Dear Twitches

Dear Twitches,

You have got to go. It isn't you, I mean you guys, really, you are good company, reliable and steadfast, it's me. It's all me. I am more of a loner, even in these times of incredible stress and possible low grade depression. It is just that I would rather do it on my own. I know, at first you made me smile and laugh how every time I could just say the word "scumcle" (oh look.... you . are . doing . it . now) and my eye lid would start fluttering away. Or how when I had to see Natasha for the first time in a month and my lip developed this very Elvis kind of twitchy beat to it and I showed it to the desk lady at the posh club. And then the two of us laughed that "Eeew gross Hahaha What is up with your face?" laugh. Except I was really crying on the inside and she just might have disinfected the desk when I walked away. And the other day, when I was thinking of every trouble all at once and my neck and my cheek both started to twitch at the same time... well, that may have been kind of on the over board side. And now I am officially over you.

So, you aren't funny or cute anymore. As a matter of fact, the very same things that were kind of endearing and charming for about a minute and a half are now the same things that make me want to stuff you in a plastic bag and dump you into a fast moving river. So, just leave before it gets ugly. Ok? Saying goodbye is never easy, so let's just say "Shake you later!" and go our own ways. Really, it's the grown up way to do it. We are adult here, no? No need for scenes, or botox (sorry, didn't mean to sound threatening there...), or other nerve paralyzing procedures. Right? Cause you are just going to pack your bags and slip out the back Jack. Make all the plans you want Stan, as long as they don't include me.

So, listen stress related twitches, or even possibly a hemifacial spasm (oh yes, I have done my internet research), just go away.

Please.

This isn't fun anymore.

In despair,
Click

Comments

[Melissa]

Magnesium might be one solution. May do nothing but hey, try it. Can't hurt.

[SuzanneSays...]

I'm sure I'm going to win "Idiot Commenter of the Year" with this one - but sounds to me like you're just about to redline on some gauge or another.

I know what - I'll arrange a kidnapping! I'll send a couple of big (but gentle and hunky) thug types your way to snatch you out of your life and into the back of a van and deliver you immediately to the spa of your choice. Length of stay to be determined. Sound good?

I'm on it...