and lied about his wife coming home soon. I asked him if he was taking blood thinners about 4 times. He said he wasn't. I thought about going back to his house to check on him, but didn't want to embarrass him even more. Finally I realized how I could check on the man! I called that nosier than me neighbor, she called the wife, and I found out that the man is bruised, but otherwise fine.
Whew for tonight.
My heart is still breaking for the man.
Oh wow, Click, this brought tears to my eyes. The port, the falling, the frailty, the pride ... that's my dad!
I doubt he'd mind you popping in again to say 'hi' - cancer can be such an isolating experience. But even if you deem it better not to, you have been carrying him in thought and deed.
Posted by: Pippa | September 14, 2010 at 12:17 AM
As embarassed as he was, I am sure he was very thankful you stopped. Too many people in today's world choose to just pass on by. Smart thinking on calling NTY neighbor! :-)
Posted by: South Beach Steve | September 15, 2010 at 07:42 AM