So this winter has been interesting in terms of how all over the place my weight has been. For the most part, after taking one step forward and two steps back for a while last year, I spent the past 9 months going two steps forward and one step back which (if I can't weigh the same weight for more than a week) I suppose is preferable to the aforementioned reverse method because winter is over (YAY!) and the jeans that I broke a sweat and crushed a hip bone to squeeze into last September because I was determined to loose a hunk of poundgae this winter not only fit now, but the other night I managed to wiggle out of them with out unzipping or even unbuttoning them. So a sweet little success, a hard fought up and down battle of a weight related winter.
The past few weeks have been more smooth sailing than ever and that's because I finally finally finally did some hypnotherapy with my new new undead therapist. You see about a year ago when I first started seeing him he told me that he has to do a few therapy sessions before hypnotizing me because he doesn't read from a script, he tailors each person's hypnosis to their own specific needs, and being an old pro at the therapists couch I said "Sure!" and I bounced in there all happy and stupid and said I'd like to be hypnotized for weight loss and he asked me to tell him what has been going on in my life and first I told him how my mother and uncle wouldn't care for my 95 year old grandmother so I moved her to NJ and was taking care of her except she wasn't doing too well due to a prolapsed rectum and also how we had just had to amputate her toe and how she was in a nursing home for rehab that was just a nightmare, and oh yeah, both my parents had terminal stage 4 cancer and had just been living with me for 6 months, cause my mom's cancer was a rare form of a rare cancer, except my mom went into kidney failure from the chemo and then my parent's went home and I had no idea if and when they were going to come back because of the dialysis and everything. But would he like to hypnotize me for weight loss now?
And he said we might need a few sessions first. He was ever so tactful about it too. And then before I knew it mom and grandma went and died, and I had to deal with that, and finally we were going to get down to business with the old "Your eye lids are getting heavy, you feel sleeeepy..." when dad passed away and then I was at the point where I just had nothing left to say about the suckitude of the last year when my new new undead hypnotist therapist finally grabbed his pocket watch and did some hokus pokus what I had been waiting a whole year for and it was just great.
Folks, I am ridiculously easy to hypnotize. I told myself it's a sign of intelligence. I could swear I heard that somewhere, but you know, I maybe sometimes confuse that other voice inside my head for television news casts. Just kidding! I'm not really crazy!
Anyway. I got hypnotized and then like freaking magic I stopped eating every second of every day and now I just eat when I'm hungry and it's a meal time or something, like people in normal relationships with food. It's all so freeing and guiltless, and also my pants aren't too tight to continue wearing at the end of the day. I like this hypnotized behavior. I think I'll stay this way.
So about the weight thing, I hesitate to put my actual poundage down because I hate when people get all astounded over the number and tell me that I don't look like what I weigh, because, duh, I've seen the pictures folks, and I do. So what I will tell you, is that I am in total 30 pounds less than the poundage I have been floating around at and from now on all weight declarations will be in relation that number which is burned into my head for all of eternity. I am so looking forward to the day when I can declare "Can you believe I used to weigh XXX?" and the people's eyes bug out and they say that they cannot believe it and they accuse me of exaggerating or something. And maybe just maybe I'll whip out one of those bathing suit photos that I have but do not intend on ever showing until maybe Oprah and I get together for our prime time weight loss special or some other equally big event. Yeah, Oprah doesn't know it yet, but she needs me.
Good for you with the 30 pounds!!! That's wonderful!
Posted by: Laura | May 12, 2009 at 10:29 PM
Hi everyone. The roses, the lovely notes, the dining and dancing are all welcome and splendid. But when the Godiva is gone, the gift of real love is having someone who'll go the distance with you. Someone who, when the wedding day limo breaks down, is willing to share a seat on the bus.
I am from Western and , too, and now am writing in English, give please true I wrote the following sentence: "Razor e300 electric scooter: kanagawa lace and is used to be the best passing, having worked the whole national tournament for the due two bars."
Thank you very much :o. Jacoba.
Posted by: Jacoba | September 05, 2009 at 08:53 AM