FOOD dammit

Arrrgggghh. I'm so on top of the exercise and so struggling with the food.

I've been having some extra anxiety over a couple of issues that I am not comfortable writing about here. Not that I wouldn't tell you, it's just that I couldn't tell you without violating some one else's privacy, so just bear with me when I tell you that there is a situation that is causing me anxiety on it's own plus some bonus anxiety because of my very heavily packed bursting at the seams luggage. My first knee jerk reaction to anxiety? Hand to mouth. Anything (not forbidden) will do, but chocolate (dairy free) or any other form of seriously refined evilness is my first reach. It's so wrong. And not only does the eating do NOTHING for the current cause of excess anxiety but it ultimately increases my general higher than it should be level of day to day anxiety because I do truly believe deep down inside that one day I will wake up, look in the mirror and all this hard work losing what I have lost already will be gone- snap- just like that! Bad magic.

Sadly for me, I have discovered that I am not allergic to goat's milk, and there exists a very chocolatey goat's milk chocolate ice cream. I'm actually very sad to know that. I do have some hope that I am also not allergic to sheep's milk, and there can be stinky farm animal smelling cheese in my future, which would be undoubtedly tastier than an all encompassing milk deprived life, but would it be healthier? I'm not sure I want to go down that street. I need a nutrition expert.

Feeling a bit overwhelmed with that crap in my head this week. I working very hard with TWO therapists now trying to get to the root of my problem. I know the only way to get the body healthy is to start with what is going on between my ears.