clickmom

I know how David Banner felt

First I'm driving IN FREAKING TRAFFIC and I can see the moon come up. Just stab me through the eyeballs with a knife. The only place I want to be is utopia. Then there is a spectacular sunset over my left shoulder. I keep trying to shout to the kids over the video they are distracting themselves with. I point I wave I want them to notice how spectacular the view is. I want them to oooh and aaah. They know what I want and they try.

I'm ready to turn green grow a few feet and burst out of the car. I want to find a mountain with an uninstructed view. Or a big open lake. I try to appreciate that I a can peek at the glorious sunset. It could be worse. I could be in my kitchen not noticing at all. But I do see it and I can't see it the way I want to. Arrrggghhh.

my favorite road trip memory

What's your favorite road trip memory?
Submitted by Birch Counseling.

 When I was a college freshman, sad and a thousand miles away from home, two friends of mine "abducted" me for my birthday.  While I was at classes during the day my friends (with the help of my entire dorm floor) packed up most of my things, including the giant pylon that was our inside joke,  shopped for goodies like shrimp and brie cheese, and found a friend who would part with his car for the weekend.    The two friends blindfolded me and put me in the borrowed car.  Initially during the trip I guessed every place I could imagine they might take me but had no idea that we would end up spending the weekend at the secluded Smokey Mountain cabin of one friend's grandparent's, cooking gourmet food, drinking good wine, hiking in the woods (with pylon), singing at the top of our lungs, and sleeping in front of a blazing fire.

At the time, this weekend get away was just what I needed to forget my homesickness,  be relieved of the pressures of college life, and know that I was loved and cared for.  I'm 44 years old and the weekend of my 18th birthday still ranks among the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.

pleasantly surprised

Okay.

Wednesday was the Spicy Orange-Glazed Drumsticks with Green Beans dinner.  It was partially whole food's fault that this was not a successful dinner because they didn't stock real orange marmalade.  They only had the "all fruit" version and that just doesn't have the right consistency.  The part I was to blame for was overcrowding the chicken in a pan instead of spreading them out on a cookie sheet like the recipe said and also, not having a brush (it's in utopia) with which to spread the glaze.

My kids like raw green beans, so I didn't bother steaming them, even though I would have preferred them cooked.  

Evan: (non-committal) It's pretty good.

Josh: (also non-commital) Yeah.  I like it.

Evan: I'm not really a big fan of the sauce

Matt: Nehh.  I'm not really a big fan of the chicken.

Evan: Okay. I lied to you. mumble mumble.

They ate it anyway.

Thursday was Roasted Pork With Brussels Sprouts and Apricots.  The only variation I did for this dinner was to use dried apricots that had not been treated with sulfur so they were dark and brownish instead of bright orange.  Also, there was no starch in this meal (same deal for last monday's meal.  Aren't we cooking for kids here?  All the recipes are for four people.)  so I picked up a nice big baguette for the kids who would not find a meal complete without some serious carbs.

To be honest with you, I had my doubts on this one for two reasons.  The first was the lack of seasoning on the pork.  My kids are used to marinated, brined or heavily herbed pork dishes.  The second reservation I had was brussels sprouts.  Enough said.  I prepared the food and handed them plates.

Matt: I don't know what it is but I love the vegetable-ey thing.  Tastes like there is nuts in there.  (it's sliced almonds)

Evan: Yeah.

Evan: Very good.

Matt: I like the pork. It's very plain- it's not bad just plain.

Josh: Yup.  They are good.

Me to Josh: You like the vegetables?

Josh: Yeah.  The vegetables are awesome.

(He didn't eat them but Matt and Evan did!)

Tonight's meal was Spaghetti With Sweet Potatoes And Ricotta.  There wasn't a doubt in my mind that we would be ordering a pizza once I presented the family with this meal.  Obviously I had to make substitutes for my own meal (rice pasta-blech) and I had to leave out the parmesan and ricotta cheese, so I have no idea what the rest of the family was tasting.  Once again they surprised me.

Matt: I enjoy this meal!

Evan: Mmmmm Hmmmm!!

Matt: I think it's exquisite!

Evan: Mmmm Hmmmm!!!

Josh: (half-heartedly) It's good. 

Husband: Um, you know, I don't like sweet potatoes, but it's good as modified. (I held back on the sweet pots for him) 

So, week one of the Real SImple experiment was successful in 4/5 of the meals.  I am happy.  Stay tuned for next week's results!  I'm taking the weekend off from cooking and eating out.

overusing the suffix -ness

I jumped into Josh's bed this morning to hug his extreme huggableness awake.  He woke up happy as usual.  He rolled over and with all the AM pleasantness in the world he cheerfully said "Hi Mom.  My throat hurts.  I have strep."  

Turns out he was right.  Dammit.

At first I had trouble shifting out of "things to do" mode and heard myself say to Josh "If you stay home from school you have to walk the dog with me." and then I came to my senses and said "Go lie down" and the dog didn't get walked today.  I was totally okay with that after yesterday's roll in some most likely human (as determined by this mother's keen sense of smell) diarrhea episode and subsequent hosing down and lathering up while tethered to the garage door unpleasantness.  Oh yes she did! 

I did manage to see my babes today (Josh hid in the corner with his lap top) and wildmom assured me that the familiar voice that I subjected to my gaseousness last night outside the middle school was a good sport.

Speaking of gas, I gotta lay off the dried fruit.  Naturally this evening's Real SImple meal featured brussel sprouts.  And I have left overs for tomorrow's lunch.  Stand back.  Promise to let you know all about the final three meals of this week tomorrow.  (Hint: Real SImple isn't batting a thousand anymore)

When Matt and Evan came home from school I suggested that Matt drive me to the store to pick up bread and seltzer.  On the way home Matt got "comfortable" behind the wheel (despite my insistence that he is not allowed to be relaxed about driving until he is 25) and as we approached a yellow light he began to say he thought he'd go through it.  I commanded him to stop and when he didn't quite stop I yelled STOP STOP which he interpreted as STOP STOPPING so he ended up going through the red light and luckily we only suffered the venomous stares of the other drivers who hopefully clued into Matt's newness of driving by the big purple vein throbbing on my forehead as I passionately explained to him that stop will always mean stop and never mean stop stopping.  Stop stopping will forever be expressed as GO GO GO! which is what I normally say when Matt inexplicably stops for no reason at all, like right in the middle of an intersection or when he sees a green light 200 yards away.

I have more gray hair today than I did when I woke up yesterday.  Of that I am sure.

not silent still deadly

I spent the evening hopping from room to room in the middle school getting to listen to all 8 of Evan's middle school teachers tell me how they won't accept late homework.  Around the beginning of fifth period I became aware of some personal gastro-intestinal noise and by the time I fled the school 15 minutes early because at 44 I still cut gym AND I seriously had to fart.  And then I heard a familiar voice saying my name.

I looked around, determined me and the familiar voice were not within ear shot of anyone else, promptly pre-apologized and let one rip.

Familiar voice played it off as nothing she hadn't seen before but I wish I could heard the first sentence out of her mouth as she flipped open her phone to make that phone call I saw her make when we parted and headed in opposite directions.

Tonight's dinner did not get the rave reviews of the last two nights.  More on that tomorrow.

2 meals in

Okay.  The cover of Real SImple magazine this month says "A MONTH OF EASY DINNERS" and I was all over that.  So I checked out said magazine at the dentist's office and was disappointed to discover that a month of easy dinners does not include Saturday and Sunday dinners and only lasts for 4 weeks (Is it February already?), so a month of meals equals 20 meals in the Real Simple.  I bought the magazine anyway. 

The magazine tells me that I can follow their shopping list and shop for the entire week on the weekend before (You know, between restaurant visits).  But Real SImple doesn't realize that I have old food phobias and cannot possibly only shop once a week.  But I am going to aim for twice a week.  I can manage that.  Real SImple also doesn't seem to notice that my family likes breakfast and lunch too.  I know?  My kids ARE SO DEMANDING!

But my first shopping trip was easy actually peasy with my Real Simple magazine first two dinners all planned out for me.  I just grabbed lunch and breakfast fare.

Here are the verdicts. 

First night's dinner: Tilapia with Peppers and Olives

Matt:This fish isn't bad at all.  I normally don't like fish."

Josh: "I really don't like this fish.  Ooooh, olives!  I like olives!"

Evan: "It's really good- lemony.  I like it.  Absolutely fantastic."

They all ate it up, even Josh, who claimed not to like it.

Second night: Beef and bok choy stir fry

Matt: "It IS really good."

Josh: "It is great!"

Evan: "Me like!"

They didn't say much because they were so busy diving in.  Josh did murmur something about the best steak he ever had and Evan later added more compliments to the dish.

So, Real SImple magazine bats a thousand so far!  18 more dinners to go.

hot feet

I'm too tired to post tonight.  I made it back to the track this afternoon for 12 laps, 6 of them running.  Now my feet fee like they are filed with hot lava.  I want to go to bed.

But I also want to tell you about what I am doing for dinners this month.  Hint: Real SImple magazine.  We started tonight.  I'll let you know how it went tomorrow.  And by tomorrow I'll have a double length report.

two things that make me need to pull over from laughing so hard I cry every time I think about them

1. Have I ever mentioned that poor Matt seems to have inherited my dismal sense of direction?   We could be around the block from our house and Matt will look around and then ask me (from the passenger seat) if we will be home soon.  I'm not exaggerating.  

Leaving the SIL's house Friday night the family was discussing Matt's college choices.  There is one college a mere 3 or so miles from our home that looks like it might be a good fit for him.  Matt will NOT discuss this college even though we are most likely going to move 60 miles or so away from stepford one Matt graduates high school.  (Husband has a new job)  Evan leans into the husband and whispers something along the lines of "Just drop him off there Dad, he'll never find his way home."  Bwah ha ha.  It's so true!

2. Today Evan, his BFF and I were all tasting different foods while under the influence of magic berry fruit tablets.  We ate pickles that tasted sugar and asked the husband to tell us if they were sweet to him.  We dared to cut some paper thin slices of a jalapeno pepper and we were happily surprised to discover it tasted as light and fresh as water.  Then we wondered if perhaps the jalapeno had lost it's spark, so Evan and his BFF, showed the husband how they could lick it and not taste a thing and asked him to tell them if it was still spicy.  The husband took a big bite of the jalapeno and then spent half an hour with ice pops from the freezer pressed against his tongue.

Matt is trying to kill me

If he doesn't give me heart attack with all these learning to drive outings (OMG) then he will do me in by leaving the nest. At least I talked him into staying within driving distance. All offers for mood stabilizing medications will be carefully considered. (I can drug him and convince to him to live at home right?!?!)

Happy New Year me hearties!

Ahoy!!  We pulled ashore at the land of the in-laws last night and feasted on their carrion and beast to celebrate the coming of the new year.  So far this morning four crew members are awake.  One has the craps, one can't even look at food, one is doubled over in pain and the other has a cast iron stomach.  Oh chumbucket.  Arrrgggghhh.

This afternoon we are dropping anchor at family services.  Avast! How delightful would it be to blow chunks in synagogue?  Not.

Yo ho fiddle dee deee.  I gotta lie down.

L'shana tovah.  Happy and healthy (and sweet) new year everyone!