two fer one

Part one:
Lil sis said to me this morning "sometimes you have to be the jerk to get results" and just have a looky at what ended up in my inbox today:

Clickmom,
As promised, I went through records at my country home and I have the following: Soc. Sec. Card, Medicare Card, Passports 1977 and 1987, Drivers license exp 2/3/93, certificate of marriage registration, certificate of executrix for grandpa.

Remember, it was your dad and not I, who applied for Medicaid in NY. Apparently NY accepted copies and did not require originals of these papers.

I'll call with this list, but thought you might want a written list.

Scumcle

P.S. I also have some NY apartment management apartment security papers at my country home.

Nice try there, scumcle, trying to blame the loss of grandma's records on my dad. But the passport is what I needed (proof of citizenship) and you have that. Hopefully you'll give it up.

unrelated Part two:

Dear Universe,

When the good wonderful doctor said he wanted to redo the part of my blood test that said I was deficient in all trace minerals because it couldn't possibly be right and he suspected an error at the lab I said sure, go ahead. Well, it seems like giving up dairy (laaaatteeeeee!) as fun as it was (cheeeeeese!) didn't do anything to help the trace mineral situation. So much for my severe dairy allergy causing absorbtion issues.

I didn't know that the good doc was also redoing the heavy metals part of the test. I'd cut and paste the results for you if I knew how, but since you are the universe I am sure you already know that I am now testing in the toxic range for Aluminum, Arsenic, Cadmium, and Mercury.

Universe.... Why?

Or should I throw my hands up over my head and ask "What?" Or maybe "WHAT??" Am I somehow self producing these heavy metals? It just does not seem possible to be that toxic. Also, how am I standing here if I am that toxic? How am I not in a hospital bed covered in sores and babbling nonsense and bald and blind and deformed? Huh? How can I appear normal and be so off balance? Maybe I only think I am normal. Wait, I saw pictures yesterday. They were normal, large but in a normal kind of way. Normally large. Wait.... I must be tougher than I realize. Wait..... No wonder my memory is shot. If this heavy metal thing is true it's amazing I can even think. At least I think I am thinking. Maybe I am already crazy and all this daily posting is just a hallucination brought on by the toxic levels of everything I seem to be carting around. Hello? Knock knock! Are you there? More importantly, am I here?

Universe, Can I get a break please? Or at least some medicinal marijuana? I mean if I am not going to think straight, I might at least as well laugh about it, right?

And make it soon.

I am fairly certain I am teetering on the edge here.

Thanks for listening,
Clickmom

Comments

[Jenny]

wait, so the doc gives you this info about the heavy metal concentrations but then doesn't tell you what it MEANS? WTF?

[Candy]

That is pretty wacky. Are you eating or drinking stuff from any porcelain bowls made in a foreign country? I read a story in the Reader's Digest when I was 12 about a family that essentially killed all their children by poisoning them with milk they stored in a porcelain jug from Mexico or somewhere. I was 12. I have worried about that EVER SINCE. Check your jugs.

[jenn]

i know it is SO not funny at all but the "check your jugs" thing just makes me laugh...like LOL laugh. like snort while laughing out loud. that could be the slogan for breast cancer awareness...

i'm sorry. i'm being slightly inappropriate.

this is interesting news, what does it all mean and when will they fill you in on it all??? i mean you can't just tell someone they have traces of all this stuff in thier body and then send them off on their merry little way.... or can you?? what the hell???

well i hope you get some answers VERY soon and also start to get it all taken care of and straightened out.

hugs, jenn

[apathy lounge]

I hate it when people act like they're giving me what I'm asking for when they're actually only giving me everything BUT what I'm asking for. Bastards!