Not enough brain cells for Haiku again. This is the story I was going to try to tell you in 5-7-5. I was driving down the street with Evan and out of the corner of my eye I saw two squirrels chasing each other around on someone's lawn. Evan sees them too. I might have said "Aaaww, how cute" because seriously, you could just imagine them giggling as they frolicked about they were so cute. I think "Oh, how sweet they are playing tag like children" when suddenly the squirrels head right for the street and right in front of my truck. I scream (like the squirrels might hear me or something), Evan practically jumps out of his seat arms extended in the "halt" signal screaming too, and as I take my foot off the gas to slam on the brake I notice a car right up my ass in the rear view mirror so I can't slow down even and I brace myself for the worst. Only the two of us are screaming so loud I am not sure if even feel that sickening kind of hit a woodland creature homicidal thump. But as soon as we get past the spot Evan glares at me and says "You killed them." and I say back "How do you know? I'm not sure I felt anything and I could not see anything behind us with that car all up my tail" and Evan glares at me some more and says that in the least worst case scenario I probably ran over one of their tails and now the squirrel is limping from the road leaving a trail of tail stump blood behind him. I ask Evan if he wants me to turn around so we can drive back and look. He says he does. We drive the other way past the spot and there are amazingly no squirrel guts smeared all over the road. I turn around and we re-drive the potential crime scene and there is absolutely no trace of even stump blood on the street. I say "See I didn't hit them!" and Evan says "Yeah, I bet their bloodied bodies are clinging to the wheel wells right now." (Did he want me to hit them or what?) So, naturally, I cautiously slowly pulled into our driveway, peered around in the wheel wells and vindicated myself once again. Whew! Never let it be said that I am not a friend to creatures big and small. (Unless of course they are tasty when pan seared.
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