My butt hurts! On Wednesday when I trained with Bubbles she told me to do lunges. Except my lame cheating lunges weren't lunging enough for her so she told me to lung deeper. I did what she said to do, because once I had that revelation about how every time she said the next torture exercise I would either moan or whine and I decided that I would say more macho stuff like "Hurt me Bubbles!" or positive stuff like "I love squats!" so that I wouldn't be a great big drag for Bubbles to train, I also made the conscious decision to make myself do to the best of my ability what ever it was she was suggesting that I do. With a smile on my face too!
So I lunged deeply, over and over until Bubbles said that was enough and then later on in the hour she told me to get on all fours and do the hydrant, which turns out to be a kind of butt crunching imitation of a male dog at a hydrant. Sometimes I just have to close my eyes and pretend that there aren't 25 other people right there seeing me in unflattering exercise positions. Also, while on all fours Bubbles had me pushing my heel up in the air like I wanted to press on the ceiling and also get into leg lifted on a hydrant position and swing my lower leg out and back in. Yowza.
Then within a few hours, I began to feel the effects of all the butt toning.
Everytime I have to sit down, I have to do it slowly and I tend to cry out " Bubbles!" and I am afraid that people within ear shot are either assuming I am talking to my imaginary friend or I am anguished over just having sat on a teeny tiny person named Bubbles, or worse of all, that I have named my bottom.
I was under the false impression that if your tushy was sore and you used that sore muscle again then it would be less sore. This is wrong people! Because since I was so keister tender yesterday I naturally thought that an hour on the really hard elliptical would do me some good. Contrary to that "use the sore muscle for relief" hypothesis I thought (past tense) was true, I could no longer bend at the waist at all a few hours after the elliptical. Being one of those "fool me twice shame on me" types, I thought an hour long spin class this morning would do the trick. Nay nay people! Watch me grimace with every step I take! Step. Ouch. Step. Wah! Step. Oooh. Shame on me!
In other weight loss related news, I am grain free for three days now counting today. I'm hoping that being grain free is what does the trick for my jelly rolls. (I am so over them.) It seems like my thighs are getting way smaller while my waist is maintaining. How is that fair? Can't life be fair just where my excess poundage is concerned?
But back to the thighs. From where my eyes are positioned on my face my legs are looking pretty darned smoking. I've got some serious muscle happening. And then, you saw this coming from a mile away admit it, today I was doing sit ups on the exercise ball and facing the mirror. When I was done I sat up and I saw my legs through the mirror from the opposite vantage point and I wondered if maybe this particular mirror was the kind of mirror that made everything wider and even lumpier. And then I realized that even if it made my legs look wider that there was no way it was a magical fun house lumpy mirror and I felt temporarily discouraged. But then I decided to block that unflattering leg view out of my memory, so that's what I am going to do.
What mirror?
Hydrant at 1:47. Is this what your class looks like?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIohJZ-rhyk
Posted by: danelle | February 06, 2009 at 06:56 PM
Josh was sitting next to me when I watched this.
I told him I thought they were trying to make exercise sexy.
Josh said "I know nothing about sex but I think they actually succeeded."
Yes, it's the move at 1:47.
I also do the move before that at 1:30 and a couple of the others too.
Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately (because, um, s.l.u.t.t.y.),
I look nothing like the girls in the video-
not even when I was 20.
Posted by: clickmom | February 06, 2009 at 09:20 PM