clickmom

"Just say NO" quote of the day

We tried speed.

It didn't work.

We just ate faster.

s'more of me than I'd like to advertise

I got invited to a "goddess party" which some chick is having on her party (pontoon) boat on the full moon evening.  The only catch is that guests are supposed to wear something white and if it is flowing (like chardonnay?) that is even better.  White isn't me (black is) and when I want to lighten up I go for brown or navy, but that being said, I coincidentally dug out every single white top that I bought but never got brave enough to wear in the last 15 years and brought them with me to utopia thinking this would be my summer of boldly wearing white.  I did it, like three times, maybe and then I ran back to the safety of my dark wardrobe.  The sentry is going to this party too, and she insisted I had to wear a white DRESS (oh for goodness sakes!) so I hopped onto my nemesis, the internet for shopping, and ordered up a white dress.  It came the other day and surprise surprise Evan and Josh managed to agree on something!  They both think I look like a big marshmallow in it!  Now my only question is, should I be a party pooper and dress normal for me or should I carry a sharpened stick and play it up with chocolate and graham cracker accessories?

my views

Josh finally told me why he is afraid to go into the utopian lake, and it has nothing to do with what I suspected, which was one kid telling far fetched snapping turtle stories.  Instead, Josh had a dream about being stranded on our sinking water trampoline and crocodiles were surrounding him while he had to make a panic ridden swim to the dock.

After hearing this unreal dream, I hopped onto the internet, but before I could find some crocodile research to help diffuse Josh's irrational fear of crocs living in our lake, I happened upon this and it made me laugh until I cried.  

Now don't ever say I never give you anything to make your own dreams from.

In case dreaming about my utopian perfection is your thing and then you can gaze at these.  This is the view from last night's dinner at the dock: 

So I sent Josh around to the sunset side of the house to see if it was inspirational enough for me to lift my ever increasing arse out of the dock side chair and rush over to photograph it.  Josh came back with a big affirmative, so I braved walking beneath the spider tree and found this on the other side of the house:

Which was not bad at all.  I mean, nothing to scream over, but better than most utopian sunsets have been this summer.  When the mosquitos finally drove me away from the back dock, I took another peek at the front dock and saw that that side of the sky had been putting on it's own little show:

Now, having just realized yesterday's very morning that sometimes I need to be able to see everything at the same time and the only realistic place to do that from is ON THE WATER I ordered a waterproof housing for my camera and starting tomorrow I will be trolling around in the early AM and around sunset in a kayak with my new water proof camera housing, hopefully not missing anything and finding even more inspiration in utopia.  (It's tough but I imagine it could be possible...)

Evan takes camp clothes to new level

scene:  Me and Ev are in laundry room pulling his wet brown moldy camp clothes out of his duffel bag and discussing the miracle of the heavy duty setting on the washing machine.

me: (holding blue sweatshirt in my bare unsuspecting innocent unprotected hands. 

Ev: Oh yeah, that's the sweatshirt that my friend Elon threw up on.

me:  wha.......

Ev: But don't worry it was before breakfast ... so it was just mostly water ... and I brushed it off.

me: wha.......

Now 2 of my sweet sweet little babies are home.  Um ... yippee?

fishies cover your eyes

We picked Matt up yesterday for his 36 hour between camp session break and headed for the city of brotherly love.

matt:  So, what are we going to do?

me: It's up to you.  We were thinking maybe we could go to the aquarium.

matt:  I like that!  You know what I'm in the mood for though?  Sushi.

me: Matt, that would just be too cruel.

greener kids

You know how other's people's kids always seem to get those concepts that your own kids struggle with?  Like your neighbor's grass is greener, except in my case it's true because my stepford neighbor has the people with the industrial strength chemicals treat her lawn a few times a year.  (Go cancer!)  

Anyway, back to the kids, greener kids do stuff that your kids can't even comprehend like cleaning up after themselves.  Lil sis sent this shot of my mini-nephew today.

And I was like "Great. Just Great.  My kids can't even figure out how to keep track of their shoes on a daily basis, or how to put their dirty clothes in the hamper, or how  to walk without leaving a trail of potato chips like Hansel and Gretel being led deep into the forest by their evil step mother and lil sis's less than 2 year old son wipes up a spill?  How is this fair?"  And then I scrolled down to see the picture that lil sis took after the picture I already showed you.

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And my kids looked just a little bit greener.

I need chocolate

Whoever designed bugs to harden into wiper fluid proof cement blobs on a windshield in half the time it takes for this driver to reach for the wiper control and attempt to de-bug the windshield clearly has it out for me.

But it's pouring rain now, so maybe there's hope that I'll be able to see my way to Matt's camp tomorrow morning.  Visiting day!  Nothing like a good downpour to counter effect the instantaneous hardening of cementious windshield bug innards.  As a matter of fact, I say, just for tonight, the harder the down pour the better.  

I pretty much cried half of the way home because I am completely on the rag/watch the hell out for me was listening to Antigone Rising and it's so good and so real and personal that it inspires me to cry like a freaking baby feel what ever I am feeling and what I am feeling right now is dread at seeing Matt and then having to bring Matt back to camp for another session when what I really want to do is chloroform him, stuff him into the back of the truck and make him come back to utopia and hang out with me instead of all of his artsy farsty into music and video friends.  Damn kids.  You raise them right and then they become adults with their own sets of needs and interests that have nothing to do with my needs!!

So, back to me, how about that great timing huh?  What does a girl need more than anything else on the first day of a four day 1,000 mile driving bonanza?  Period Cramps!  Go me!  

I need chocolate.

I'll soak up that kid with some gluten free pancakes.

Ooops.  Didn't post yesterday.  Almost didn't post today either.  Yesterday Pal was here, and today it's Wildmom and her Wildkids.  So pretty much, for the last two days I had a reality person to tell everything to and I kind of almost ditched you internet.  I guess I'm one of those girls.  Sorry.

I keep walking under the spider tree.  I must like tempting fate.

The sentry thinks the swimming rat that Josh saw was not a baby otter, but a muskrat.  I think she might be right.

I'm in awe of my other utopian neighbor's patience and love of her family.  She has two dogs and her collective visiting family have brought four other dogs with them.  Right now my neighbor has 6 dogs inhabiting her house.  I don't think I could ever be that gracious.  Or is it something else?  

I get to see Matt on Friday and Saturday and I secretly fear the good chance that I will end up sobbing and need to be dragged away from the camp when we have to return him for the second session.

Evan comes home Sunday and I am quite excited to be around all of his maple syrup sweetness.  DId I ever mention that when Evan was a baby he smelled just like maple syrup?  As long as I can make him hold his arms straight down by his side I can still sniff behind his ears and pretend.  Except I have to be real smooth about it.  Evan isn't exactly a willing participant in my sweet baby fantasy.

  

city kid's son

Scene: son stands on utopian waters edge watching mother canoe towards him while cute fluffy devil dog swims steadfastly behind.

son: Mom, there's a garbled

mom: A what?

son: A RAT

mom: WHAT??

son: A.RAT.THERE.IS.A.FUR-RY.SWIM-MING.CRIT-TER.RAT  (points to water's edge)

mom: (motionless frozen with fear-thinking) A swimming rat?  Do rats swim?  They live on ships... they must swim!  OMG what if it gets into the house?  GAG Rat poop in the house?  Wait.  How does he know what a rat looks like?  Should I get out of the canoe?  What if it bites me? Can I get rat traps?  Can you put rat traps outside?  What if I catch something else like the ottlets?  Hey, wait a minute...

son: turns nonchalantly and walks towards house

mom: spotting swimming furry critter.  Hmm... kinda cute.....

mom calling to utopian neighbor: Do baby otters have tails?

utopian neighbor:  Yes!

mom: whew

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not me in the drink (for a change)

This spring Evan and I went to kayak demonstration where we got try out and choose kayaks to buy.  I chose the recreational (large hole/easy entry) style of kayak.  Recreational is code for "middle aged person is comfortable getting out of" and Evan chose the more sportier "touring" (small hole) type, where touring means "must be thin and limber to enter and exit gracefully."  

Today the husband (in a surprise move and not at all his typical MO) asked if he and I could go out for a kayak together.  I offered to use Evan's less middle aged friendly kayak.  The husband balked at the idea.  So I hopped into mine and pushed off and floated near the shore line waiting for the husband (have I mentioned he is 6'7"?) to figure out how to get into Evan's.  

Can I tell you how hard I laughed as I watched thehusband try and try to fold his long long legs into that little hole?  Can I tell you how much harder I laughed when he ended up in the water instead of the kayak?  I paddled in, we switched kayaks (I wasn't graceful, but I did get in) and then we (with devil swimming right behind) went for a nice little paddle around.