glare

We went and took grandma out to eat last night. There is a chain restaurant near the new nursing home and I thought that this could be our weekly venture. (disclaimer: the food was so inedible that we might have to just take her over for some ice cream and not the whole meal, I am not at all kidding) Anyways, turns out Wednesday night is clown night. (And a very sarcastic....) Woo Hoo to that. Not. There was a 4 year old birthday party. Talk about VOICES! It's a wonder I didn't bolt.

As a seasoned parent that I am, I know going in that clowns just bring out the (crazy) naughty in mostly the naughtiest of kids, and other people's naughty kids are not what I had in mind when as I wheeled my still quite confused and totally weak grandmother down the street. Nothing like tons of background noise to confuse the hearing impaired! So, we get seated, and having the wheelchair bound grandma, we did not have any choice regarding seat location as the place was pretty full and we were an always awkward amount of people, a party of 5.

Eventually the clown works his way to our end of the crowded little "restaurant" (because, the food? Yech. Did I mention the "food"?) And wouldn't you know the little raised by wolves/lives in a barn/in need of some actual parenting young boy at the table next to us goes into sensory overload and just loses any resemblance of composure. The kid approaches and kicks the clown, he hits the clown, he tries to swat, using the balloon animal from the clown, at the balls the clown is juggling. The mother barely sees the kid. This goes on and on. I am saying a silent prayer that the clown snaps and gives the kid the punch in the face he deserves. The mother occasionally looks over her shoulder and casually says "Stephenopolous don't" and then turns away from the kid and goes right back to her conversation. FInally, the young future criminal grabs a crayon off of the table and tries to scribble on the clowns big clown shoes. The damned clown still won't drop kick the kid! The mother makes a move to drag him away from the clown. He then takes his balloon animal, stands behind Evan, and begins balloon tapping Evan on the shoulder. Obviously his biggest mistake of the evening.

We have made a half hearted attempt to ignore the brat this whole time, but at the curious balloon tapping Evan makes eye contact with me. I whisper "It's the kid". Evan slowly rotates around in his chair and locks eyes with the boy. They stare. After a long minute the boy cautiously takes a few steps back. After another minute the boy steps sideways towards his own table. After another long minute the boy slides into his seat and appropriately hangs his head. He does not move. Evan turns back to our table, demonstrates his glare technique (learned from the master, ahem) and we polish off our banana splits with out fear. Both the clown and my family are naughty boy free for the rest of the meal. Evan gets even more of my undying gratitude.

Also, you should know that when he wasn't visually disciplining the way ward youth of a neighboring town, he was doting on grandma, encouraging her to eat, making her smile, and being as awesome as he could possibly be. (I am pretty sure he did it to make me happy) Score Evan.

Comments

[Laura]

I heart Evan. If only I was 20 years younger. *Sigh*

[danelle]

Oh wow. Taking often-confused gramma out to a noisy balloon and clown infested place..I bet she woke up this morning and thought it was a dream.

[jenn]

sounds like a fun night. NOT. (loved your use of the "not" in your post that i just had to copy it) lol

poor you, poor grandma, poor even, and poor clown! :( I hate parents like this. ugh.

i have loud and active children, that can act out and totally inappropriate, but i don't pretend that it isn't happening... I wish if I did that it would just stop, that would be amazing, but instead i think i'm a little bit the over achiever, or at least the over discapliner.. not that i beat them and all that... but i'm always right on top of situations and usually my kids too. i cannot, CAN NOT, stand naughty loud children in restaurants! one of my many pet peeves. lol

glad Evan had the "skills" to tame the wild beast of a child. lol

i think i may need him to teach me that look! :)

hugs, jenn

[Suzanne]

Oooohhh...Evan has a future in public education...if he is crazy enough to want one, that is! 'The glare' is my most effective weapon in the classroom, and works (producing the same effect you describe) on the most unruly of children from kindergarden, all the way to the most thug-wanna-be seniors.

Nothing is more satisfying that watching a mouthy child shut right up because you've given them the attention their behavior was screaming for! And the best part? You don't say a word! So, the best they can offer anyone else is, "She was looking at me...and wouldn't stop."

Love it, love it, love it.

Go Evan! Go Evan!