The other day I was in the check out line at whole foods when the old lady next to me peered into my cart and saw the sushi I was about to purchase and hover down on my way to pick up the kids from school. She commented how nice sushi was since a person could put it in their fridge and eat it throughout the course of a day. I laughed and gently told the sweet old lady that I had three kids and that nothing tasty lasted the course of a day in my house.
When it was my turn to check out the new cashier asked me how old my kids were. So I told her. And she looked at me like I was lying and asked me if they were my "step-kids or something." I told her that they were my very own natural children and she asked me again how old they were, like maybe I had lied the first time. She told me that I was not old enough to have my kids and I told her how old I am. She said I looked 27!
Choose the ending:
a. I told her that being really fat smoothes out the wrinkles...
b. I was filled with indignation at her blatant lie and smacked her across the face.....
c. I thought "You might be an idiot but I have a new favorite cashier!"
Today I checked out at whole foods with my new favorite cashier. The loud talking bag your groceries guy was newbie too and I had to tell him three times that he couldn't put the tomato at the bottom of the bag. Also, I asked him to pack my single re-usable bag well since I didn't want to waste paper by needing a paper bag. I told the kid I didn't want to be a tree killer. He asked me what a tree killer looked like and I (discreetly) pointed to the young guy with the toddler in the shopping cart in the next check out lane who had four less than half filled paper bags for about $30 worth of groceries. My new favorite cashier and the dumb bag boy broke out laughing. I hope the young father wasn't too offended, but just offended enough to be more conscientious. I feel preachy today.
I attended a PTO meetng at Evan's school and came to the horrible realization that despite the kind words of my new favorite cashier, I have become one of the "old mothers". I sat next to Kitten and remarked how similar the group of people were at this meeting to the PTO meetings we used to go to 10 years ago when our kids were just beginning school. And Kitten very quickly pointed out that the very same people were all "bitter, worn out and tired looking" compared to the fresh faced people we were ten years ago. I spit out my caffeinated gum and chugged my large coffee and told her "Who'd tired? Who's worn out?" and then I dozed through the treasurer's report. Then one of the toddlers of the fresh faced mothers began to fuss and I thought,
You choose:
a. Awww.. How cute!
b. Hmmmm.... maybe I should go over there and try to distract that crying baby.....
c. Geez Louise lady! Get that crying kid out of here!
At whole foods, I happened to bump onto that mother of four that I celebrated the first day of school with. She isn't usually a WF customer but she told me that LICE is already going around our schools and she was wasting no time in taking preventative measures. She was buying tea tree oil shampoo because lice didn't like it or something. Guess who else's kids will be using tea tree oil shampoo this winter?
I'm sitting around the house blogging (because why wash that sink full of dishes when you can write stories for your 12 dedicated readers?) because I am waiting for the A/C guy to come and fix our bedroom A/C. If the repair guy says we had to change the filters (or something equally as easy) I am going to pay him double since I suggested that to the husband a few times and he refused to do it. Naturally, the garden state has cooled off during the last week, but this weekend might go back into the 80's, so A/C might be in order for another night or two before the end of the season.
Grandma turned the bedroom tv on again the other night and I saw that flash of light again. I pounded the husband until he opened his eyes and he said "You're right. HI grandma." and immediately re-initiated deep slumber with heavy snoring. I should have taped it.
Grandma is also playing tricks on me with my cell phone. Though this could very well be mom. Don't forget that mom's motto was "get on with your life!" When dad called me from his house mom's picture came up on my cell phone and every time I tried to call dad back showing that picture my call failed. I think someone is telling me it might time to take mom's info off of the phone.
Well, the AC guy is now about an hour late, (They just called, they will be here around 1:30) so I am going to tackle those dishes with the help of my ipod and maybe even get some cardio if a good dance song happens to be in the line up.
PS Just for giggles I called the tv repair place and asked then if they ever heard of a tv going on in the middle of the night by itself before and the guy said that he had never heard such a thing and that if it was his tv he would unplug it and never use it again. He said he wouldn't even try to fix it for me! Even if I brought it in to the shop! Hahahahaha!!!!
PPS I told him about my new bedside table buddy Tony, (yeah, turns out he was kinda cold and didn't reciprocate when snuggled, I had to kick him out of bed. Also, when I was half asleep I kept thinking he was a tasty bottle of wine and getting all happy and thirsty when I really just needed to sleep) and repair guy said he still would never even turn the tv on again.
I believe I once asked you in an email how old you were in the picture you have posted of you with the camera on the webpage. Wehn you told me I nearly fell over and repied back that I thought it was a photo of you from High School. I think you'd said that the pic was only a few years old and that was last year when we had this email exchange. You look younger than you are hum. Enjoy it!
Posted by: Laura | September 11, 2008 at 03:41 PM
You do look very young in your photo. Remember, I have nothing to gain by lying/false flattery.
When I first came to your blog, based on your photo, I thought you were in early twenties. When I became a regular, I realized that you were a little older. Then I saw the pictures of your kids and thought "wow! this girl looks so much younger than she possibly is"
Good for you. Embrace it! Enjoy it!
Posted by: Scribers Web | September 12, 2008 at 07:36 AM